[Greenleaves]

I made people feel really bad and now I feel really bad about making people feel really bad. Now everyone feels really bad. :-( It's horrible.

I make people feel bad by complaining too much I think. And now I'm doing it again and this will make more people feel bad. :-(

Except I want people to know that I feel bad that others feel bad, but in doing so, I may be making them feel worse.

I don't know what to do. I think I need to stop posting somewhere for a while for people to forget their hurts.

I wish I had a magic wand to make everyone feel better and happy again.

I just know that people will feel even more upset if they knew how upset their being upset makes me.

I think this means that I can't let other people know that I'm upset.

Sigh, I'm not very good at this interacting thing.

I think I'm supposed to follow what people tell me to do to help myself to make other people feel better.

I'm going to really try now because I realize now how upset people are.

I just want people to be happy and joke around again.

I think I suck the life out of other people.

[Lexicon78]

I'm not good at the interacting thing, either. Communication is what I'm worst at. No matter who you talk with, you can't keep from upsetting people. It's just a fact of life, ya know? People do get over it.

I complain a lot and upset people often by what I talk about, but I keep going. I just apologize for my behavior, work on ways to get past it with others by talking with them, and then try to move on. It's not easy, don't think I'm saying that. I just don't want you to give up when you need someone to talk to the most.

Hang in there. I'm here for you.

[Jayna]

Yes when you complain people do feel bad. =O It's a fact of life, because sadness rubs off on people. Same as when we feel bad, you feel bad. But think of this. If we can find a way to make you happy, we'll be happy to. ^^ And vice versa. So the whole unhappiness thing is another step to being happy. Not sure if I made any sense here. ^^; Sorry.

Love Jen

[eskielover]

I have found throughout my life that I do not have the power to make everyone feel bad. They have their own lives to focus on & not mine. When I feel bad, they may acknowledge that I am feeling bad, but they do not feel bad because I am feeling bad. I also have come to realize that when others feel bad, there is no way that I can make them feel that much better either. I can try to help but the fact is that everyone is really responsible for their own happiness & their own feeling bad. There is no way that I as one person has the power to make everyone I am around be happy or joke around.

The life experiences that I have gone through and am going through are what effect how I feel not how someone else around me is feeling. My happiness & joking around depends on how I am dealing with what is going on in my life.

It may help to take the pressure off of you to realize that everyone has their own personal lives that they are living & that is effecting their happiness. That has more power over them than any one else that is outside of their personal life.

Relax a bit & take the pressure off of yourself......we out here have so much going on "in our own lives" that cause anxiety attacks, depression, flashbacks, triggers, & whatever else is hitting us.

Debbie

what did you do to make people feel so badly?

1) Take some nice deep breaths...

(This too shall pass. It can seem like it won't and things have irrevokably been altered. But I assure you that this too shall pass. And you will have forgotten all about it in 6 months or so if not before)

2) You don't *make* people feel anyway at all. Other people *respond* to you in a variety of ways... And other people do need to own their own responses as their own responses. That being said... Some responses are more or less inevitable, yes...

3) Remember that people are feeling a little frustrated because they care. Don't forget that. People are only frustrated because THEY CARE ABOUT YOU.

And what is frustrating...

Is seeing you get into such horrible places...
Where you are in a lot of distress...
Where you are thinking about doing things that are unhelpful (like harming yourself)

When before when you were taking your meds...

You didn't seem to get into these places anywhere near as much.

And I've said this already...

But I think it is important for people here to know a little about what is going on so they understand a little more about what this is about.

4) I know you don't intend for people to feel frustrated or upset with you.

And I know that you feel frustrated / upset when you find that people feel frustrated / upset

And... The trouble with this process...

Well... Some people refer to it as 'winding oneself up'. But I have found... That when people refer to it as that... Well... Grr... Then they are just helping with the winding up ;-)

How to get off?????

This too shall pass...

The medication will take some time before you experience the effects of it.

Might take a couple weeks.
I think it took a couple weeks last time.

If you take it how you are supposed to take it
(and don't miss dosages or take more than you are supposed to...)
Then I predict you will be ticking along just fine in a couple weeks and all this will be forgotten...

Shame this didn't happen BEFORE school started...

But if you get onto that now...

And you keep taking it...

This could be your best semester yet...

>think I'm supposed to follow what people tell me to do to help myself to make other people feel better.

no.

you are supposed to follow what people tell you to do to help yourself (when they have valid points about what has helped you in the past and thus what is likely to help you in the future) IN ORDER TO HELP YOURSELF.

period.

like what i was saying about how when someone is drowning...

'i'm drowning i'm drowning what can i do? everything is hopeless'

and people yell at you from the sidelines

'grab the flotation device that is right in front of your face'

(ie your medication which helped you immensely last time you took it according to your doctors directions)

and you will not

but persist in yelling 'help me help me'

and nobody can rush in to the water and haul you out.
or if they did...
there would only be a next time and a next time and a next time
so in rushing in to rescue you they wouldn't be doing you any favours long term.

you need to learn to swim

people are telling you to grab the flotation device is all.

they aren't trying to manipulate you against your will in order to do something that they want for their own egotistical ends

they are trying to give you what it is that you want...

a way to swim.

yeah.

it is going to be hard work from you.

meds help.
you could hunt through the archives of the site that must not be named and this one. you could work out the dates you were taking your meds as directed. you could see for yourself.

have you done this?

have you done this BEFORE disregarding what other people have said about how much the meds have helped you?

of course... i think the meds... well... they help the water be a little shallower or something like that... so you can rebound yourself off the bottom for air...

therapy would help you swim...

but yeah.

that is going to require you actively seeking that...
making phone calls...
going into buildings...

therapy will help you with those things...

but of course...

you are going to have to do them to get therapy.

it is your decision of course.

but people on the sidelines will feel frustrated in response to your not grabbing that flotation device.

they will.

i think... that will be a fairly inevitable response from people who care about you and who want you to get better.

its not about doing what people say just because they say...

its about if you really want to stop drowning...

then you are going to have to learn to swim.

you are.

i hope that you are feeling better now. pat