[Nsomthin]

im confused

i wonder if people really do care about others around them . i see so much of it on the news like with the immigration thing why do they bother , sure if it affects you id understand but if it doesnt why should you care. i always remember when a cop or a child dies or is killed everyone makes a big deal why? its not like its they are relatives and there is nothing that can really be done. they always brings gifts or flowers or light candles i dont see why its just a waste of time . i doubt it will dull the pain the persons that should cares pain.

why do people care is it to make them feel better about themselves or do the feel they need to care?

i wonder if there is something wrong with me because i dont care at all, unless it affects me in some way, why should i? am i missing something? or is everyone just pretending? if so why pretend?

there is probably more to say i just cant think of it, and please do not get hung up on the details about the cop or something because it could be anything from a child drowning to a natural disaster. and for the immigration thing it could be any law its just that one i hear about the most now adays

(and im sorry if this is hard to read its hard to organize my thoughts, im aslo if this is the wrong place i just thought it fit)

[lynn P.]

I can only speak for myself -I genuinely care about people. I just watched the weekly show called 'What Would You Do' - where they act out a controversial scene with actors and see what the general public would do. I know I would be the kind of person to step up and help. The show talked about, how a homeless man feel on a sidewalk in NY -he hit his head on a car. He laid there for an hour, before anyone stopped and helped. By the time he did get help, he passed away. I feel compassion and morals is lacking more so in todays society

[shichi]

I think the term "care" has several layers.

For instance, do I care about strangers that I don't know? Personally, my care towards them is more on an intellectual level, in that I wouldn't want to wish harm on people and if someone was injured, I would either try to help or I would want them to recover ASAP. I care because I respect the sanctity of life and I think everyone deserves the best life possible - which includes a life without pain.

However, do I care from an emotional point of view? Honestly, I don't...and there are actually very few people in my life that I can honestly say that I care about emotionally. Then again, I do have some issues with empathy so I'm probably not representative of most people.

[Evening]

I care because I'd want someone to care about me too. Of course if I see something on the news I'm going to get emotionally hung up or cry about it, but sometimes it can touch a nerve. The immigration? Here in Australia we have a lot of that happening, immigration and refugees on illegal boats, because Australia is so remote they think they can get in. It affects me because I find that the topic is a real segway for racism and that just makes my blood boil. A lot of my relatives are a little bit racist, they have very black and white views that I sure as hell don't agree with. And I've heard the N word come out of my grandfathers mouth, and g**ks and bl**ky. It's a disgusting attitude. There is an Asian restaurant near my house and their sign is always getting smashed, the other store signs don't have a scratch on them, only the Asian restaurant. It affects me because this is where I live, and it's an embarrassment. Then I see more of it on TV and it's even more shameful.
As for the death of people, well sometimes death has the biggest voice, it takes a death for people to notice, it takes someone to commit suicide before people start to really care about mental health, it takes an overdose for people to really start to care about addiction, it takes the death of a police officer for people to really see the disrespect of people out there that we have to live with.
Not everything is going to affect everyone equally, but some people are more sensitive to things or passionate about things than others.

[Nsomthin]

I wouldn't want to wish harm on people

i do agree im not actively wishing harm on people but i could care less whether or not someone gets better, unless i think they have some worth to the world in someway, hmm that sounds bad is it?

I can only speak for myself -I genuinely care about people. I just watched the weekly show called 'What Would You Do' - where they act out a controversial scene with actors and see what the general public would do. I know I would be the kind of person to step up and help. The show talked about, how a homeless man feel on a sidewalk in NY -he hit his head on a car. He laid there for an hour, before anyone stopped and helped. By the time he did get help, he passed away. I feel compassion and morals is lacking more so in todays society

but why should you what does it matter if that homeless man dies? would you help because you would get praise or something? what is the point? uhh i feel like im in the wrong i just dont understand

[El-ahrairah]

I don't care unless I'm involved or something particular is involved that I care about.
Like I care about kids because I love kids, so when I hear about a kid getting kidnapped and killed I really do feel sympathy because I genuinely love kids...

[Fresia]

I can empathize and sympathize with things people are going through which in turn touches me. I learned early on to look at things from someone else's perspective and how I would feel were I in their shoes. It can change how I think and feel about a situation and how to act accordingly by including this perspective with my own. It helps in interacting with others and with relations, personal and professional, a real interest and consideration of others.

