[fearfulfrog]

I believe that true recovery from mental illness is possible. I fought depression, PTSD,addiction issues and an eating disorder through High School , College and beyond. I found meaning and direction in my life, found coping mechanisms that worked. I worked, had a great time as a single with many friends and roommates, found "Mr Right", got engaged- then my PTSD kicked in. I severed the relationship, went into intense therapy- but continued my active lifestyle, took no psych meds and got through it with the help of a great therapist. I got back together with "Mr. Right"- we had remained friends and never 100% thought were weren't meant to be together. 8 years since recovering from my past the first round, I married- 4 years of effort gave us a wonderful incredible son; We were ready to try again as soon as he was weaned ( about 1 year later); 3 1/2 years of fertility treatments ended in no baby. I had seen a therapist throughout the worst of the treatments to deal with the emotional ups and downs; Long story short- insurance refused to continue my treatment unless I went on an anti- depressant medication 2 years of a revolving door between the locked wards and the pharmacy ensued; I finally found the strength I had 18 years before- stopped the medication, found a new medication ( not an SSRI); NO hospital in almost 2 years, same medication for same length of time, yet in trying to regain custody of my son ( hubby is with me 100%- we are on the same side of the battle) my sister won't relent! I have 16 years of stability- despite the severe ups and downs of PTSD; 2 years of insanity- due predominately to the medication and now 2 years of stability. When will my sister and the GAL and courts declare me in recovery- my doctors and therapist do not question my ability to care for my child- rather my sister ( a babysitter) and a lawyer and a judge are trying to tell me I can't have him back??

I am desperate- If the STATE had taken him away there would be a process set forth clearly, but my sister chose to go to probate court- I was never told what I had to do to get him back! I am reeling!

[Perna]

Fearful; you need a lawyer; your sister's guardianship of your son could be permanent! (See #15): http://www.courts.state.nh.us/probat...ianshipfaq.htm

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello fearful,

If you don't mind me asking what were the circumstances of you loosing your son? There must have been something very serious happening for this to occur. I really feel for you and I just wish courts and others could understand that we can get better by degrees.

The problem is there that there are marked differences between types of mental disorders ie; psychoses vs neuroses and while one has very little probability to be cured the other might be but as yet from my knowledge at this point I don't know of anyone who has been cured of a mental illness. I have only seen hiatus' of symptoms for a period of time due to medication.

I really wish you luck with this. The main thing is to be able to handle the whole thing without you going down hill again and getting doctors to prove that you are ok. The main thing in their considerations will be the physical emotional and mental welfare of your son.

Please keep posting so that we can try to help you through this, it must be awful for you

Hello, fearfulfrog. I was unable to find the actual New Hampshire laws online. I did find this:

Terminating Guardianship

• A guardianship is terminated upon order of the Court, death, or a finding by the Court that the ward is no longer incapacitated.
• A ward may request the termination of guardianship every year and a hearing is held at which the guardian is required to prove that the grounds for guardianship continue to exist.
• Upon termination the guardian shall file a final account within 90 days or a death certificate within 30 days.

As I understand your situation, your sister was appointed guardian of your child. You are not under a guardianship. Do you know why the Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is opposed to terminating the guardianship so you may regain custody?

It seems to me, if you can establish to the satisfaction of the court you are capable of caring for your child, the guardianship should be terminated. I do not understand your parental rights have been terminated. A capable parent in all states is entitled to custody of his/her children.

I see why you think the procedure for regaining custody is confusing. A good domestic relations attorney would be helpful. My thought is you need to petition the probate court to have have the guardianship terminated and regain custody.

Good luck.

[Princess_Obsidian]

Greetings,

I wish you the best of luck on accomplishing your recovery goal/s.

Have a good one.

