[uwais]

hey, my parents are very very religious, and want me to be very religious aswell ,but forget me being religious i dont even believe in my religion which is Islam. my parents are total control freaks and try to control every thing i do even my social life. non of my good friends are even asian and are even islamic. my parents are racist and have very sterotypical views of english people. if my parents find out i hang around with "white people" (sorry for having to use this word), i'll get slaughtered. please help, im totally depressed, my house is like a jail to me.

[tinybabyrex]

<font color="blue"> how old are you hun?

do you live in the states?

i believe it is ok, to be differant from your parents...

however, if you are underage and living in their house, you should at least respect their rules....

you will not live in their home forever....

do you see anyone for your depression??

hang in there, i know it can be tough, generally our parents want what is best for us.

</font>

[uwais]

hey, im 17, im from United Kingdom, i live with my parents and i got to college, all my friends are non asian but my parents dont know this, even if i tell them they are asian, they are still suspicious that im hangin around with the wrong group. i also have stupid curfews like i have to be in bed by about 10:30 pm and im preventd from watching tv onwards of 10:30. i also get asked a load of questions if im going out with my friends which they dont know of, and they call me too many times whist i am out, like the last time i was watching a movies in the cinemas and my parents had given my 7 missed calls.

[uwais]

im not currently seeing anyone for depression, because i'll be seen as crazy if someone in my community finds out. ive also had thoughts of suicide as i do not see the point of living a life as im doing now.

[DaveyJones]

Hi, uwais,

It makes me sad to hear of the conflict with your parents. School is hard enough without having to deal with all that.

I grew up in the American South in the 50's and 60's, during the height of the Civil Rights movement here. Both my parents, and all their relatives hated black people. They weren't bad people, it is simply how they were raised. Your parents, like mine, were raised in a traditional society. They hate white people because it is how they were raised. I doubt they are truly bad people, they are, like all of us, products of their environment.

I am asking you to stop and think when you get angry with your parents to realize who they are and where they come from. In their own way, they are trying to protect you.

It's kind of the same with the curfew...yeah, 10:30 is pretty strict, but I have have a daughter your age, and her curfew is usually about then, though we do make exceptions for special occasions.

You'll be 18 soon, and I think you will find that your world will begin to change for you, if you will allow it. Spend the next few years focused on your education, it is the KEY to freedom for you and your loved ones.

As for the suicidal thoughts, you MUST talk to someone about that. If your parents won't take you to a therapist, perhaps you can talk to your regular doctor and get a referral. (Sorry, I don't know how the British system works). There may be mental health resources available at your school. Just speaking from my own experience, you should start dealing with this now if you can, or it can haunt you for the rest of your life.

Know that you are among friends here at PC...you are one of us, and you'll be treated with the love and respect that you deserve.

DJ

[ozzie]

Welcome to the forums, uwais. I don't think we have to want the same thing as our parents. I'm sorry they try to force their beliefs on you.

hi i am from the uk, halifax originally, i am now living in wales, you can talk to the school counciller (sp) at the college you attend, it is all in confidence, your parents wont know, also start looking for your own place, as you know being a student you are entitled to rent rebates, they, the government, will pay at least half of your rent if not all of it, are you ready to live by yourself?

[mortimer]

Your school should have resources to help? There are laws that make counselors stay private about what you say in office, and they'll only do something if they think you're in immediate danger to yourself (about to try to commit suicide)

And I agree with Davey. You don't have to agree with them, but nevertheless, you live under their roof for now. We have to grin and bear it, even if it's terrible and makes us miserable. But, one day, as long as you don't live WITH them, they can't control you, you still love them? And want to be able to visit them sometimes? They're still your parents, dispite different philosophys... When we live away from eachother it can make us easier to get along with them I think... : )

When you move out, think about it. (^_^) You can have many friends, watch anything you want, stay out as you please, and worship as you want. I'm waiting to be able to worship as I want too. My family is Christian, but I've choosen Judaism. I don't even want to tell them. (O_O) Do they make you go to Mosque? I hated it when my family made me go to Church. :X

You're in college, but live at home? How much would it be to be able to live on campus? Would they approve? Maybe if you find a roomate to help costs, you could even get an appartment?

Finding the balance is difficult, and it's very sad you have to feel like this. (T__T) If you ever want to talk, I'm here okay? (^_^)