I'm back... where's Wants2fly??? Bad hurricane, bad bad hurricane!

(((sleeps)))) thank you! At first I thought it would be selfish to repost/rethread this.. but then I was like WAIT A MINUTE! I just survived a direct hit of a hurricane I can be allowed this! lol how silly of me to second guess myself in this!

((dottie))) yep. the wind sound is horrifying..and reminiscent of Andrew and all multi-hit tornado sounds! Actually, I will share... around midnight I think it was, that Sunday night... I was quite afraid... I took a double dose of pain meds, my sleep med, and a glass of cognac!!!! OH! I went to sleep thinking if I die at least I won't "know" any further pain in doing so.. and was running the song Keep me Safe till the storm passes by... in my head.

did I forget your hugs??? (((ozzie))))

Thanks (((((((((((Sky))))))))))))

Hi Sky.

So glad that you are ok. What a clean-up huh? Phew. Sorry about your Mahogany & Oak trees tho.I grew up in S. Florida (Opa-locka)How's that for a name? LOL

I believe that most of the homes (older) were the Cement block kind. Those big blocks usually made me feel pretty safe.
We only lost a couple of paper trees during Hurricane cleo.

Wasn't the bldg code, so many years ago..that you had to have only cement block homes built in Hurricane zones? I may be wrong. LOL!

I was in S. Carolina when Hurricane Hugo hit. That storm spawned off more tornadoes. It sounded like their was a giant can opener trying to take off the roof. Thankfully..we only lost some shingles. Almost everyone else sustained incredible damage. it was spooky to see my place just sitting there practically unscathed.

Again...It's nice to see you back on the forum again!!!!

TGC

grrr I just lost a big reply and update. I'll try again later. grrrrrrrrr

dang it! I HATE when that happens

<font color="blue">Ok. I’m trying this another way. . . Since I lost the post after trying my best to explain some more stuff going on.

Sigh. I was going to try and post some pics of the area.. Not up to that yet.. Might miss some as they are going to begin debris pick up…

Right after the hurricane, only 16 traffic signals worked… out of how many thousand? People didn’t bother to stop.. Or were in such a daze they didn’t see an intersection? Ppl like that shouldn’t be out driving! (and now they are working?) Four way stopping is called for, but I even saw a cop roll on through an intersection where others were waiting their turn..

The shelters are closing. The very few that were opened, that is. For a few million ppl who needed to evacuate, only a few thousand were able to find a Red Cross shelter.. And now they are closing them, slowly (many are in schools.) The ARC made no back up plans for alternate shelters , long term. The people are out on the street. Others need a shelter now after the storm. . . As their apartment complexes are being condemned (unsafe)… and there is no shelter for them to live in. Their stuff is piled on the sidewalks, also out on the street. Mind you, these are not the homeless, poor, ignorant etc… everyone becomes the same after a storm. It could be you or me… wait … in Andrew it WAS me! All the money in the world won’t help if there’s nothing to buy. ANYWAY the ARC says they will open more shelters IF they see a need. HUH? Someone buy them glasses!

The churches and the Salvation Army continue to feed in mass feedings. FEMA has dropped the ball, as usual the “government” can’t handle this type of thing and appears to be incapable of learning. You must have 3 days of survival supplies and mentality for any crisis… where you can live all by yourself safely… don’t rely upon anyone or anything…. I planned for 2 weeks and was doing ok…. (But I am seriously considering buying a whole-house backup generator.)

I have just found out that my church is damaged. (Coral Ridge Presbyterian in FT Lauderdale.) I can’t go see; I can’t handle that thought, even. They called and left a message. I can’t imagine the members are all being called with information.. I mean, the church has thousands of members! I appreciated the message.. A real person, too, not automated. Sigh. I’m guessing God is giving them the wherewithal to do this?

Oh, the ice that companies make these days doesn’t last. “You would think” that if they are going to give out ice that is for survival, they would make it like they used to …so it lasts a few days? Not, guess it’s cheaper to make it nearly hollow on either end… still fills the bag .. But you need more of it more often and pay more?

Oh… two of the companies that FEMA used to supply and distribute water… well the water is contaminated! Now, how are ppl who are living without power and now without batteries if they had them in the first place… how are they, who spent days in line for basic help.. Supposed to know the water the government handed out might kill them, or make them very, very sick????

There’s more… I post so maybe YOU will be more prepared when disaster hits you… it seems everyone gets hit by something.

TC

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Oh… two of the companies that FEMA used to supply and distribute water… well the water is contaminated! Now, how are ppl who are living without power and now without batteries if they had them in the first place… how are they, who spent days in line for basic help.. Supposed to know the water the government handed out might kill them, or make them very, very sick????

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> That really is a scary thought! I'm sitting here wondering which bottled water is bad. I drink bottled water all the time because our tap water smells so bad.

