[Greenleaves]

Hi people, I feel like I have to talk about what happened to me when I ODed and ended up at the hospital. It's a long story.

I took an OD in an attempt to defer my midterms and I went to the urgent care clinic hoping to have symptoms so that I would get a doctor's note to get out of my midterms.

I cracked...I got scared and told the doctor that I took a lot of aspirin. The doctor was pretty calm about it. She had to step out for a minute. While waiting for her to come back, I got scared that I didn't have enough symptoms yet so I took even more aspirin.

Apparently, while she was out of the room, she had called the hospital ER. She then told me that I was going to go to the hospital and that they were expecting me!!! I refused. She then had to attend to other patients, but she had a nurse keep me in the room.

In less than 10 mins, the paramedics came!!! Now I was really really freaking out. I cowered in the corner in my chair and refused to go. They all said that I didn't have a choice, that I had to go. I couldn't move for a while, I just kept refusing, but then I realized that they would probably strap me down to the stretcher if I didn't go on my own.

So, I agreed to go, the doctor said it would be a quick trip to the hospital and that I would still make it home in time so my parents wouldn't know what happened to me....I later found out that she lied!

Ok, so I was super embarrassed to have two paramedics and a stretcher waiting for me. I didn't want to be led out by them through the clinic with all the people watching me. I made them take the stretcher back to the ambulance.

When the coast was semi clear (one paramedic stayed behind me), I walked calmly to the back of the ambulance. They took my vitals and hooked me up to an EKG and too my blood glucose.

This was all very scary for me. I'd never even seen the inside of an ambulance before.

I got to the hospital and was admitted into the ER. They made me take my sweater off and put on a gown. I wouldn't take my pants off though. They hooked me up to these monitors that measured my heart rate, respiration and blood pressure. They stuck me with this needle thingie and took my blood and left the thingie in my arm.

Then came the waiting...waiting for something to happen. All this time, my heart and respiration where increasing abnormally but I didn't notice because I was so scared, and I actually thought I was OK. At times my heart rate went above 140 beats/mins after just shifting position on the bed! The aspirin was definitely affecting me.

I got scared and realized that it was getting late and I didn't want my parents to find out what I had done. I decided to leave. I waited until the coast was clear. I ripped off the needle thingie in my arm. Good golly it was a bloody mess. The huge amount of ASA I took made the bleeding much worse.

I changed back into my clothes and walked out into the main ER hallway. A resident then stopped me and asked me what I was doing. I was a little confused and said I didn't know. She ordered me in an angry voice to go back to my bed.

Then I had to be hooked up to the monitors again. The nurse explained that my heart rate was very high and I needed to be monitored. I could feel that my heart was beating too fast and it was really scary. The nurse had to stick the needle thingie in my arm again.

I got worse and worse. My ASA levels were raising instead of falling. They gave me a sodium bicarbonate and potassium IV. My head was spinning and there was a constant loud ringing in my ears. I couldn't hear very well, I was going deaf. I felt nauseated, scared and just really bad. My heart and breathing were too fast.

At around 11pm, I finally knew that I had to call my parents. I wasn't coming home. I was so afraid of what was happening to me. I thought I was dying. I kept asking the doctors if I was dying and they didn't give me an answer...it was really scary.

I got a chest X-ray to check for pulmonary edema. I later found out that I would have had to be intubated if there was pulmonary edema...how scary is that?

I stayed overnight at the ER, slowly I got better, but I really thought I was going to die at times. I sort of remember when I was feeling really bad a nurse gave my sugar water via my IV and it lead to a weird warming sensation at my groin.

In the morning I was much much better. I thought I would be able to go home, but they had other plans...
The didn't take stop my sodium bicarbonate IV. Someone came with a wheelchair to transfer me to the internal medicine ward...but since that ward was full, they took me to the surgery ward instead. At first I didn't want to be wheeled in a wheelchair, I could walk perfectly fine, but then I found out that it is a hassle to walk with the IV machine...it was much easier to be wheeled.

