Possible Hospital Stay/ Parents finding out

Hi....I don't get to post very often b/c I'm usually not on a computer where I feel safe enough to post but I read the post so I feel like I know everyone and feel safe enough to share this with you...

I started SI'ing about 5 months ago but these past 6 weeks have been really bad and on Monday my T agreed with me that my P'doc may want me to go into the hospital for a stay....I go see my P'doc on Wed....I don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure that's what she is going to want and I am freaking out b/c that will mean that my family/parents are going to find out. I'm an adult but currently living with my parents so there's no way around telling them and it's not like I can disappear for a couple of days without them knowing even if I was on my own....I feel like they are going to freak out and be really angry and hurt....I am such a people pleaser especially with my parents that it is killing me to know that I may hurt my parents and my anxiety is going thru the roof. I am ashamed of what I have been doing even though I know there is nothing to be ashamed of....My Parents know about my depression but they have no clue as to what kind of thoughts or things I go thru b/c I hide really well....they think I am doing really good....I have a new job that I love and everything should be great but it isn't.....they are going to be shocked for one that I'm not doing good then I throw on them that I'm SI'ing and possibly going back to the hospital.....I am just completly freaked out about this...I don't know what to do.

I really just needed a place to vent... some people I've told IRL say that my parents will probably be real understanding but I fear the worst...I've seen my dads reaction to mild things way to many times and it's always been anger and lectures....I just would rather not go thru this but I'm afraid I can't escape it....I could stop SI'ing and trust me I'm trying but I'm so anxious right now it's really hard.....Have any of you had problems telling your family....or what were their reactions.....My family thinks I'm the perfect little "christian" girl......I'm afraid I'm about to burst that bubble...

Well If you are still reading this I appreciate you taking time to listen to me vent........This may sound stupid but it's just what I'm going thru right now

Your parents will still love you and I think they would find out anyhow so I hope you tell them..Even perfect little christian girls have problems...HUGS

(((((((((((green))))))))))))) i wish you well on that and understanding from your parents. i agree with sleeps too.

gl! let us know, ok?

I'm sure your family will be surprised, but I'll bet they also want what's best for you. They'll get over it.

Thanks for the support everyone......some people keep telling me the same thing, that they'll be understanding and will want what's best for me a part of me knows thats true and the other part fears the worst....I guess I need to stop focussing on the negative but its just so hard when you think you know your families reactions very well........maybe it's my reaction that I'm really scared of.....just not being able to deal with how they handle it...........Hope all of you are right and that everything will turn out okay....

your not being stupid by writing a vent. If you would like a suggestion I have one that worked for me. I made plans to "stay with a friend for 2 weeks. " being in college my parents didn't know all my friends. Hope everything works out for you.

Thanks myself that would work if only I had a friend I could go stay with for starters then do it without it seeming completely strange to my parents.....they know all my friends all my friends have families at least the ones I live around that I would be able to stay with so that makes it impossible to stay with them.....besides even when I was in college I tried going into the hospital without telling my parents....but it didn't work b/c me and my mom talk everyday....when I didn't answer my phone all day or call her back she started calling around and finally found out.....she was furious.............so I don't think I'll do that to them again.....but thanks for the suggestion......I have thought about it as well

(((((((((((((green))))))))))))))) It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your parents. I am sorry that you are struggling so hard to not alter that relationship right now. It is kind of you to try and protect them like you are. Sometimes it is better to let those we love help us through the hard times. I am sure their reactions will be out of love and them trying to help the best they know how. Try and see it in the love they are expressing. I wish you the best in your decision.