I am amazed by that show Lynn P mentions, "What would you do?" and is difficult for me to watch. It is astonishing to me the lack of consideration and lack of courtesy by others and how people just disregard and dismiss each other even in daily events but especially in life threatening and harmful situations. It is upsetting to me.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by Nsomthin

im confused

i wonder if people really do care about others around them . i see so much of it on the news like with the immigration thing why do they bother , sure if it affects you id understand but if it doesnt why should you care. i always remember when a cop or a child dies or is killed everyone makes a big deal why? its not like its they are relatives and there is nothing that can really be done. they always brings gifts or flowers or light candles i dont see why its just a waste of time . i doubt it will dull the pain the persons that should cares pain.

why do people care is it to make them feel better about themselves or do the feel they need to care?

i wonder if there is something wrong with me because i dont care at all, unless it affects me in some way, why should i? am i missing something? or is everyone just pretending? if so why pretend?

there is probably more to say i just cant think of it, and please do not get hung up on the details about the cop or something because it could be anything from a child drowning to a natural disaster. and for the immigration thing it could be any law its just that one i hear about the most now adays

(and im sorry if this is hard to read its hard to organize my thoughts, im aslo if this is the wrong place i just thought it fit)

Hello Nsomthn,

All I can give you is my opinon what I feel why I care. I care because the murder of a child is the murder of an innocent; the murder of a policeman is a murder and attack against the very people who have sworn to protect us. The murder of any decent person is a loss and is a travesty.

It is unjust and an outrage. People with no conscience who committ murder are uncaring on any level other than what pleases them, what they want, whether it is murder, or any other crime.

Those who take flowers and soft toys are showing sorrow for the loss of an innocent young life that will never achieve what it was born to acheive; and they go in support of the grieving family, so that they know they are not alone. It is also a reminder of mortality and how fragile life really is.

Just as we in our mental illness come here for support, to receive support in the form of words and ((((hugs)))) those people go to the scene for support; to be where the one who died took their last breath. Because there is an essence of them there and it can be felt.

I can understand it confuses you though I don't understand why it bothers you. It is a natural instinct to group together in grief, that is why people go to funerals; to pay their last respects to the one who is gone, and to tell the family that they are not alone and if they need any help they can call on them for it.

This is all I can tell you at the moment of the top of my head,

Rhiannon

[Indie'sOK]

Why should a person get praise for an act of kindness? We do it because it's the right thing to do. We're all here, on this earth together, and we need to help each other out and make the most of life while we've got it. My signature links to a site that was put up by the parents of a missing little boy named Kyron Horman. He's been missing for a couple months now, and there is a huge effort out there made by random strangers like myself who want to help in any way possible to bring him home. Why do we do it? Because how would it feel to be in that situation yourself? If we can ease some of the pain for those parents, then maybe it makes us a bit happier as well. That's my reason why I care.

[Nsomthin]

I can understand it confuses you though I don't understand why it bothers you.

things that i dont understand often annoy and bother me, i just dont see the point to care about others its almost seems like a weekness to me.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by Nsomthin

things that i dont understand often annoy and bother me, i just dont see the point to care about others its almost seems like a weekness to me.

I understand your point of view, but I see caring as a strength not a weakness. To me weakness is not caring about anything, not even the smallest of house chores, or some other personal action.

Weakness is not being able to be bothered to care. Not having the emotion there however is a different thing. People can care without getting emotionally out of control, there is a difference there.

Of course no one has the right to tell you what to think, not to think, what to care or not care about and those choices are yours alone and should be repsected.

I think you are empty, and I really do know what that feels like. I get to that point a lot. I feel that where my heart is supposed to be there is a huge black hole that nothing can fill. That depersonalisation and the desensitising to others, removing them from your sphere of care; you can't put somewhere that at the moment is numb and does not exist.

Often the depression lifts for a few days, and you can heave a sigh of relief, but for some it doesn't lift and they spend their days in this state actually looking at the gaping hole they think should have something in it but they don't know what...

Rhiannon

I care because I choose to.

[Nsomthin]

but why? lol im beginning to sound like a broken record. i mean so what if a kid dies its not like its yours or someone you knows, and people die all the time this world is full of suffering wouldn't it be better just to not care about all that stuff that does not concern you?

I learned early on to look at things from someone else's perspective and how I would feel were I in their shoes

i am not blind to others suffering nor do i look away i can see thru' other peoples eyes but all i see are there mistakes and how i would of done better

If we can ease some of the pain for those parents, then maybe it makes us a bit happier as well. That's my reason why I care.

but your just easing the pain nothing can be done to get rid of it, and if the kid is truly gone why prolong it? and so what if i was in the situation? it is useless to think like that because i could also think about what if i was born a millionaire. the simple fact is that i wasn't and im not, i shouldn't waste my time thinking about there problems

I think you are empty,

you are probably right about that but what can be done about it?

