[Mac Murphy]

I'm trying to figure out what it means to be normal. None of my friends really understand what I struggle with on a daily basis. My wife tries so hard to have and open mind and wants to understand but she doesn't really get it. Even though I was diagnosed with BP I well into my adulthood the symptoms have been there since my mid to late teens.

The only normal I know is having this illness. I don't understand what it means to be 'normal.' Does anyone else struggle with this? What is normal to you?

[Leed]

I'm not completely sure myself. But from what I understand, it's being able to cope on a daily basis with life's problems & joys. It's not over-reacting to the little things that bother us; it's not getting depressed over the problems that people deal with daily or even occasional basis. It's coping with the crises that we all have to deal with in life. That's what I think "normal" is. But I suffer from depression, so I'm not sure. LOL It's being handled quite well right now, but I never know when I'm gonna "slip" into a deep dark hole. lol

I hope this answers your question. I'm sure someone else will chime in if I'm wrong. Hugs, Lee

Problem or Illness?

Mental Health: A Report of the Surgeon General notes that mental health and mental illness are not mutually exclusive categories but are points on a continuum ranging from positive mental health through mental health problems to mental illnesses. 7 The report
defines these constructs as follows:

Mental health—a state of successful performance of mental function, resulting in productive activities, fulfilling relationships with other people, and the ability to adapt to change and cope with adversity.

Mental health problems—signs and symptoms of insufficient intensity or duration to meet the criteria for any mental disorder. Mental health problems may warrant active efforts in health promotion, prevention, and treatment.

Mental illnesses—all diagnosable mental disorders, ealth conditions characterized by alterations in thinking, mood, or behavior (or some combination thereof) associated with distress and/or impaired functioning.

Under these definitions, substance use might be classified as either a mental health problem or a mental illness, depending on its intensity, duration, and effects.

When this document makes note of “mental health and behavior problems,” the phrase applies to a spectrum of problematic behaviors, such as defiance, impulsivity, truancy, and aggression. Substance use also may be considered a problem behavior, although not all “problem behavior” necessarily refers to substance us and abuse. Within other contexts, the term “behavioral health” is used as an umbrella term that encompasses both mental health status and substance use and abuse. Consequently, in these contexts, “behavioral health problems” refer to difficulties that an individual may have in either or both of these areas.

http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content...SVP07-0186.pdf

Mental Health refers to a broad array of activities directly or indirectly related to the mental well-being component included in the WHO's definition of health: "A state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease". It is related to the promotion of well-being, the prevention of mental disorders, and the treatment and rehabilitation of people affected by mental disorders.

http://www.who.int/topics/mental_health/en/

Mental illness refers to a wide range of mental health conditions — disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior. Examples of mental illness include depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, eating disorders and addictive behaviors.

Many people have mental health concerns from time to time. But a mental health concern becomes a mental illness when signs and symptoms cause frequent stress and affect your ability to function. A mental illness can make you miserable and can cause problems in your daily life, such as at work or in relationships. In most cases, mental illness symptoms can be managed with a combination of medications and counseling (psychotherapy).

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/men...4/METHOD=print

DSM-IV TR

The standard abnormal psychology and psychiatry reference book in North America is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. The current version of the book is known as DSM IV-TR. It lists a set of disorders and provides detailed descriptions on what constitutes a disorder such as Major Depressive Disorder or anxiety disorder. It also gives general descriptions of how frequent the disorder occurs in the general population, whether it is more common in males or females and other such facts. The diagnostic process uses five dimensions called "axes" to ascertain symptoms and overall functioning of the individual. These axes are as follows

• Axis I – Symptom Disorders
• Axis II – Personality Disorders
• Axis III – General medical conditions
• Axis IV – Psychosocial/environmental problems
• Axis V – Global assessment of functioning (often referred to as GAF)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abnormal_psychology

Gallup scientists have been exploring the demands of a life well-lived since the mid-20th century. More recently, in partnership with leading economists, psychologists, and other acclaimed scientists, we began to explore the common elements of wellbeing that transcend countries and cultures.

In our initial research, we asked people what "the best possible future" for them would look like.

As part of this research, Gallup conducted a comprehensive global study of more than 150 countries, giving us a lens into the wellbeing of more than 98% of the world's population. From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, we asked hundreds of questions about health, wealth, relationships, jobs, and communities. We then compared these results to how people experience their days and evaluate their lives overall.

In our initial research, we asked people what "the best possible future" for them would look like. We found that when evaluating their lives, people often give disproportionate weight to income and health: Across the groups we surveyed, "good health" and "wealth" were two of the most common responses. Perhaps this is because these things are easy to measure and track over time -- we can monitor our height, weight, blood pressure, and household income. Yet we do not have a standard way to measure the quality of our careers or the health of our relationships.

