[lotusflames]

I have an appointment with the pdoc at 3pm (it's 2.20pm) and i dont wanna go. why do i fight to get the appointments if i know they aren't gonna do anything to help?

[Perna]

I find it hard to get "to" somewhere but I'm all right once I'm there. It makes sense to me that you don't want to be disappointed but also that you're hopeful. Go anyway and let us know what happens?

[JayS]

You should go to all your appointments, it does help even though you think it doesn't.... and the more you go the easier it gets to talk about things.

[lotusflames]

well, i've been.

we talked about how i dont really care what label they stick on it, what i care about is that i can't function right now and it's not been getting any better over the past 18 months since i totally crashed and how i can't keep up with my "all over the place" moods anymore.

she knew before i went in what she was gonna do! put me on lithium pending a blood test

[Linda Esposito]

Originally Posted by lotusflames

I have an appointment with the pdoc at 3pm (it's 2.20pm) and i dont wanna go. why do i fight to get the appointments if i know they aren't gonna do anything to help?

Is this a psychotherapy appointment? If so, it's normal to feel unmotivated about going, but on the other hand, is staying home working for you? Meaning, how is your situation affected for the better by doing nothing?

[lotusflames]

no it's psychiatrist. i dont have a therapist and dont seem able to get a referral. not sure i even care cos not sure how it would help.

i'm only home cos i'm on holidfady. back to work monday

[BAPearl]

Originally Posted by lotusflames

well, i've been.

we talked about how i dont really care what label they stick on it, what i care about is that i can't function right now and it's not been getting any better over the past 18 months since i totally crashed and how i can't keep up with my "all over the place" moods anymore.

she knew before i went in what she was gonna do! put me on lithium pending a blood test

Thank you, lotusflames, for posting back and letting us know how your appointment with your pdoc went. I can really relate to your feelings of crashing and not being able to "keep up with [your] 'all over the place' moods anymore." I have had the same "crashing" experience, and I also shared your sense of hopelessness in believing things would not get better and not being so sure I cared if they did. I hope you do not mind me reaching out and giving you a hug. I just want you to know that, despite my feelings of hopelessness and despair, things did get better for me. It took awhile, but between talking about my feelings and some medication changes, I did begin to feel good and to care about living again.

Lotusflames, I am wondering if there is one thing, be that work or a hobby or a friend or Psych Central, that you can grab onto as something to look forward to each day until you regain your desire for life again ~ and I am believing you will regain the will to live and to live fully. You deserve to have a full and great life, lotusflames! Thank you again for sharing yourself with us! You really do matter!

[lotusflames]

i picked up the lithium today. for hours i've struggled with the old "I want to take everything" cos i now have mirtazapine, seroquel and lithium. but i didn;t.

i usually have work but i'm not back til monday (holiday for last 3 weeks). my hubby works away now after a year of him being home and i hate being home alone.

[sugahorse1]

I'm glad you went. I personally chickened out of a T app yesterday and think I'm really regretting it.
I think the most important thing to remember is that those professionals are there to help you. Getting appointments is hard enough - now it's up to us to stick to them

I hope the lithium works out for you.

[lotusflames]

cant do anything with it til the blood test results come back. seems to be taking forever. i'll ring on tuesday i guess. but all these blood tests means i'm gonna have to keep missing a bit of time at work most likely. they're not gonna like that.

Hello, lotusflames. I hope you get it all sorted for the best.

[beggin for help]

Originally Posted by lotusflames

I have an appointment with the pdoc at 3pm (it's 2.20pm) and i dont wanna go. why do i fight to get the appointments if i know they aren't gonna do anything to help?

Because you are hanging on to the hope that someday you will find something that helps. And hope is what keeps up alive, even if we are unhappy.