I feel down and I feel jealous of my boyfriend who has a job and other people because they have jobs. I'm unemployed and I am trying to look for work. I keep applying but I keep getting nos. I went to a interview but I got rejected and I cut myself as I felt upset. I keep feeling like I am a mistake and that life wasn't meant for me. I'm sorry to sound stupid but I feel like sometimes I shouldn't be on this earth. I want to do something to do with childcare or working in a shop but I don't know what to do. It be better if I do try to hurt myself, if I'm not here, It be better for other people. I hate this feeling. I tried to pray but I don't think I have been heard. I'm just a bad person and I shouldn't be on this earth. I know my mum hates me. She keeps calling me names. I think of suicide and death :S I know all this stupid. I can't tell my boyfriend this otherwise he'll think I don't love him. I wish I was shot at birth

You are in my thoughts, Jenny.

Be safe.

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

You are in my thoughts, Jenny.

Be safe.

Thanks, I try.

[IceCreamKid]

I feel bad for you. I think you are such a delightful person and it pains me to see you so upset. I don't know about where you live but the economy is poor in my community and many people are struggling to find jobs. It isn't their fault and it isn't your fault. You just have to keep looking and make it your occupation to find a job! Don't forget your skill at photography. That is a talent you have that other applicants might not, so make sure to look for work anywhere where that might be an asset. And if you cannot find paying work, please consider volunteering. The contacts and experience you would gain in a volunteer position will put you at the forefront when it comes to applying for paying jobs because it will show you have drive and compassion and work skills. I send you love and courage and if I could I would plant only kind words for you in your mum's mouth. Courage!

[venusss]

The economy is bloody mess globally, so don't take the rejections personally. It is not about you this time. Just bad time all around.

Keep trying, it will work out in the end.

I'll just kill myself

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I think you are such a delightful person and it pains me to see you so upset. ... I send you love and courage and if I could I would plant only kind words for you in your mum's mouth.

Me too! If only your mum could see you the way we do.

[StrongerMan]

Life is precious. Life is powerful. Life is truly a miracle. To be alive on this Earth is the greatest gift even though it doesn't always feel that way. You mentioned an interest in childcare. There are thousands of kids out there who can feel respect, kindness, appreciation, joy, serenity and love just because of YOU.

[likewater]

A job doesnt define your worth. You' ll get a job, but you are the same wonderful person now. I know the feeling. Applying for a job when 200 people are applying and they hire 5. It is really hard.

[nacht]

I'm so sorry. This economy is just so hard on people right now- I'm going through the exact same thing you are, with the added stress of having a student loan payment due and having nothing to give them. You are in my thoughts, and you are not alone.

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I'll just kill myself

Please, don't say such things
I know how you feel but please don't give up, life does have its uncertainies, its ups and downs but even if your mother doesn't give you love, your boyfriend and the friends you have here and out there do care for you.

Pm me or post a vistors message in my profile if you want to talk.

But know that I'am worried for you

[splitimage]

Job hunting in my opinion is one of the most soul sucking, negative processes that anyone can go through. I'm looking for work too - I've been unemployed for the better part of a year, and the rejections hurt. I know a lot of it's the economy being lousy, but it's still hard to not take the rejections personally. It's really hard to stay motivated. But I keep trying because I don't have any other option really... and I know I'll find something eventually, because I always have.

I'd second the recommendation to volunteer. I volunteer on a telephone support line every Fri. night and I love it. It's totally outside of my field, but I've been doing it for three years now and it honestly gives me something to look forward to. I'm waiting now to hear back about a volunteer position that would be in my field, which might help me in the job search.

I'm guessing that you're still in school, yes? Volunteer experience and even extra curricular activities go a long way towards helping getting into the program, post secondary school you want. I even got a university schollarship, on top of my academic schollarship, due to my high school extra curricular activities. And when I graduated from Uni. in the middle of the '91 recession, I got a job entirely thanks to the volunteer positions I'd held in student government. So there's lots of ways to gain useful experience, beyond just having a job.

Good luck and stay safe.

--splitimage

I feel a bit the same way . . . I normally don't even try to look for work, but today I am doing some online appplying and it's depressing. I don't have any real skills anymore, and I am also having thoughts of ending my life. On the other hand there are some very good options that I could take, including study, and there is always a job every now and then which seems perfect for me, and as long as that happens i can't feel depressed all the time.

[gma45]

I am so sorry you are feeling so sad! Something will come along, you will find work! Its only money! I want you to stick around and I am sure your bf does too!