[h0kie]

So, The Hubby has been applying for coaching jobs all over the country. He hasn't been given any interviews (yet!), but we've heard good things back. Here's my question:

One of the schools he applied to wrote back and said that in order to be considered he has to be a member of a certain church (obviously a "religious" school...he works at one now, with no problems). We are not members of this church. We are members of the church I grew up in and therefore are somewhat attached to it(even though we haven't been in months).

On the one hand, he could always just say we'll worship at this church and then we don't, we can switch churches (not really what I want to do), or he can say thanks but no thanks.

Several people have said, "oh you just have to be a member of this church, not actually go to it". That is not the vibe I have gotten. The vibe I get is you must go to that church (and they will be checking).

To me, being a member also means giving money, right? Exactly how much of his salary will we be expected to tithe, you know?

Plus the job is in Alabama and we are in Ohio. Quite a move.

The whole thing just seems shady. I can teach at a catholic school without being Catholic as long as I teach Catholic beliefs.

I have my own opinion, but I don't want to influence him too much.

Any opinions, thoughts, ideas?

[Hopefull]

I can imagine some of your conservative churches doing that. However, I think they should be willing to consider people of the same religion in different denomination.
As for your husband, I hope that he doesn't agree to their stipulation. However, if you and him is desperate I can see you doing it. Sometimes being able to take a stand requires that the person be relatively able to afford the necessities of life. I hope you and him will talk it out and decide what to do.
I am sending a prayer for God's wisdom and guidance your way.

[h0kie]

The Hubby thinks they are really limiting themselves with this requirement, but who knows. The Hubby currently works at a Jesuit school and there is no religious requirements. He worked at a Methodist school with no problems either. So who knows. It's their school, they can run it however they like.

Personally, I would wonder about someone who would easily agree to change their place of worship just for a job. You know?

On the one hand, this is only to be considered. There's no promise of even a phone interview. If he doesn't get the job, it's a moot point.

Right now, schools are looking for what The Hubby's boss calls 1st tier choices. This is The Hubby's first year in this profession and he's slowly gaining the knowledge and paying his dues. He's not a 1st tier coach, yet. His boss says there will be two more big posting times and the later each posting time the better his chances.

[EJ711]

One Day,

Now I've heard everything. Legally, I don't think they are allowed to do that. However, it is an employer's market right now. I probably wouldn't apply for that job, but I don't know what your situation is.

Wishing you and your hubby all the best,

Jane

[JustBen]

I'd never consider this. I believe in my what Church teaches, and I couldn't imagine pretending to believe something else for a job.

[lonewolf]

Constitutional issue comes to mind, you have the right to choose how you want to live as long it's legal.

If your husband gets the job,you will be moving from Ohio to Alabama,so your church will change anyways?I may have missed this,but are you talking the school is under an entirely different sector of faith?

Tithes in many churches tend to be 10% of your salary.

Positive if you get the new life in Alabama,no more snow

To support your beliefs,you may lose short term,but you will have not compromised - u have to live with your decision,not the employer?

Tough decision.

[Maven]

Personally, I think it's wrong to espouse beliefs you don't actually believe, and by joining a church, you are saying that church's beliefs are yours, although not necessarily all of them. It's ok to disagree with some things your church seems to stand for, because I think it would be hard to find two people who believe exactly the same thing in the same way on all things.

I'm not sure of the laws regarding discrimination of religion in terms of religious schools. You might ask a lawyer.

My boyfriend went to several churches before deciding on one. I, on the other hand, don't belong to a church, and don't have a religion. But he might know about the tithing thing...he's not here, or I'd ask him for you now. I'll try to get info and post tomorrow.

I don't think you should join a church you don't feel comfortable in, though.

[SeptemberMorn]

Right off the top of my head, I see two things; one on each side of the coin.

1) If you must be a member to hold a position in their school, why then not hire someone from the membership list??

So I suppose you'd have to transfer membership before they would even consider hiring him?? Ummm... nah! Something's fishy in Denmark.

2) IF he gets that job in another state, you wouldn't be going to your church anyway. Too far to travel for one Sunday morning service, right?

Do you suppose your home church would consider retaining your membership with them while holding membership at another church?

As for tithing... you give where you're fed... or you could tithe to the Salvation Army or any charity you deem worthy. Is tithing compulsory at this new church??? YIKES if it is! A tithe is 10%.

Erin... "behind every great man there is a great woman." YOU are, Sweety. Don't hold back!

[allthegirls6]

what does "tithe" mean? Im just wondering, ive never heard the term here in Scotland

atg

[h0kie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
Something's fishy in Denmark.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I completely agree. The Hubby and I are not what I would call holy rollers, we're resevered in our faith. Spiritual over religious, I guess I would say. You know? And this just feels like one of those places that requires you to be in church, give this much time, and that much money. I don't like being told I must do something. I tend to rebel.

As for the legality, this is a private college. No public money is used, so they can make whatever rules they wish. Crazy as they may be.