I spent the next day in a room with an elderly lady who looked like she had a lot of problems. I was sort of embarrassed to be in a hospital. I was feeling fine. My nurse was another male nurse...he was young look, he looked about my age. He seemed sympathetic. It was odd, I thought, my ER nurse was male too. He was nice...but he threatened to restrain me and call a code on me if I tried to escape the ER again.

My vitals were taken every single hour! I felt really silly about this. The nurse saw me every hour. Even the elderly lady didn't have a nurse check up on her every hour!

I hadn't slept for 2 days at this point and that night I couldn't sleep. I felt a little giddy. I would walk really fast dragging behind the IV machine and find things really funny. I don't know what was up with me, I think I was losing my mind.

I had a lot of blood drawn...many times. I got so scared once that the nurse couldn't get any blood out...all that vasoconstriction. I was poked and re-poked. It was horrible. They even tried my feet.

I was finally given a clean bill of health, but that wasn't the end of my stay at the hospital...

To be continued.

(I have to go to bed now)

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

[tamzinrose]

Greenleaves...I feel so bad for you. Many, many *Superhugs* and muchly good vibes and I really hope you're feeling better soon. PM me anytime.

[Greenleaves]

...Continued

Anyways, I was given a clean bill of health, but they still wouldn't let me out of the hospital yet.

Two resident p-docs can to see me and later they brought this other p-doc with them. I tried really really hard to convince them that I should be let out, but they wouldn't let me out.

It was decided that I was to be locked up for 72 hours. I soooo didn't want to be locked up. I was upset. The p-doc ordered that my clothes be taken away and a nurse would "baby-sit" me because I was a flight risk.

When the nurse when away I decided to walk around in the hallways and I thought of escaping. The nurse found me and then I wasn't allowed out of my room anymore.

After a while I was transferred to the psych ward. It was really weird. One moment I was free, the next moment I was trapped.

I was scared and alone. There was nothing to do. It was really boring in there. I asked to be let out again and again. I kept pestering the nurses to find a lawyer for me.

It was so embarrassing for my family to see me in there. Everyone came to visit me. It was super embarrassing.

I couldn't sleep in there and they gave me some Ativan. I also sort of threw a bit of a tantrum in there. I crossed the "no cross line" because I was angry at being locked up. Then I threw some M&M's at the door. I was soooo frustrated at being locked up!

Anyways, I was finally let out after my time was up. I don't ever want to be locked up again!

[dexter]

This shows how different different hospital programs can be.

My stay was anything but boring. There was a lot of intensive treatment scheduled all throughout the day. The staff was all very caring and supportive.

Yes we were locked in but I knew I was there for my own well being so it was OK. Can't really speak objectively but it seems like visitors would be less put off visiting my hospital than in other places where I have visited friends. Some have that real creepy vibe, especially if you don't know much about mental illness. Where I was, while it still had all the "elements" of a psych ward (the locked doors, the rooms, etc) I think the overall atmosphere was more like a regular hospital.

If hospitalized I would definitely want to go there again.

Im with greenleaves. I never want to go back again. I didn't have the choice of keeping clothed in the ER what I refused to remove they took, and then body searched me and I was on the unit two weeks the first and second times and three weeks on the third because I punched a wall after being raped. you won't find me in another mental health unit. This is why I filled out my therapy agencys directives for mental health treatment forms. I wrote in there that I am not to be hospitalized if there were any other options available. and who my therapist and representatives are. If the hospital personnel dont accept my wish then legally they have no choice but to contact my representative and therapist. and both of those people know I don't want hospitalization and why and they agree that other options WILL be looked at before they recommend hospitalization for me. If the hospital wants to go against my wishes and my representatives wishes they have to go to court and the judge hears ALL sides and decides.

[Zen888]

Green

Sounds like you were crying out for someone to care for you. ODing isnt the way to do it next time you could end up dead. Just be straight up with ppl instead of abusing yourself.