((am i in the wrong? is what im saying wrong? if so please tell me and i will shut up. im not a good judge of whats appropriate im also sorry if anything i said was rude or offensive again im not a good judge of whats appropriate))

People care because the gene that compels compassion won out in the process of natural selection. The human race has a better chance of survival if people care about one another.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by Nsomthin

but why? lol im beginning to sound like a broken record. i mean so what if a kid dies its not like its yours or someone you knows, and people die all the time this world is full of suffering wouldn't it be better just to not care about all that stuff that does not concern you?


((am i in the wrong? is what im saying wrong? if so please tell me and i will shut up. im not a good judge of whats appropriate im also sorry if anything i said was rude or offensive again im not a good judge of whats appropriate))

You are not wrong for posting the question, it is just shocking/sad that you don't understand.

It's all to do with feelings. We feel great empathy, understanding, feel very sad when someone else is seriously hurt or dies. Especially towards children that have only just started life and the life is lost.

If you are truly saying that you feel nothing when seeing these awful things then that points to the question of why you feel nothing.

[Perna]

It doesn't sound like you care about yourself much? Hard to care about others or understand why someone would if we don't care about ourselves first/either.

I think a lot of "care" is indirect; if we have children we care about other people's children because we want other people to care about our children when they're away from us. "Children" isn't something I'm concerned with right now but the elderly, that sort of thing because I'm coming up on that age myself. I care about me and how I'll be treated so am interested in laws, care, etc. as it relates to the elderly, individuals I hear about as they relate to my loved ones or anticipated future.

[ECHOES]

when a cop or a child dies or is killed everyone makes a big deal why? its not like its they are relatives and there is nothing that can really be done. they always brings gifts or flowers or light candles i dont see why its just a waste of time . i doubt it will dull the pain the persons that should cares pain.

I think people relate to the others' pain and feel a need to be part of the comforting. It is also a feeling of being part of the fabric that makes up our community. If we feel a part of that, then I think we feel for the other members too.

I don't always care. I too sometimes think it seems odd that total strangers are attempting to be part of the grieving that should be private and I wonder who is really being comforted. And if that feels like an extra burden to the family members that are grieving.

[Nsomthin]

People care because the gene that compels compassion won out in the process of natural selection. The human race has a better chance of survival if people care about one another.

i think that too some times

You are not wrong for posting the question, it is just shocking/sad that you don't understand.

It's all to do with feelings. We feel great empathy, understanding, feel very sad when someone else is seriously hurt or dies. Especially towards children that have only just started life and the life is lost.

If you are truly saying that you feel nothing when seeing these awful things then that points to the question of why you feel nothing.

i dont understand why its shocking or sad. hmm maybe i do a lil. and so what if i dont care at all when a child or someone dies its not like it makes me a bad person and im sure i dont feel nothing.

It doesn't sound like you care about yourself much? Hard to care about others or understand why someone would if we don't care about ourselves first/either.

does it really sound like i dont care about myself? well i do i have my goals and i dont let others or feelings get in the way of my goal

I don't always care. I too sometimes think it seems odd that total strangers are attempting to be part of the grieving that should be private and I wonder who is really being comforted. And if that feels like an extra burden to the family members that are grieving.

i agree i think that the grieving process should be private , maybe they make it public so they can get more money( i hear funerals are expensive)

[(JD)]

(((nsomthin)))) I think it's your depression that is preventing you from caring (or feeling like you care) and understanding how people can care about others.

Try and "just" accept that caring is a capacity that many humans have. I believe it's supernatural myself.

As for the media showcasing certain events does make it seem like more people care about that than other non-hyped events. I think people who care, care, and those who don't, don't...regardless of the media events.

It scares me when someone doesn't feel anything when they hear a horrible story about a child or someone dying or getting hurt.

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

It scares me when someone doesn't feel anything when they hear a horrible story about a child or someone dying or getting hurt.

Feel free to completely and utterly ignore this question if you find it bothersome, but why?

[Typo]

I care, because we are all on this earth, in this life together, one act of kindess can change a person's whole life.

I know I have a very maternal sense about me, and I'm very protective of children, probably because of things that happened to me as a child, and I don't want another person to ever have to feel that pain or suffer with the life long effects of it.

I care when a solider, a officer, an emt, firefighter etc pass away because they put their own lives on the line everyday to protect us, to care for us in an emergency, they go above and beyond what they have to, to keep us, the public safe.

I care when anyone is hurt or injured, or passes away, every life is precious, every life impacts everyone else's life in way, every person is someone's child, possibly sibling, family, friend.

We all leave a footprint behind in this earth, a piece of ourselves, and I plan to make sure everyone I meet I try my hardest to treat with kindness, with care, with polite approach.

[Nsomthin]

Quote:
Originally Posted by roseleigh7
It scares me when someone doesn't feel anything when they hear a horrible story about a child or someone dying or getting hurt.

