What do you think when people are judgmental?

Personally. It drives me up the wall.

I hate it. Do they not realize that the person with the problem already has enough shame and guilt?

Of course, being judgmental might have it's place when a person is trying to take advantage of someone's empathetic nature/approach.

What do you think?

I dont like it. But, as humans we have been on both ends of judgment at some point. I think some people dont know any better. Im in a mindfulness and DBT group and have become more aware of my own judgments of myself and others. I am more sensitive to what and how people say things now that Im in the group. It is very annoying to hear people judge others.

There's no personal harm in making a judgment, imo. We do that all day long.

Being judgmental implies comparison of something (someone?) with others, or a norm, or worse, to his own self only.

How we respond to someone else's issues reflects upon us.

If I were to become angry at someone else for their "being judgmental" well, that would put me in the same boat as them: being judgmental of their response thus, being judgmental!

What someone else thinks about others is none of my business.
What someone thinks of me is is also none of my business.
What I need to concern myself with is how I respond, how I act, how I think, and what I say. Believe me, that keeps me very busy!

The irony.

I agree.

Because some people suck?

Honestly, it's often how they percieve us, not how we really are.

I realized some people don't "get" me. I tend to be pretty snarky and well... dada, but underneath it I am pretty serious. I realized that sometimes we build a certain act/facade to test people, to see if they are worthy and if they will look underneath it.

I often don't look under snarky facades. Simply because I can't tell a facade from a person who is really mean & would emotionally hurt me. So, if they look like they are mean, then I stay away.

Self protection you see. =l

I am not being mean. Just cynical. Snarky. I have dark humor. It's plenty cultural (and you could make a study on czech geopolitical toughness, which differs from region to region). I am a philosophy book, not a Chicken Soup for Soul.

Self protection is a nice thing, but you still need to look deeper. Some people are sacharine sweet on surface, but you don't want to ever discover what lies underneath.

Oh so Snarky means cynical?

Hm.

Thank you for clarifying that.

I also think that I might learn to look deeper into people. Might take a while though to figure it out.

Wait, I'm getting a different answer from dictionary.com:

snark·y   
[snahr-kee] Show IPA
–adjective, snark·i·er, snark·i·est. Chiefly British Slang .
testy or irritable; short.

World English Dictionary
snarky (ˈsnɒːkɪ)

— adj , snarkier , snarkiest
informal unpleasant and scornful

[C20: from sarcastic + nasty ]

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/snarky

when i point the index finger at someone else i am pointing 3 fingers back at myself.

I think our thoughts and feelings about a person in our lives who says something judgmental says a lot about ourselves and how we feel about that person.

A stranger or mere acquaintance saying something judgment is different from a good friend is different from a loved one is different from. . . The fact that the same thing might have been said by different people, but the thoughts/feelings change, mean I'm the one thinking/feeling and making interpretations, being judgmental of what is said to me not the person saying any particular thing.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Lazarus2.html

Meh, English is not my native language. I do have spikes though

Oxford dictionary says: sharply critical:snarky remarks

I don't entirely agree; sometimes just forming a particular opinion or making a particular judgment has to imply some further, unstated conclusion/inference or why make the observation out loud?

To me, "She's overweight" is only needed when a doctor/nutritionist/dietitian/cook is asked why another person is on a diet? "He's good-looking" implies one likes the person's looks, "She dresses well" that the person stating that likes the other person's style. That no added on conclusions are added, that I don't state that I'm going to jump the good-looking guy's bones (or am telling you because I think you might like to) doesn't mean I'm not being judgmental.

I may be being judgmental about this particular word but I think judgmental is usually perceived as a negative judgment. If I say, "She's overweight and that's good; all women should be slightly overweight", people might agree or disagree with my judgment but I don't think they would find me judgmental?

It depends on what you're referring to with the word judgmental, when it comes from a "greater than thou" type of attitude and is intended to demean or belittle that's a world away from the internal judgments we all make about others on a daily basis. I still believe in the whole...if you can't say something nice...mindframe. Obviously, with people we are close too, we sometimes need to share personal opinions that are not so nice, but the spirit the comments come from dictate how it is perceived.

I think a major difference between exercising judgment and being judgmental lies in how much information you collect before coming to a judgment, and how willing you are to re-evaluate that judgment if you learn something new. Many people make snap judgments based on very superficial things and are then unwilling to change their minds. Those are the people I would call judgmental.

And I think judgmental people are jerks, and probably very insecure in their own beliefs deep down.

That is SO true. Over-sweetness bothers me much more than a bit of snarkiness. In my experience it's rare that a snarky, difficult person becomes worse as you get to know them better. In fact, they often mellow out and relax once they realize they don't need to be on the defensive with me. But overly-nice people are too often either deeply insecure or hiding dark intentions under all the niceness.

I do know some genuinely sweet people, like my husband, but there's a whole different feel to their kindness, if that makes any sense at all. They're much more laid back and natural about it, I think.

Eh, that was kind of off-topic, lol. Oh well.

A lot of judgments on judgments, even some judgmental ones.

We had been given brains to think, even to make judgements.

I am not gonna pretend I am not judging anyone. But I don't judge them for being merely different... but I have my moral compass... some things are just no-no to me and I don't think that many here would argue with that.

Yep, it's the Holier-Than-Thou criticisms that get to me the most.

There's a lot of difference between sweetness and compassion. IMO. Also, some things are better left unsaid. Who are we to decide what is best for another? For me it comes down to the intention, are they trying to hurt or to help?

Agreed.

"There, but for the grace of God, goes God." -- attributed to Churchill commenting on Sir Stafford Cripps

Ditto on that agreed!

I think that I am doing or saying something wrong, and I think that whatever they`re think, either right or wrong, good or bad, is probably right or they have good reason to think that, but I`m very paranoid.

great question by the way!!!!

The way I see it, everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it is not done purposely to hurt others.

We all make judgements, whether that is just choosing on tea or coffee, making those choices and decisions is part of who we are and our personality.

One of my best friend's is quite opinionated but I love her for it because it shows she has a strong personality and sticks to her truth.

The trouble with judgements come when they are just plain nasty and then we have to look on it as it being about the person that said it.