[LazyLogophile]

I haven't posted a problem on this website in a while, because I haven't had a genuine concern to post about (and I am so grateful for that!), but recently I have been struggling with something and tonight I finally decided to get some outside opinions on it.

Over the last six months I have increasingly become resistant to being touched. This may not sound unusual for someone who doesn't have a "touchy-feely" personality, but I have ALWAYS liked to hug/touch/show physical affection. My mom used to make jokes (and get slightly annoyed) at how much I wanted and needed physical contact in order to feel loved. Lately, though, I have only been able to do this with my son and no one else. When my boyfriend hugs me, I feel smothered and want to push him away. When we make love, I get bored or irritated and can't really enjoy it, even though nothing has changed in our interaction with each other. I don't want to hug my parents anymore, or friends...I just don't want people to touch me. Only my son. I somehow feel like everyone else is disingenuous when they show me affection, and it makes me repulsed. I hate feeling like I am obligated to hug and kiss (on the cheek) family members when I see them, and I really don't like feeling obligated to my boyfriend. The idea that because I want personal space for a while (I have no idea how long I will feel this way) makes me wonder if he will turn to someone else for the physical attention he isn't receiving from me.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? Did it pass quickly, or did you eventually realize that you had grown into a less physically affectionate person? This is the first time I have ever felt like this, and I'm starting to feel like it may be a symptom of a larger issue that I can't identify...or maybe it's just a phase?

Thanks in advance for any input. All opinions are appreciated :-)

P.S. I am tired, and not keen on spell-checking or proof-reading, so please forgive my laziness (as my name indicates, I am LAZY) and don't judge my grammar or spelling too harshly. LOL

[Perna]

Originally Posted by LazyLogophile

I somehow feel like everyone else is disingenuous when they show me affection, and it makes me repulsed.

Obviously something in you has changed (rather than the situations, as you point out). I would try to pinpoint when it changed and as a result of what? When did you start feeling which particular person (somebody had to be first, try to stay away from the "everyone" all/nothing perspective) was disingenuous? What was the event that started the ball rolling? Have you been to a party/family gathering or met new members of your or your boyfriend's family that you didn't like how they acted but originally did your thing with hugging, etc.? Did someone criticize your hugging them or rebuff a hug or indicate they didn't like receiving it? Did you have a conversation with someone who had different views from yours and made you feel bad?

[SoupDragon]

I have always had problems with sexual intimacy (unless drunk), but other than that I was really affectionate, loved hand holding - even stroking my pets.

Now I can only bear the touch of my kids, I even struggle to stroke my pets and when I do I just feel numb.

My T suggests holding my hand or touching me gently on the shoulder, but I panic at the mere thought of it.

I have no idea why I am like this - yes I have past issues to work through, but I do not know what has changed to make even pet stroking difficult for me.

SD