[paul.quesof]

I have lived my life only in pain. I have never experienced a moment of happiness. I know I'm the evil that everyone hates. I've seen my reflection and it's a demon. I've seen the hate that comes from humans. This thing called life is overrated when we only destroy each other. I allow myself to live only in the hope that I will get to see a mass extinction event.

Have you ne'er seen beauty in Nature? The innocent fun of small children at play?

Do you ever laugh at something silly? Not one single moment of ease?

You see Yourself as Evil Incarnate? Wow, you're right, if I saw everything as you do, I'd feel as you do.

I hope your perception shifts. There is so much in life to enjoy.--------Pax theo

Hello, paul.quesof. When you say these things, do you seek a response? If your career is more important than your health, is there anything anyone can say you even would consider?

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by paul.quesof

I have lived my life only in pain. I have never experienced a moment of happiness. I know I'm the evil that everyone hates. I've seen my reflection and it's a demon. I've seen the hate that comes from humans. This thing called life is overrated when we only destroy each other. I allow myself to live only in the hope that I will get to see a mass extinction event.

Are you planning on organizing and carrying out "a mass extinction event"?

Hi Paul - Your profile page says you have PTSD. Did something happen that made you feel you are evil? We're all capable of good and evil - it's a choice. Sometimes we feel we have no choice, but we can learn how to make that choice. If we're not capable of getting there by ourselves, then there are people who will help us figure it out - they're called therapists. If you're not happy with your life the way it is, ask a doctor what resources are available to you. Since you're here at PC, it seems like you are looking to understand yourself better. It's a good place to start. I hope you find support and understanding here, and tell us more about yourself.

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry you feel so down on yourself. Depression and deep self loathing can mess up our perception of ourselves. Never say uncle - get the right help so you can feel better.

[SophiaG]

I think the world is evil too. Let's start a colony in the wilderness and be distrusting of one another!

[ScarletBibs]

You may perceive yourselve as demonic, but really I think the depression inside of you has fogged up the good in your life like it done so with me... You are what you think you are which is why thoughts can be very dangerous at times. Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to actions, all you have to do is remember there are things worth living for though... Try and cheer up, I struggle with depression too but on the brighter side know that you're not alone and that there is hope~

[Open Eyes]

Hmmmm, maybe you need better glasses, or eyewash, maybe some soothing eye drops, could be dry eye too, maybe thats red eye oh that might be pink eye.
Try blinking, or squinting, having something in your eyes can burn.

Ok, I am trying to be light hearted, its ok to laugh, thats how to start to get rid of evil eyes.

Yes, I have PTSD too, but if you have it your not really evil. PTSD is caused by being a vicitim and that can sometimes make you confuse yourself as being evil, your not, I don't even think evil people can get PTSD. Are there bad people, yes, I have come across them too, even hurt by them. But that never made me evil, but others who carry the guilt of causing you pain can try to make you feel you are the bad one.

Open Eyes,

That'd be an interesting lens through which the world is viewed. Granted, I also believe I'm evil incarnate, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying it on occasion... What led you to believe this?

Last Activity: 09-19-2011 06:35 PM

I think "seeing evil" feel safe. If you were to "see" all the good available in the world around then that opens up to the feelings of what we desperately needed/wanted growing up and didn't get. Its safer to believe only bad exists then we dont have to suffer all our longings.

[Willcat]

“There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.” - Buddha

[cin1]

Originally Posted by paul.quesof

I have lived my life only in pain. I have never experienced a moment of happiness. I know I'm the evil that everyone hates. I've seen my reflection and it's a demon. I've seen the hate that comes from humans. This thing called life is overrated when we only destroy each other. I allow myself to live only in the hope that I will get to see a mass extinction event.

no, no, no....u are not the evil, no demon either. since u are here and me too , try to be kind. and live today with hope for a better moment in your life.. just my thought..

[Mr insecurity]

It sounds like you have had a lot of bad experiences with rejections in your youth and probably later. I had bad experiences when I was young and I am still not sure why I attracted soo much negative attention, but I now understand that my failure to stickup for myself comes off as a weakness and bullies are attracted to this. Also many women find this repulsive. You can also form behavior patterns that cause a negative response from other people. I use to think my appearance had something to do with it but now I believe it was much more not sticking up for myself. I also believe that my weaknesses are a big part of why I don't like myself very much. Try to be how you really feel as long as you don't physically hurt anyone or do anything not socially exceptable. You should like yourself better and not harbor soo much resentment. Joining a regularly scheduled excercise group(regularly scheduled helps you to comit it to your schedule and stick with it) and maybe some social groups should help. It was good for me. Your local Community centers have lots of actities. You can also join a gym that has an excercise group that you are interested in. Group sports are also good excercise. You can find social groups at Meetup.com. Good luck! Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor.