[SoupDragon]

I have major trust issues (have talked about this in a previous thread) - but someone asked me today whether I trust myself - seemed a daft question, but when I really thought about it, I realised that actually I don't. I don't trust myself to make good decisions and sometimes also as I SI can't trust myself to keep myself safe.

I am trying to be cool about it, but when I really start to think deeply about it, get a little anxious - if I can't even trust myself where do I start in trying to sort myself out.

Do you trust you?

I trust myself to make good decisions. The problem I have is one of reliance -- whether I will do what I believe is good for me.

[cin1]

i do and i don't. i don't trust myself with money or credit cards, so my husband takes care of those areas. i don't trust myself with my anger, don't understand where all the anger comes from and now years later i am really feeling angry. i do trust my self in trying to be honest with me, the best i am able.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

I trust myself to make good decisions. The problem I have is one of reliance -- whether I will do what I believe is good for me.

So if you cannot rely on yourself to do what you believe is good for you - is this not similar to trust - or is it more about motivation once you have decided what is good for you? (Sorry I am not good at understanding emotions / feelings).

[Bipolar Mark]

I don't trust myself with money, when I am hypomanic I just spend, spend, spend. When I cam off of the high it's like oh my god, what have I done again? When I am manic I am completely out of control with just about everything!

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by cin1

i do and i don't. i don't trust myself with money or credit cards, so my husband takes care of those areas. i don't trust myself with my anger, don't understand where all the anger comes from and now years later i am really feeling angry. i do trust my self in trying to be honest with me, the best i am able.

Thank-you that is helpful to me - I catch myself out with the all or nothing thing - either I trust totally or not at all and now you have posted that, I can remember T saying something about degrees of trust. So it is interesting that you have broken it down into different areas - and actually I know I can trust myself 100% to be on time to pick my kids up from school. Actually I am going to write a list for myself of ways in which I do trust myself - thanks again.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Mark

I don't trust myself with money, when I am hypomanic I just spend, spend, spend. When I cam off of the high it's like oh my god, what have I done again? When I am manic I am completely out of control with just about everything!

Thanks Mark - do you trust yourself when you are not manic?

[SoupDragon]

Actually I have just read my previous thread about trust and there was some really helpful advice there about trusting others. And I can see that I can apply that to me - I can also see in believing that I cannot trust myself, that this can lead to much negative thinking - it is more balanced for me to look at the ways in which I can trust myself...there are some I now realise. Thanku

[popeye]

Hi....I am new here and learning how to navigate around in here. I can trust myself except when it comes to money. My wife takes care of the money and sometimes we fight about it. I am retired and we are on a fixed income. She never worked in the last 35 years that I have been with her. I always told her ....how much money do we need and I would work for it.She paid the bills. I also would work overtime if we needed it . I have made alot of purchases for things I thought I needed but really did not. Example....I play the electric guitar and only needed one or two amplifiers. I bought 9 in the last 5 years and bought 3 guitars....then I spent a bundle on upgrading them....I did this behind her back and lied about how I got the money. Ughhhhh!

[Miss Laura]

I don't trust myself at all even though I am sure of things, deep down I dont trust myself and need people to point it out that I am not doing good etc... As much as I hate it

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I don't trust myself at all even though I am sure of things, deep down I dont trust myself and need people to point it out that I am not doing good etc... As much as I hate it

Hi Miss Laura - thanks for sharing this. I remember being unwell with a cough last year - I kept going to work and people kept commenting on my health - I kept saying I was fine - in the end I went to my doctor to stop the nagging and I had pneumonia and was sent home to rest in bed for two weeks - I had no idea that I was that unwell and it was a little freaky that I was so out of touch with my body.

[Miss Laura]

I don't know when enough is enough... I get too hyper and really start annoying people. Or I continue hurting myself cause I just don't know when to stop. This is how I don't trust myself. I was hurting myself last night and I don't know if I can trust myself to not hurt myself again

[yellowted]

I trust myself in most things most of the time, when PMT hits then it is a completely different story, i trust no one including myself, i spend the whole time questioning everything from my ability to my worth and everyone elses opinion of me. I never trust my decision on important things like changng mortgage company or moving home, so find i tend to put off making any decisions like that, just bury my head and hope they go away!!! I know that is the wrong thing to do but i really get too stressed out to cope with them!

[SolutionIsProcess]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Do you trust you?

When I make quick/bad decisions, there is an implicit trust I have in myself. It is only afterward that I look back and go "I've got to try a different approach next time."

Ironically, it's when I DON'T trust myself, when I am conscious of my potential for destructiveness, that I make the kind of decisions that would make someone feel they can trust themselves.

If I had to choose between one or the other, then no, I do not trust myself.

[nicoleb2]

I don't trust myself with much of anything. I don't trust myself to stay safe, as I frequently SI. I don't trust myself with money as I tend to overspend. I just have no reason to trust me.

[Flooded]

I'm about the only person I do trust, but I do have off days when I question everything I think or do.

[gma45]

No I am to insecure to trust myself, that is just from years of being told I make bad choices. Guess you could say I am still under renovation!

[nannypat]

I am the last person that people would think that wouldn't trust herself. I can trust myself with money, always being where I am suppose to be, being on time, doing all the right things, paying all the bills, budgeting the money etc.etc. But when the depression is overwhelming as I am doing all those things, all I think about is a su plan and no even knows it. No, I don't always trust myself.

[Elana05]

Hi SoupDragon,

Thanks for posting. This is an interesting topic. About six years ago I was having dinner with my dad and his wife and my dad told me point blank, "face it, you've never made any good decisions in your life." He has shown doubt in me before but never said anything so hurtful. He was drinking at the time and later gave me a weak apology but it has taken me years of therapy and ACoA to work at getting his voice out of my head. I have a terrible time trusting myself (for this and other reasons). I have felt like I never make the right decisions and I am constantly setting myself up for failure - the only end result in my life.
Only now I am trying to re-parent myself and tell myself that it's OK to trust myself again, that I have received some very bad advice and wrong direction from my parents. It is a difficult thing to re-learn. Right now I am thinking about going back to school and feel somewhat hollow inside about it. I don't even know what I want. I want to want. I want to make a better life for myself. I want to earn a better living. These are all good things. But I never trust that I am on the right track - or even near the right track. I would like to know what it feels like to trust yourself. I did it once before. But I have a hard time remembering what it feels like now...
Can you think of some reasons why you may have this reaction to trusting yourself? Were you given some bad direction?

Elana...

[MisanthropicOne]

I have difficulty in trusting anyone, myself included. There are numerous situations I avoid simply due to my not trusting how i'll respond. There is a huge 'what if' that makes me paranoid.

SoupDragon, perhaps the best way to state what I am trying to say is that I trust myself to work at determining what is best for me. I do not trust that I will follow though. Many times I have not.