hurricane guilt

Here's one I haven't seen on here yet, although I admit to not reading every single posting on the subject:

We are bombarded with requests to help. Every TV show shows the Red Cross "1-800-HELP-NOW" across the bottom of the screen. The newspapers and local TV news give various methods of providing relief. Boxes are set up in stores to donate food and supplies.

Here's my deal: I lived through the 1993 Mississippi River floods and am still traumatized by it. Somehow my little enclave managed to stay dry, but a road 2 miles away that I often used as a shortcut home was under 9 feet of water (I'm not kidding; they put up a marker and you can still see the waterline on it). HIGHWAY RAMPS were underwater. I had friends in the situation you see on TV now, needing boat rescues and their houses up to their roofs in water, etc.

But I was THERE, and I could go sandbag, and I could DO something.

Now I live in Wisconsin. Packers football is the state religion, and Brett Favre is God. Brett's parents' house got wiped out by the hurricane. There was a story on the news last night about how the plane service he charters was taking rope and diapers and all sorts of stuff down there. They interviewed one guy who said, "Well, I can't go there myself, so I figured I'd do this instead." He donated three brand-new chainsaws, still in the box, and I forget what else.

This time, I can't do anything. I just got paid. I paid my rent and my car insurance. I have roughly $70 until the 15th. I have two meds that will need paying for ($30 total). My last tank of gas, which WILL BE my last tank of gas, given my cash condition, cost $31 for 9.3 gallons. I drive 250 miles a week just getting to and from my office, much less having to drive to assignments all over hell and gone. I have almost no food in the house, and I make way too much (still not enough, but too much) for food stamps or to utilize food pantries.

And then I see all this "HELP NOW" stuff all over the place, and geeze -- I can't even help my frickin' SELF, but seeing this everywhere makes me feel guilty for not being able to do anything. It's to the point I don't want to turn on the TV or read the paper (and I'm a journalist!), because I can't deal with it. It just makes me feel like a loser and a rotten person because I can't do anything when everybody else is.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Candy

I hear ya hon. I'm in the same boat. My company passed a memo around that many of our employees were affected, and not all of them have been found, and any money we donate will be matched by the company. But I'm not in a place to give, and that's hard to stomach. Our prayers however, are free. At least we can give those.

Candy, your post is very touching. Can you send positve vibes and a prayer? I consider that a huge effort for the victims. Having been through it, you know what they are going through.

please don't be hard on yourself...remember, we all are doing the best that we can. xoxoxo pat

Candy,

You're not a loser, you're human. We feel the same out here with limited funds and being thousands of miles away.

Try to remember that you have a generous spirit and you did help back in '93 when you were able to. Don't forget that you have that desire to help.......not everyone is like that!

What you can do? From an interview we listened to from a local Red Cross chapter (here in earthquake country) they said that for those w/o the ability to give money that donating time always helps. Sure it might feel like it isn't helping this particular disaster when you're learning CPR or volunteering to learn how to teach CPR, or giving blood, or answering the phones for them or whatever..........however helping an organisation like the Am. Red Cross supports national preparation for any future situations.

It is the one person who takes two hours out of their wknd or one evening a month that makes the difference.

They also suggested volunteering at the local food bank or clothing bank or any of these types of services in your community.

Perhaps it might not feel like what you are doing is directly helping Katrina victims but it is helping the larger ideal of people springing into action to help when disaster strikes.

((Candy)) we feel it too. Inky posted about volunteering the other week and that prompted us to go donate blood.......days before the hurricane struck. Can't do it again for 57 days so we'll just have to be creative with free time or making free time to go volunteer somewhere.

{{{{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}}}}} I understand. I can't afford to give, either, but like Rayna says, "prayers are free." Don't just pray for the victims, pray for those that are trying to help... you get the picture.

Oh... and don't listen to the news. Things aren't always what they seem, but then you know that, don't you? LOL

Hey, I listen to (and read, on here) all the media bashing, and it p*sses me off -- there are honest journalists out there who take the time to get both sides and give an honest, fair and neutral report. I consider myself to be one of them. So there. :-P

LOL Well, GOOD FOR YOU! You're one in a million! I thought so before you told me, too. LOL

Candy I totally agree with your first post here... I too feel the same way and have been so FULL of shame and guilt for not being able to help....ugh I have been just trying to get myself through my own lifes struggles then I feel selfish because I am thinking of myself and not them...ugh feel like a loser BIG time...

Great thread and great posting. Candybear, send your love and be kind to everyone you can in your own-now life, including the one you see in the mirror.

Don't allow other's to put guilt upon you, don't accept it. Be thankful that God has spared us this time. Take care of your children and yourself, so that you can help some time in the future. We are a rich country and many will give more than will be spent on the victims. Quit watching so much tv and refresh yourself. Those who are not well mentally, esp those of us who have already been traumatized, cannot expect to follow along the rest of the world's ideas of help. Send good wishes to them... and good energy.