I am so very frustrated, advice needed please!

I really need some advice.
First let me tell you about me, i suffer from:
- Social phobia
- I have some co-dependant issues with my only friend meaning that I can't go out in public without her being around (maybe this has to do with social phobia)
- I have depression
- I have GAD (generalized Anxiety disorder) with panic attacks
- I am an avoidant
- I am hypersensitive
- I have a fear of being judged and rejection.
A lot of this has caused me not to work, I haven't worked in 2 years. The state has been trying to help me find a job over a year now. My social worker with the state says that I need to toughen up basically. I also have a job coach helping me and she finally found a job for me (so she said) and she was to call me last Friday with the details and I have not heard back from her.
Here is the problem that I am beyond frustrated with. I hate sitting at home all day while my only friend works full time hours waiting for her to come home, so I thought if I got out and got a job I would be happy. So when my job coach found a job for me (she said I got the job but I never heard back from her) I was happy (but I could have been happier) I was also very panicy cause of this. So just now I called her to tell her that I was very panicy about this job (I had to leave a message with her), I thought telling the truth "sets you free".
My only friend told her father about this and he seemed a bit frustrated about how I feel same thing with my only friend (friends are suppose to be supportive).
I have a dear online friend who told me that maybe I should try for social security if the job doesn't come through (I know I have brought up the topic of social security here before but the thought of them rejecting me is a grulling thought).
No one (my friend and her father) seems to understand me.
I am so frustrated about this. I am very angry at myself, I hate this feeling.
I want to work but I don't.
I know that I hate being so lonely but I don't honestly feel that I am ready to work.
Maybe I was pushing myself to find work because I wanted to feel like someone instead of this 37 year old who stays at home, never married with one offline friend and a family who has completely disowned me. So maybe I was pushing myself into something that deep in my heart I was not ready for.
I really could use your kind gentle advice.
Has anyone out there felt like this?
What is your best advice as to what I should do about this matter?
I feel so frustrated and alone on this issue.
Thank you so much in advance for your advice. Have a good day

Hello, clouds_and_sun. You will not know for sure unless you try.

Hello, Clouds_and_Sun!
Nes and yo. No, I haven't felt exactly as you describe. Yes, I have felt painful frustration at my own inability to mobilize myself to productivity.

I struggled in a different set of circumstances. It grew obvious I was becoming less and less capable. My decision was to press forward despite the decline. In the end I "crashed." I have not recovered from that crash despite following doctors' guidance.

Sometimes I wonder about my decision to simply keep going. Had I stopped to regroup myself, would I have salvaged some ability to function at least on a low level in the normal world? I don't know.

The possible analogue to your situation is pressing forward now toward work. Either you will gain some traction in the world and maybe even a satisfying sense of mastery, or you will fail. The former would of course be better. The latter would be extremely painful but might provide the authorities with sufficient evidence of the intractability of your case.

Regardless, we'll stand with you.

I have felt like this before once I got out the door I was nervous but after doing it you feel so much better about yourself and it got easier for me. At least give it a try it might not be so bad after a while! Baby steps! I wish you well!

I have some similar issues with anxiety. I saw a therapist that specialized in exposure therapy and dbt. She basically told me that if there was something I was anxious about that felt overwhelming, say fillling out a job application, that if I started feeling overwhelmed, to just sit there with the feeling till it passes. It does go down. I actually did have issues filling out job applications, and I was able to get a job in the end.

Another thing she told me was to not think ahead, but only do what was effective in the moment. So in the moment if putting down my name on the job application was all that I could do, then do that and sit there with the anxiety till it goes back down again. And not go off on a tangent of something else I needed to do, because that was to ease the anxiety and I wouldn't fix the problem. So basically beforehand I agreed with my therapist what my homework or task was (or just assign it to myself), which was fill out and email a job application and I stuck it out till it was sent, even though I thought of a million other things I wanted or should do. I just tabled them till I completed my task.

I feel kinda embarassed relating this, but it really was that bad at one point.

I guess a similar theory is espoused on the tv show "Obsessed" where people with ocd have to face their fears. I watched some shows from the first season, it was pretty interesting.

Also it helps if you try not to bash yourself, or compare yourself to others, but list your accomplishments no matter how small they seem. That way you're thinking more positively about yourself and when you feel better about yourself you're able to also feel more competent.

I am sorry to say that I do feel in a similar situation. I have not worked for a few years. I live alone. My friends have all gone away now and my family have dis-owned me too.
I was in a long term relationship , but that ended in 2006. I am now 41 but I feel and look 31. Its a strange feeling.
I kinda have feelings of social phobia. It comes upon me when I get outside. The thoughts of going out are great when thinking about it. When I am in a new situation though with new people I feel an anxious wave come over me. I think I know why this is though, I feel 'inferior' to the people around me (even though a lot of the time people think I am a walking 'Encyclopedia').

My T suggested that I channel what she thinks I would be good at. Peer support.
So I am going into training for peer support, and a view to training to go in to 'Drug Rehabilitation' support.
I think this will bring back my social skills. I used to be an actor would you believe (on stage). I never saw what I'm going through now coming. I do believe though with all my heart that we can change our perception's and improve what we see as negatives inside our self's.

Take good care.
I hoped this helped.

Hello:
I work helping people file disability claims so I wanted to share my experience with you on that.
In order to qualify, you need proof that you are unable to work, letters from doctors and other professionals, records of hospital admissions for mental illness. Proof that your illness prevents you from working for a year at least.
People that have been successful getting disability for mental illnesses include those with schizophrenia, bipolar, etc. I'm not saying your anxiety is not serious but it has to be so debilitating that you can not function-severe panic attacks(documented), suicidal depression requiring hospital admissions to be considered disabled.
So if you do not have the required proof you will most likely be denied.
I do know some people that have anxiety disorder that can work with the help of skills learned through a therapist and medications, and are successful.
I do not know any people that get SSDI for anxiety, but that's just my corner of the world.

Hi there everyone.
I wanted to thank you all for your kind advice.
I am going ahead and taking this temp job that I spoke of. I am going to get my feet wet and just take things day at a time and not worry about when I start. That is going to do nothing but make me even more anxious.
(((hugs)))) to you all and thank you so much.