ok i am simon you know me as mellors, i have a problem,my frinds ghost's son is living with is mother, against his will,imo, he lived with me for the lasrt 6 years , and there is nothing anyone can do do help me because he made a choice, i think he made a destruction in his chioce, i phone him every day, but it makes me worthless without him , and i talk to him every day without faill, and it makes my herat hake (sp), , my problem is i if it was up to me my son would be living with me now , but that is not the case , i have given my son the choice to choose what he want to do, is it the riight choice, of do you dis agree, please help, any comments wil be helpfull.

[SeptemberMorn]

Mellors, it has to be extremely painful for you, but yes, I do think you made the right choice. Your son will find out for himself what kind of a woman his mother is. It may take some time, but I have no doubt he'll want to come back and live with his father.

In raising my step-son, I made the mistake of keeping him away from his birth mother. I can see that now in hindsight. He left our home as soon as he graduated from high school to go be with his birth mother and get to know who she is. He met a female, married and had two children. Now he feels trapped because with a family and a good job, he can't pull up stakes and come back home.

There are a whole lot of other "family" things, feelings, separation from is brothers that could have been avoided if I had allowed him to get to know his birth mother instead of trying to protect him from her.

All my best wishes to you, Mellors. My heart goes out to you.

[Ryan]

Mell, how old is your son? I'm not a parent so I don't have the right to offer advise here. However, I am terribly sorry that you're having troubles. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. Take care of yourself.

Ry

(((((((Mellors))))))))
I could feel your heartbreaking in your post. Like Ryan, I don't have kids so I can't offer any sound advice.
I hope you'll be okay. You're very strong in letting him go.

[Kathyanita]

Simon,
It sounds like you're behavior is in your son's absolute best interest, you act as a protective and invested father, and you accept the self-sacrifice and the pain to be able to keep yourself present in his life. Its not a lot of comfort when it hurts so bad, but please allow yourself some ease in the knowledge that your son surely feels your loving bond and is nurtured on that most of all.

[bebop]

there is really no right way to make that call hon. You did what you thought best for your son. He will find out the kind of woman he is with now and come back to you. I don't know how old your son is but hang in there. We are all here for you. I wish you all the best life has to give. It is great you talk to him every day. How often do you get to see him?

[SeptemberMorn]

Mell, I'm concerned about you and the pain you are feeling. Now that my heart goes out to you and wish I could do something to make it better.

Try to take comfort in the fact that time is on your side. He's still quite young (7 is it?) and has the rest of his life to share with you. Surely, he feels the bond between the two of you. As painful as it is for you, the boy needs his mother, too. What she's doing isn't right, but children, for all their innocense, can sense the truth.

Hang tight, Sweetie. You have many people here that care for you and admire you. We all want to support you in your struggles.

Right now, you need to take care of YOU so that you can be there for your son later on.

simon.........if you need anything.......i'm here for you

[JustBen]

I can't even imagine how hard this must be, mellors.

even though this post directly affects me and my son, this is not about me, it is about my friend he is the one going threw this at this time not me, he asked me for my opinion and i said ask my friends, you are my friends, the feedback has helped my friend understand that there are others out there that help and understand, for that i am grateful, i will speak to you all soon as myself mellors, without the number, night all

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mellors}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you so much for checking in. Whether it's you or it's a friend, the situation is a very painful one. Our hearts go out to all concerned.