[lostone]

This probably is going to make no sense at all, sorry to keep on and on...

Not sure what it is I'm feeling,, Anxiety, depression, I have no idea, maybe its a little of both! One day I will be so good, then the next, just overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain. How do I just feel good? Crazy question huh!
I havent seen my new therapist yet, I met him once and he was very RUDE, now I am a little iffy on going back to him..
IF only there were a majic button...

[jmo531]

What about seeking out a new T? I know how difficult it is to find a T that you are compatible with. Sometimes people have to see a few T's before they settle on one that fits them best. Dont give up.

I know how it feels to have those ups and downs. It sucks pure and simple. Just keep your head up and pressing on because you will get through this. Just let me know if you need anything. OK?

Huggles

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Can you explain HOW YOU FEEL? like are you fearful or sad ...thinking bad thoughts etc?? This may help as far as knowing where to place the thread and to be understood

I am sorry you feel so bad

[lostone]

I think its a little of both.. whenever I feel like this, I always think the worst in everything, then I start to think that I will never get better,, I know I will, but the thoughts just wont stop ya know?

[DaveyJones]

You sound a bit depressed, Jen...have you been under a lot of stress lately?

DJ

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Yeah I know its scary and depressing to think you may not get well and then you go up and down .....even on the way to well there are times with anxiety that you can have it and it may just be a day or week but then your mind wonders..when it will hit again..It helps to keep a Journal on all the good and bad days...and how bad and how good to look back on

[lostone]

yes, stress is my life lately... Not sure I really know what depression feels like,, I've always had SEVERE anxiety, and been told that I have depression as well, but I don't fully understand why. Even when things are goin good I still feel so crappy. I am just tired of feeling sick, tired of being unhappy! I want to get a job and be a good mom, but I just ... hell I don't even know anymore. Sorry.. today is just really hard

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Me too on the anxiety and I do not have clinical depression but time to time have reactive which is normal so I didn't know how to address the depression but the anxiety I know and HATE well.....It can really mess your productivity up...You may wanna read a lotta stuff in the anxiety area and a very helpful book is the ANXIETY AND PHOBIA WORKBOOK...I bet youre a good mom but I hear you...you wanna be the BEST YOU ..YOU can be

Hugs

[lostone]

Thanks for your replies..
And as far as the mom thing goes, I know my son knows I love him, but I want to be able to have energy to play with him, to not be so irritated, and not at him but with myself and this anxiety, so I take it out on my family, its destroying my relationship.
My boyfriend doesn't understand, for awhile he tried, but its like he just doesn't care anymore.. I need to leave, but I don't know how. I guess thats a whole new topic huh!!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

youre welcome.....I would worry more on you and your son bf's come and go....do you see a t? does your son? Sometimes that can help a lot and help see if it is even affecting your son much......I am sorry I know I am stuck too and it stinks.....and soon may be homeless ..then I will be stuck in another way....Your sons school may have a t

[lostone]

yea,, he was seeing a t at school for a year, his little brother two weeks before his 2nd birthday, he passed away. My son took it HARD and since then he is having emotional difficulties. I am just so scared that he will have the same problems that I am dealing with now, And that is something that I pray to god he doesn't get!!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Jen thats sad...I hope maybe a T at school can help again even if you tell the school T that you worry your anxiety will affect him

Hugs