So to construct a comprehensive measure of individual well-being, Gallup designed an assessment composed of the best questions we have asked over the last 50 years. To create this assessment, the Well-being Finder, we tested hundreds of questions across countries, languages, and vastly different life situations.

Upon completion of the research, five distinct statistical factors emerged. These are the universal elements of well-being that differentiate a thriving life from one spent suffering. They describe aspects of our lives that we can do something about and that are important to people in every situation we studied.

The elements

These elements are the currency of a life that matters. They do not include every nuance of what's important in life, but they do represent five broad categories that are essential to most people.

The first element is about how you occupy your time or simply liking what you do every day: your Career Well-being.

The second element is about having strong relationships and love in your life: your Social Well-being.

The third element is about effectively managing your economic life: your Financial Well-being.

The fourth element is about having good health and enough energy to get things done on a daily basis: your Physical Well-being.

The fifth element is about the sense of engagement you have with the area where you live: your Community Well-being.

While 66% of people are doing well in at least one of these areas, just 7% are thriving in all five. If we're struggling in any one of these domains, as most of us are, it damages our well-being and wears on our daily life. When we strengthen our well-being in any of these areas, we will have better days, months, and decades. But we're not getting the most out of our lives unless we're living effectively in all five.

Although these elements are universal across faiths, cultures, and nationalities, people take different paths to increasing their individual well-being. For many people, spirituality drives them in all these areas. Their faith is the most important facet of their lives, and it is the foundation of their daily efforts. For others, a deep mission, such as protecting the environment, inspires them each day. While the things that motivate us differ greatly from one person to the next, the outcomes do not.

There are many ways to create thriving Career, Social, Financial, Physical, and Community Well-being. Because these critical elements are within our control, we have the ability to improve them (for example, exercising, spending more time with friends, or using money wisely). However, the single biggest threat to our own well-being tends to be ourselves. Without even giving it much thought, we allow our short-term decisions to override what's best for our long-term well-being.

http://gmj.gallup.com/content/126884...?version=print
See also: http://www.uic.edu/depts/wellctr/dimen.shtml

Despite all that has been written about normal and abnormal about the best than can be said is that our understanding is evolving and without consensus.

Perhaps you might take your wife with you to a therapy session or visit with your psychiatrist. She might benefit from being able to ask some questions and thereby gain more insight?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/34046?page=3

[missbelle]

Leed I like what you wrote....Everyone's "normal" is different and we could go on and on about this one....but I think you have said it correctly. when we are stable, when we don't go off the deep end anytime something happens, when we are happy most of the time, ..........I know depression can color everything, and can interfere with our thinking but you said it right..its stability in light of difficulties and appropriate responses to situations.......we all kinda know when we feel that "normal.' Its kinda nice!!

[Mac Murphy]

I appreciate what you all are saying. I guess what I am really frustrated with is trying to cope with my own sense of normal. My actions, good or bad, are the only normal I seem to know. Does that make sense? Is it wrong for me to feel that my mania or depression is normal? Does anyone else feel that way?

Hello, Mac Murphy. I understand what you are saying. As you are aware, your "normal" becomes problematical when it adversely affects relationships and otherwise interferes with your ability to enjoy life.

[Leed]

Sure I FELT that way because that's all I KNEW. But I also knew that what I was feeling was NOT "normal" because it caused so much PAIN. And all the people I knew and had known didn't feel the pain that I felt. And all the people I saw on the street didn't LOOK like I looked ~ all "saddened and forlorn." I did enough reading on my problem to know that I was NOT what was considered "normal."

The trouble is when that's all we've felt all our lives, we perceive it to be normal but it's NOT. That's when we have to look for help -- so that we can achieve some semblance of normalcy. Even if we can only achieve Partial-normalcy, that's good!!! We've got to work to be the best person we can be. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

it seems to me, mac murphy, that you may allow your MI to define you. many of us have felt as you do now. in therapy i "found" me, not my MI, and worked on improving my perception of events, developed coping skills for what life brought me, and learned better ways of interacting with others. this helped create a balance in my life i had never had before.
the pay off was a more contented me. of course my BP sometimes nudges me and i take measures to counteract the impact. becoming "normal" -i hate that word-is chipping away at our hinderances and finding a place where we are comfortable in our own skin.
i don't believe there is any correct definition of normal tho. each of us has our own perception. what i do know is once i started tackling my challenges it revealed a more joyful life.
in your case i'd say start with hope...hope for new and better things to come. if you don't have hope yet, just start your journey anyway...the hope will come.
you can change your life for the better. willingness and perseverance come to mind. if it hadn't happened to me i would not tell you that.