[fearfulfrog]

Thanks for the input. My sister took guardianship of my son while I was bouncing in and out of psych hospitals; I went into post partum depression when I lost my last chance to have another baby ( fertility treatments had drained our resources). My insurance company threatened to stop my therapy if I didn't try medication. The medication pushed me over the edge into post-partum psychosis; from that point on it was never do I NEED medication it was which medication MIGHT work; Recovery happened once I put my foot down and stopped everything, now I am on an anti- seizure medication which has normalized my sleep.

My GYN says that had I been treated with BIRTH CONTROL pills in slowly lowering doses I would have recovered much quicker- 3 years of fertility treatments had messed up my hormones- NOT my brain chemicals!

I am pro-se fighting this because we can't afford an attorney- I am on disability; Although my treatment providers feel that there is no need for my son to be away, the GAL sided with my sister 100%- and noted the time he has been with her as part of the issue- the GAL was supposed to take 60 days to write her report- 16 MONTHS later she finally filed it- and we are to blame???

Even the day after getting the report I saw my therapist- she said she didn't agree, but how I handled this would weigh heavily on what happens next. I took a long walk after I read the letter, sent out an e-mail with the news to all my friends who have been praying for me, took a shower, my regular medication ( pain meds, muscle relaxer and seizure medication) and ONE klonopin- I have 2 prescribed PRN per day. Next day, did some banking, filed some stiff with the federal court ( not related to this); then went to my appointment. All stuff done rationally, as calmly as possible;

While there is no grounds to terminate our parental rights, the GAL says ending the guardianship would cause psych harm to my son because he has been with my sister so long- and she has been filling him with lies and making seeing him VERY difficult- even with court ordered visits!

The GAL focused on 2 yrs of "meltdown"- ignored 16 years from college to then with no issues at all- dealt with my PTSD without medication, held a job, lead a full life. I am one of the 2% of people that the FDA puts that black box warning on the medication about- but I am not a "young adult" ( 44 now)- the only reason they said young adult was because all the studies excluded adults between 25 and 65! Our chemical make up doesn't majically change at 25- why limit the studies??

I am to the best of my ability trying to mount my defense- but I have a hearing in two weeks regarding visits and need three plans ( one- no supervision; two- supervision by a friend of ours; three- visitation by a neutral 3rd party[which of course we have to pay for]); then within a week I have to have my full defense ready with ANY and all witnesses, articles that I want to present and any other information I many want to present at the hearing. which will be two weeks after that!

Even if I manage to get a legal aid lawyer, they aren't going to have much time to prepare- and I certainly don't want an extention- that is what keeps happening and making it harder to get him back.

I will keep you up to date- but if anyone knows of good articles that show that SSRIs can cause worse reations- especially when post- partum please let me know!

-this is long, but read to end it has a lot of suggestions at the end; from one with experience (starts at: "hears the key")
-the first part is my story so i can show how i can relate


hi, i had an issue where i was in car accident. ended up with a closed head injury and had to learn to keep my leg from dragging on the floor and had to learn to deal with the brain injury. after which: my parents tried to keep my daughter away and take permanent guardianship of her. she first lived with my mom, then my bother for a year (in a far away state), they went so far as to get my cousins (who she hadn't seen since she was a toddler) to get temporary guardianship of her when she moved in with them without the courts approval or had any standing. so i couldn't take her away from them.
confusing, i know. they didn't even want her. they just didn't want me to have her. I've always been the outcast, because of the mental illness and i didn't graduate college. to them i was a failure. and not fit to raise their grand daughter. i think they were waiting for a opportunity like this.
as i said; i had a mental illness before this and never inhibited any signs that i had problems taking care of my daughter. during this time they fought me regaining my own guardianship. which i myself argued in court, the judge gave it back to me since there was no reason. then i went about trying to get my daughter back. my father's a lawyer kept on switching courts, i believe to establish a home at my cousins. it took a year to get before a judge. my parents were told to have my daughter psychiatrist talk to my health professional, which never happened. they made up lies and hired two more lawyers. i had legal aid. they were filling my daughters head with lies to. my lawyer believed me...so when i finally got in front of a judge i got her back. i have so much documentation i fill up a whole draw of my file cabinet. sorry to be so long. first, you need a lawyer. if you can't get legal aid there are ones that will do it "probono". and a continuance is worth the end resolt...believe me. it's important to put everything together before you go to the lawyers.