This is not the only job out there and even though we both really need jobs this one brings up so many more cons than pros. There are new coaching postions posted vitually every day. But then I ask myself, "are we sabotaging ourselves?"

The Hubby wrote the gentleman back and thanked him for the opportunity (said thanks but no thanks), but now he is second guessing himself. I just want to make sure it sounds fishy to others.

If we did move, yes, I would have to find a new church. However, there are many "branches" of my church nationwide. I attended one while I went to college in Virginia and was fine with it.

It just doesn't seem right to me.

[h0kie]

Tithe is what you donate to your church. Usually they say to give a certain percent of your income.

tithe
n. A tenth part of one's annual income contributed voluntarily or due as a tax, especially for the support of the clergy or church.

[allthegirls6]

Thanks for letting me know, ive never heard of this. Maybe things are different in the UK, but it seems an awful lot of money to me. People should be able to give what they want when they want.

ATG

[SeptemberMorn]

Afterthought:

1) If you must be a member to hold a position in their school, why then not hire someone from the membership list??

They don't have a coach in their congregation, you say? Then adjustments need to be made... like not expecting someone from out of town to change church membership!

Nah... get hubby to stop second guessing himself. His first impulse was right!

[Maven]

One of the drawbacks to going out on the weekends with my boyfriend is, he listens to some religious programs on the radio. One of them is a program on how to manage money in accordance with the Bible.

While I'm not against tithing (or maybe I am, if there's a standard definition of it in terms of amount), I think people should choose what they give their churches, if anything. On this radio show, I think they said it's 10%, too, and as I recall, they said the first money you set aside is for tithing, not your bills, needs, etc. I might be wrong about that, but I know it's at least one of the very first things.

Anyway, I don't think God needs money. The church might, and I'm not against giving money to help your church run, or get new Bibles or equipment or whatever, but it should be each member's choice as to how much s/he gives.

I also think, if Mel Gibson wants to put his money into a church, he shouldn't have built what I call a "church of excess," with gold and expensive ornamentation, costing millions of dollars; he should donate his money to other churches that need it, or charities.

[SeptemberMorn]

Umm... the issue here is employment, not so much tithing. That's only a side issue.

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I don't like being told I must do something. I tend to rebel.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

LOL Amen, Sistah!

[SeptemberMorn]

"Tithing" is almost exclusively done in "Christian" churches of all denominations. Doesn't have anything to do with "culture."

[NICO]

in choosing to change, sacrifice is inevitable. Ethics can be based on values, would you be sacrificing anything of great value to you? the catholic faith is based on the ethics of natural law everything has a purpose, to do anything or use anything for any other reason than its natural purpose is bad or not as good. humans have the ability to create/discover purpose, technology is getting ever more multi purposed (ie;mobile phones), so natural law has a hard time keeping up. i suppose you have to ask yourself what is my ultimate or most natural purpose in life? forgive me if my understanding is a little rusty.

[(JD)]

I think if it's all out on the table prior to the contract signing, it's not a matter of ethics...unless you don't plan on keeping the agreement finally made? Those are all good questions, and should be asked in writing, for answers in writing... OH is still kindof the Bible belt... south OH anyway... but AL is very much so... they take religion very seriously there, and you may very well be expected to lead a Sunday group... more questions need to be asked (btw some places they take out your "tithe" before you get your check!) TC

[dottie]

tithing & Culture

http://www.1stpres-eliz.org/cultureofgiving.html

[jennie]

Isn't this against the law? I'd call EEOC to verify.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of l964 prohibits employers from discriminating against individuals because of their religion in hiring, firing, and other terms and conditions of employment.

[bebop]

from what I learned about tithing is that the 10% that is given is for the store house of the church. meaning that money goes to help others in the church or community that need help and to help pay the ministers salary.

[SeptemberMorn]

This is from the page your link took me to.

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The foundation for giving and for stewardship is found in Psalm 24:1-2

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Besides, tithing wasn't the issue. The poster didn't know whether the employer would require a tithe or not.

BTW, the poster's husband has already said "Thank you, but no thank you." Really, any further discussion is beside the point.

Funny how people will zero in on one minute aspect of a larger issue and go off on a tangent.

[h0kie]

I don't think it's illegal as it is a private school. Privately funded. They're not discriminating, they just require applicants to worship at this church. I think it falls under the "requirements" of the position.

[h0kie]

Ethical v. not ethical isn't important to me. To me, this is an ethical question. So I'm not arguing that point.

It's not about tithe-ing and its requirements.

It's more about the fact that something sound/feels wrong.

I feel like I am being set up. I know nothing of this church and yet we are asked to switch before we can even be considered. Will they demand proof? When?

If we easily give up our current place of worship, just what kind of loyalty does that show? I feel that it would show that we will do whatever it takes to get this job. While on the one hand, that is ok with me. On the other hand, I do draw the line at some thing.

If we don't give up our current denomination then he isn't considered for the position.

Thanks to everyone who offered what I asked - opinions, thoughts, and ideas.

Please do not turn this into a discussion of religion.