Need to feel cared for

I wasn't sure where to put this so sorry if it is in the wrong place...

I am am 19 year old college student and I'm home on holiday break. Before I went home I was having issues with not being cared for, and it seems like it has just intensified since I came home. I have always been in the position of helping my mother, having her confide in me, etc. But right now it feels like too much. Last time this year was the hardest time of year for me and it led to an episode of depression that continued to affect me when I got back to classes.

I am bulimic, self-injure, and have a dissociative disorder. I am very worried about these things coming up again because of everything that is going on. My younger sister is having problems at school and with her friends and my parents don't know how to handle it.

I have a therapist and I will be in touch with her over my break (which is three weeks long) but this uncared for feeling seems like it is so generalized. I don't feel like I am getting enough support from family, friends, and even though I have a great therapist things just seem missing and I don't feel like I am getting enough of what I need.

I'm not sure what I am asking here. Just needed to talk, I guess. Having some trouble with self-care and dealing with being at home all this time. Would love to hear from anyone.

Iam sorry you going with these issues I can relate to being home all the time I havent been out the house in three months now cause my anxiety is so severe thats it causes me too stay in now .Yeah I feel the same way that family dont support me at all they just be like yeah yeah I know how you feel.big huggs hope your doctor can help you.

Most people dont realize how serious anxiety and other mental disorders can be, especially people who have never really felt the utter horror of a panic attack. In my opinion (and im no doctor or anything...) I'd say the best possible thing you can do to deal with this feeling of not having support is to talk with your family. DONT talk to them about how they havent been supporting you, talk to them about what your feeling, clue them in to your situation so they can empathize with you a bit. I've been dealing with extreme anxiety for quite a few years now, and I can say with complete confidence that I didnt even start REALLY getting better until I broke the social barrier and started telling my family everything.
You might have already done this, and if so then your already way further ahead of where I was when I started out. It took me 2 years of diagnosing and explaining everything to myself to finally realize that I NEED other people to get better. Your family and friends and the love connection between is your greatest tool, dont let yourself ignore that.

I cant pretend that I've been through what your going through, or that I know what its like to be in your shoes, but i'm sure it must be really tough. Charles Lindon is a dude that wrote a book on curing anxiety, and he talked about how anxiety is like an endless cycle, you get symptoms that your afraid of, you go through hell as the symptoms last. Eventually the symptoms subside (because they are only a creation of your mind, and not real in any way) but we are afraid that anything we might do could bring those things back, and it's that fear that brings the symptoms back...

It took me a while to realize that all of it is it's own creation, so to speak. If I didnt feel anxiety, i'd never be afraid to feel anxiety. If I was never afraid of having anxiety, it would never come back. Again, I cant pretend I know what your going through, so this might or might not work, but try comprehending being normal, even for just a second. Ask yourself, "what would I be doing/thinking/feeling if I was completely normal again?"

Really think about what you come up with and try to realize that if you know what it's like to be "normal", then you can be normal. If you something about you is wrong, that means something in you also knows whats right. To me it seems like this is your problem when it comes to feeling uncared for. If you didnt have anxiety, would you really spend as much mental energy as you do thinking of how little support your getting? If you didnt care that you were uncared for and you were perfectly fine with being on your own, would you have such a huge amount of stress?

I feel a strong urge to put one more disclaimer in my post and say, once again, that i'm not a doctor, i'm not an omniscient presence that knows all, sees all. I'm only relaying my own lessons, that I learned going through my own mental trials. I could be as wrong as Obama for president, or I may well have hit the nail right on the head. Regardless, I hope you continue using this site, and find what you need to transcend.

And i hope I'm there, when you do transcend (^_^) So I can catch some of the light radiating from you. --treasure planet... kinda--

Hello, Catlovers141. Perhaps it would be beneficial if you printed your post for your therapist?

{{{{ Catlovers}}}} i hear that early intervention is key to a quick recovery, so don't wait to see if you just "get over it",, , do something, anything,, try acupuncture, or hypnosis, or aroma therapy, or talking to your family, or a counselor,, but do something~!! Wishing you the Best~~ Gus

Hi, Catlovers. I hate those vague or diffuse feelings. Were I you, I would think of some things that would make me feel more cared for or more of anything I wanted but which didn't specifically depend on others. Or, if I wanted better care from others, I would think of ways to ask them specifically for it ("Mom, I would love it if you made some of your great mac and cheese like you use to feed us when we were little."). Other people have their own problems and often don't notice to help us with ours unless we specifically let them know we're hurting and could use some help.

We get so good at covering up and appearing "fine" and then complain that no one sees through our act. Well, "limp" a little and ask your mother or father to do something simple to "baby" you? Maybe return the favor too; they need care just as much as you do; can you remember any good little stories from your childhood you can recount, get everyone laughing or remembering good stories of their own?

Help out with your sister if you can, that will make you feel better, you're closer to her age and experiences and might be able to think of something that would show her that you are there and care about her?

Hi Catlovers141,

I just wanted to acknowledge your need. You certainly deserve to be cared about and nurtured. You shouldn't have to be mothering your mother either or taking on family problems. College and depression are stressful enough. I hope that you can find healthy sources of support over the school break. I went to an alanon meeting yesterday and found others who like me were depressed and alone for the holidays. There was support there. I see you're in Mass. I'm in Western Mass. Best wishes.

Thank you for your reply. I'm in western Mass too!

Oh yes anxiety is very serious and it tough feeling like you are dying and tense and worrying all the time Iam so glad that you said that cause my family members dont know how serious it is they be laughing saying girl please anxiety is in your head not true .