Feel free to completely and utterly ignore this question if you find it bothersome, but why?

yeah i was kind wondering that too.

[eskielover]

I feel that God put us on this earth to care about each other. To love our neighbor as ourselves & to love them as He loves us. For me, when one of those other lives touches mine, then I take a active role in caring. When the lives don't touch mine, I still feel empathy for those whose lives are touched, but do not end up with the same emotional feeling as when their life touches mine.

When I was working in California, I took a late lunch & was driving away from work. An older man fell in the crosswalk getting up the curb, with an arm full of groceries, where I was stopped at the light. There were people around but no one went to him to help him up. I found a place to park my car & walked back, helped him up, & gathered up his groceries in the bag he was carrying & helped him home to his apartment. No one recognized that I did what I did. The man didn't even say thank you. A few days later, I went back to is apartment to see if he was ok. He didn't even recognize me. Who knows....maybe he was dealing with alzheimers or some kind of illness or who knows, maybe he'd had too much to drink.....but it didn't matter, he needed help to get up & get himself home. It wasn't for recognition or even thanks that I felt the need to help him as I would hope that someone might help me if I was in the same situation some day.

My first year at my new home here 2 years ago......4th of July. I had no idea what the noise was that I heard from inside my house. Somehow, I managed to throw on a sturdy pair of shoes & cell phone in hand, came across a car that had rolled & flipped, throwing several of the people & a dog out of the car & penning the boy driver into his seat. Immediate call to 911 got the rescue people out immediately which saved the life of the boy. While I was at it, I caught the dog that had also been in the car & was injured & got him to the vet for emergency surgery & I kept the dog for the 3 months while his girl owner was in the hospital & going through rehab because her back, hips & wrist had been broken. Being new to the community, I only knew a few people, but the community banded together helping me pay the vet bill for the dog. No recognition at all with that other than one of the EMT's recognized me at another accident that happened right in front of me on another road. I stopped to care for the people until the EMT's arrived at that accident also(much less serious accident with no one seriously injured).

I have always stuck up for the things that I knew were right & always confronted those who were abusing animals or people. I confronted several people about abusing their animals. Took one away & the other, I got in the way of the guy beating his dog & then called the ASPCA on him after he threatened to beat me up for interfering. I told him to bring it on because I would love to see him in jail.....he didn't touch me & stopped hitting the dog (in the college parking lot). I was glad that he finally showed some restraint because I really didn't want to get hit but I knew I had to take a stand.

I also know what it feel like when no one cares. I tried to get help when the home care person was abusing my Mother & myself, but everyone who wasn't actually there, seeing exactly what was going on denied that anything like that could possibly happen.....things like that just don't happen to people like my Mother......wrong!!!! Not only that, but they didn't want to get involved in something like that when asked to help. It actually made me feel angry toward those who would not step up & support who were supposed to be good friends of my Mother because the abusive person was associated with my Mothers boyfriend.

I support families physically & emotionally who are going through a loss if they have touched my life but do not physically support anyone who has not touched my life. I may send a sympathy note to let them know that I care but will not emotionally extend myself past that point even though I do emphasize with their feelings of grief.

As for the things that I feel are a problem in the country I live in, I take that personally because I know that the laws & things going on in one state can actually have a ripple effect across into other states. I feel that it's important to care for how our country is being run as we need to protect our freedom so again, I stand up & voice my opinion of the things that I feel make a difference.

I care to volunteer, to lend my hand (or my truck) be a helpful part of the community I live in. Not for the recognition, but because it makes me feel good to know that I am able to do some good that will mean a difference in some way to someone.

The interesting thing is that I have always felt that way toward others & have always wanted to help.....but it always seemed like when I needed help there was no one there until last year when I was having some financial problems because of a huge electric bill because of the crook that installed my heat pump system in my new home. I was shocked at how many wonderful people including PC stepped up to help along with several community groups & several churches. Several that I had never had any contact with before then. It was such an awesome feeling to know how much people really did care & how much help people I didn't even know were willing to extend themselves with.

Caring is an important part of keeping the community going. Feeling support from people you know is wonderful.....feeling support from people you don't know is a miracle that gives the heart a really warm fuzzy feeling that is hard to explain.

I care because I love, not for any reward or thanks it just makes me feel good inside to know that someone's life is better because I have been able to touch them or help in some way.

[KUREHA]

This is what I don't understand, when a child dies and it gets media coverage and they show all these people upset.

I get that the family and friends will be upset and angry, but when there are people that don't know them at all and they are the same.

Sure it might be harsh, but they have this strong reaction and negative reaction to the killer, but I don't see why - it doesn't have any effect on their life