hears the key:
documentation and
professionals willing to testify on your behalf.

articles just don't cut it. a lawyer can tare them to shreds. but if you have all the documentation a your lawyer may know how to go about a defense
heres is some of what i needed to do
1. psychiatrist that would testify as to your mental health
2. documents of past doctors who could say this happened because of health problems
2. witnesses (support people or even friends) with a professional background with children: testifying with their option of my capabilities of parenting
3. getting visitation with child while the court case was going on (better to get supervised then there's a paper trail) even if you don't have people around that can write your interaction with the child
3a. each visit documented by yourself and those who supervised visits
3b with upstanding members of the community they could not refute like:
*a paster or elder in the church
*other members of my family
*a teacher or others that work with children
4. time line of all that occurred
including all phone calls and communications
5. had all documentation from health care professionals
6. had documentation when met with the friend of the court (they almost always get involved in these situations)
7. your spouses recollection of all that happened in the problemed time
if the sole reason your sister is fighting
8. character witnesses/if you go to church pastors are great
9. document any and all contact you have with other side
10. other family members that think differently than your sister about the situation
11. find out what you signed regarding the guardianship-if it's temporary that's easier
12. the time your sister let you have contact with your child (if she didn't that's very important)
if you have all this together for the lawyer
he can mount a better defense
you need a lawyer believe me
if you can't get one from the court
go to a firm if they won't do or can't do pro bono in this area of law they can point you to one that does

again
documentation and professional witnesses
a lawyer (they know what's important and how to communicate it to the court

i won against three lawyers. it is possible
keep posting or you can ask me privately
if what happened was your child was taken because of health reasons you should be able to get custody back... with a lawyer

Hello, fearfulfrog. Please look in the yellow pages for the number of the state bar association. Call to see if you are eligible for reduced rate or pro bono representation by a domestic relations attorney. Calling NAMI to seek support and assistance also may be beneficial: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...iateFinder.cfm

nikkiamber has provided a lot of useful information in her post. Preparation is a key.

See: http://www.ordination.org/rights.htm

"In short, the protection of parental rights should not have to be achieved on a piecemeal basis through unpredictable and expensive court challenges. The constitutional mandate articulated by Meyer and its progeny is clear: The right of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children shall not be infringed."

See: http://www.nhbar.org/publications/ar...ssue.asp?id=52

"In New Hampshire, parental rights protections are grounded in the State constitution. "[T]he right to raise and care for one's children [is] a fundamental liberty interest protected by Part I, Article 2 of the New Hampshire Constitution ..."

There is a lot in these New Hampshire Supreme Court cases. I am troubled that the Probate Court may consider evidence otherwise subject to the Rules of Evidence. Retaining an experienced guardianship attorney would serve you well.

I appreciate what you are doing. Ultimately, you must show the court regaining custody is in the child's best interest. I wish you the best.

thanks TheByzantine. sometimes i get caught up in the details. and forget to state the legal objective points. i become "that mother" frantically fighting for her child.

and yes, to reiterate to feafulfrog. your quote "The right of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children shall not be infringed." though i don't know about New Hampshire state law. my case happened in Michigan. you have a lot in your corner being the biological parent.
fearfulfrog,
don't give up! i know at times i wanted to quit. it looked hopeless, especially when they kept on switching courts and after the other attorney came on board. i just kept on thinking: no matter what happened (win or loose) my daughter would know, as an adult, i never gave up. i fought to the bitter end. it didn't matter how i felt. it was for her. see, it just hit's me personally. so thats my humble "mother's voice"
but keep posting...