Are you still needing the water and ice?

No, I'm ok with water.. and with power, I have my ice packs Um I know one name was Nirvana out of .. Delray Beach? Or? I forget. There are many many ppl without power yet (nearly half million ppl) and that means no potable water for them, either as the water treatment plants in those areas are also without power...usually. by now though, any damaged housing probably has had their water shut off, so the water pressure for other homes is better and they might be able to flush their toilets again

OK DO I NEED TO SAY I NEED SUPPORT ?????? sigh. sorry. I'm trying to cope NO I AM coping as best I can. MIAMI needed the win by the Miami Hurricanes last night... yet some here would deny me any bright cloud in the SKY. We got our win, but thanks to a few members here, I'm having trouble enjoying it, because my enjoyment of the game was trouncing their feelings of losing or something? I haven't been on here whining. I will. Is that what I'm supposed to do, to receive their support? OK

Some of the plants I lost had been from my dad's nursery. Did I whine about losing them to the hurricane? They are gone. So is he.
I lost everything to Hurricane Andrew already... victimization by mother nature.. watching it happen to others retraumatizes me. I don't even recall what I went through with Wilma... but I have 3 new wrinkles in my brow from it. Have I whined about that? (they are very distinctive too... as they angle in from the upper "corners' of my face down towards my nose. What kind of fear causes that?

I can't even think about the storm. I tried to enjoy a simple football game... and got blasted for that. It's tough to live when your efforts are put down because others are eager to lash out and throw eggs at you.

Yeah, now I'm whining. I've tried to go to the support chat room for support... and ppl left before I really said anything. I've followed them to another room, where they went to AND? they left again. I haven't hardly shared anything of my feelings on this.. except this thread... and thats more of "facts" of stuff going on. I 've gone back to the chat room and end up giving support to others.. who have no idea of my own struggles right now. That isnt their "fault" but it doesn't help me.

I appreciate those of you who have given me support.. and care and prayers. You know who you are and you are gems to me. Thanks. I'm sorry if this seems as though I am acting out. ... my God, I could have died .... again.... or worse... I could have been hurt more.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SKY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry for all of your losses. It's just a plain downer..is all. Especially losing your Dad's plants.

We are having Hurricane -like weather here near eastern Lake Erie. We've had 80 mph winds this morning. Sure glad I didn't
have to go out in it. Feal bad 4 the folks that did!

I am sorry you could not get anyone to chat with you. What a world this is.



TGC xxoo

Sky I haven't seen any of the football threads (I'm not into sports) so I didn't see what happened.

One thing that is very difficult about being here is how we effect others... but almost ANYTHING we post has potential of triggering another. People also have to take some responsibility for their own fears and their own safety in reading and interpreting threads. Otherwise no one would be allowed to post anything about anything.

Unless something I am unaware of occured, I can't imagine that finding a little pleasure out of a winning sports team should be hurtful to others, as long as there is no taunting or bad sportsmanship involved. I think sports is clearly a "distraction" that deserves a place here and some fair, light discussion. As I said, anything we post can potentially be a trigger to someone. But it is not a topic like religion or politics that carries potentially deep beliefs that are easily disturbed and that some of us find important to our healing and so should be kept safe, even if that means not discussing them publically.

I don't know... I'm rambling... I guess I'm just saying I think that you should be able to feel good about your team winning... that's what sports is all about... one team wins and one team loses... even regardless of your other troubles. Considering other recent events, I think it is great for you to have something to focus on that can give you even a moment of distraction or joy.

Anyway for the more important stuff... I hope you are doing well surviving the aftermath of the hurricane, both physically and emotionally, and I hope that everyone in your area received the PROPER support that they need from the local and national agencies, for help in rebuilding their lives.

Sky, I believe it will take a lot of time and a lot of support to overcome the emotional damage to the hurricane. I'm sure there are local groups that can help. I'm hoping this group where you've been a member for so long will also help. I hope you will continue to talk about it as much as you need to in order to heal.

It must have felt like a last straw to lose something of your Dad's to the hurricane. I remember when a small cactus my Dad bought me died.......years after he did. I felt so very sad remembering the day he bought it for me.

I'm very interested to hear about the clean up that is going on there. I know you lost four large trees and that will be a really big deal having them removed.

I hope you know I care and am listening.

Wow Sky,

I haven't been here much lately other than poking my nose in once it a while. It is really understandable how much you are effected by these hurricanes. It's not like there is one & it is over & you can work through those issues, but it is something that continues to happen time after time each year......different hurtful things happen each time....just adding on top of the initial experience.

I can only imagine what you go through since I have only experienced "hurricane force winds" several times in my life. When I was 5 & in Kansas where all the tornadoes kept hitting, there was one night where the storm sounded so bad I looked out the apartment window to see the rain horizontal to the window. The sirens went off & all I remember was my grandfather having his raincoat around me & walking outside to the basement. The garbage cans that were lowered into the ground were floating above the ground. When we got to the basement, it was flooded & everyone in the apartment complex were huddling together to keep warm even though it was summer. At that age, I had no idea as to what was going on....& nothing at that time seemed to be damaged after that storm. Another summer I was there 1 week after a tornado went through Topeka from one end to the other with total destruction left. All I knew about that one was that everyone said that it sounded like a thousand freight trains were running over the city. Luckily my grandparents were just out of the path...but heard it coming then watched it change direction. The destruction was very similar to your description of the hurricane except the amount of water.

I never thought that the Antelope Valley would ever experience anything other than our earthquakes but we actually had a hurrican force wind come through a couple of years ago. I had just come home from the ranch & was standing under the garage door watching the rain come. All of a sudden, the rain was horizontal to the ground & the wind was even worse than our normal wind stormes. Our housing track had at least 1 tree down for every house. We lost several trees in the back yard & one of ours took out our neighbors roof. Then it comes to the insurance coverage & it doesn't cover because it is "an act of God". Why in the world is insurance religious....lol.

I am so sorry you have to go through these experiences so many times each year.....it doesn't even give you a chance to get through one before another one hits you again. Your description is so descriptive that it is just like living through it ourselves without the actual experience. I can really understand your feelings......also t he fact that is seems hard to post the things that are bothering you each time it does it.....even though it is quite reasonable for the need of support through these rough times. I am glad you are posting your feelings....it is good to get them out & expressed. Sometimes it gives at least a little relief I hope. You should never feel bad about the need to post your feelings......when you need support, you need it.....& we are here to hopefully help you through this rough time.

I have also had the time where I entered chat after going through situations that I really need support with.....& even when I say something, it gets lost in the other chatting. I continue hurting, but get sidetracked in the chats.....when it is all over, I feel as crappy as I did before.

If ever you need a little more than posting, PM's are something I make time for even when I am not in here. I hope you are doing a little better now, but knowing how flashbacks & reoccuring thoughts haunt. I hope your companion puppy is being companion to you during these times. I know that having my dogs close when I am having a hard time......makes a lot of difference. I am glad you have a T that has gone through the same experiences as you.....it helps them understand the PTSD aspects of the situation. Guess that is why not many understand my situation.....they look at it initially as just someone stealing something.....until they look at all the other things that happened.....but I hate it when my feelings get trivialized.....know you must be going through some ot that also.

Take care of yourself.....I care,
Debbie

Ty ((dottie))) (((dex)))) (((ozzie))) (((eskie))) I showed my T the new creases on my forehead and asked him, what kind of fear causes that ??? He said I answered my own question.

Sky up here they say NOTHING on FL and the effects but go on and on about New Orleans I dont think a lot of people know how bad it is down there..I feel bad for all of you..Mostly right now I feel saddest for the fact you lost dad's plants..I am a sentimental fool and know I would be crused...you may be able to use some of the roots..or have a neighbor do it or ? I know on friends and family so I dunno but sometimes a cutting can help......Salvation Army should run this country they seem to always be on the ball...bless you and all those who are going throght this and worse...the water gig makes me sad too...(((( SKY )))))

ty (((sleeps))) I think I am saving a rose bush. You can't take a clipping as it will grow into a different plant as the root it was grafted/grew on... But it seems to want to live??? It was in his nursery nearly 20 years ago now that I think of it... I had planted it at the house that was destroyed by Andrew... (we'd fixed that house but I couldn't live there and we sold it to my dad and mom since they, too had lost their home...) and I moved it to the neighbor's house I bought and rebuilt ...and then kept it in a pot in an apartment...and then planted it at the house I had built in Kendall.. and then moved it (basic root system, you know...) to this house when I had this one built... certainly IT will survive, right?

There are still nearly a quarter million ppl without power in the 4 counties.. and several hundred traffic signals still out (think 4 way stop for everyone who is trying to go anywhere.. work, doctors.. stores...) and how dangerous unlit intersections are at night (when some ppl are in the habit of stopping and some are not?)

I'm just trashed due to the storm itself. I was disabled in a thunderstorm (surely I've said this too many times now???) Today, again, as I drove south to T's... there were dark clouds in a band across the sky... and again I'm telling myself.. this isn't a storm this isn't a huricane... then my T talks about exposure therapy ( I guess he is reading here????) grrrrrr ok fine I'll expose myself to the next storm as I jump from a balcony. No, I didn't say that did I? well???? I well up, tears flow... just thinking about thunderstorms... whatever! T says no more for this year (oh?) But who can think for next? HA! there's a storm in the gulf with the airstream pouring in from us... yet the weathermen stand IN FRONT of that when they show the weather.. ok I KNOW I'm off the deep end here... but this is where cognitive isnt fixing the emotional yet!