[WobblyWombat]

I often find that face book is like being back in a high school class room
When I am down, I can't face it...no pun intended

I have to keep and eye on my daughters' account but

I use my own account with trepidation and rarely add or request friends

The potential of rejection or judgment I don't need...lol

Dose anyone else have similar feelings

Cheers

I use it to keep in touch with family, but sometimes that backfires. I recently posted that I'm so sick of politics I could puke, and from now until after election I'll be hiding all status updates that are political statements.

Most people agreed and "liked" my status.

One person answered that the solution to my "illness" was to vote for his candidate, and went on and on and on about the real CHANGE his candidate would make.

That person who blatantly ignored my wishes was my own brother.

Facebook isn't a great place to go for me when I'm feeling depressed, it just feels like everyone is 'rubbing it in' that they have better more exciting and fulfilling lives than me! I don't want to read status updates about their happy marriages, great careers, exotic holidays, their new cars, how they just got the latest iPhone, what a great time they're having on a Saturday night...or. about. every. Last. Little. Thing. Their. Kid. Does!! And I never know what to post anymore because I don't want to seem pathetic and boring. I don't even KNOW most of these people beyond 'oh yeah, I used to go to school with them..' - and I'm pretty sure they don't even like me. Facebook just reminds me of how little I fit in... Yet, I can't bring myself to delete my account...

I don't use facebook and tbh I am fed up hearing about it, It is everywhere you go nowadays, Even on a bus I see people on their phones updating statuses,Is there any need really? I was at a concert just last week and I couldn't help but notice that a girl who was sat in front was typing on facebook all the way through the concert, No escaping facebook.I don't think I would ever have facebook as I know it would not do my depression any good.

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Facebook isn't a great place to go for me when I'm feeling depressed, it just feels like everyone is 'rubbing it in' that they have better more exciting and fulfilling lives than me! I don't want to read status updates about their happy marriages, great careers, exotic holidays, their new cars, how they just got the latest iPhone, what a great time they're having on a Saturday night...or. about. every. Last. Little. Thing. Their. Kid. Does!! And I never know what to post anymore because I don't want to seem pathetic and boring. I don't even KNOW most of these people beyond 'oh yeah, I used to go to school with them..' - and I'm pretty sure they don't even like me. Facebook just reminds me of how little I fit in... Yet, I can't bring myself to delete my account...

Exactly how I feel & even when I deactivate it...I always find myself going right back to it 8\

[Notdamooma]

I did have to totally delete my facebook account. And I still find myself sneaking a peak now and then even though I know it is not healthy for my mental state right now. When I had my account I was obsessed with what everyone else was doing and I was seeking approval from the wrong family members who were actually toxic because they were sucking the life out of me with all their needs. I have since had to distance myself from them in order to put my mental needs first and part of that distance was deleting facebook. Does anyone else have these issues or am I just weird? There I go again seeking approval, heh. Well does anyone at least understand where I am coming from and if this idea helps someone, I am glad.

[lynn P.]

I agree - at first the idea was great and if its use the right way, it can be a great way to keep connected to family/friends that are far away. All to often though its a place of judgement and extreme fighting. There's a boy at my daughters school who bullies online and here's the typical things he'll say -
"blank is a failed abortion.....blank is raped by his/her parents......you can suck my ----".....put a bag over your head so I don't have to look at your face while I look at your b----". There's so much online bullying that happens. Encourage your daughter to have good privacy settings and block people who are mean. Don't have any pics even if they're a bathing suit because a person across the world can copy the pic and put it anywhere.

My kids have facebook and my youngest was bullied on facebook it is another reason I dislike it so much, Someone had set up a fake account in her name and caused so much crap for her, I was fuming that I got the police involved.

[pgrundy]

It's OK, but I admit I go through long periods of 'detox' during which I just have to avoid it altogether, and most of the rest of the net with it.

FB allowed me to reconnect with a few family members and friends I would otherwise not have seen again, and mostly that was a good experience. But I also reconnected with some people who aren't really my friends, never were, and still aren't, and had to withdraw from that.

Also, there's something about online stuff that feels bad for me, just in general. It's not like the real world. I can only take just so much of it, then I have to have a break from it.

[Minervas]

I use facebook mainly to keep in touch with family members and old friends from school. I don't post a whole lot of updates. Its mostly people posting about how great their lives are, and what not. Sometimes they just seem really fake to me. Life can't be that great, can it?

[snowgoose]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Facebook isn't a great place to go for me when I'm feeling depressed, it just feels like everyone is 'rubbing it in' that they have better more exciting and fulfilling lives than me! I don't want to read status updates about their happy marriages, great careers, exotic holidays, their new cars, how they just got the latest iPhone, what a great time they're having on a Saturday night...or. about. every. Last. Little. Thing. Their. Kid. Does!! And I never know what to post anymore because I don't want to seem pathetic and boring. I don't even KNOW most of these people beyond 'oh yeah, I used to go to school with them..' - and I'm pretty sure they don't even like me. Facebook just reminds me of how little I fit in... Yet, I can't bring myself to delete my account...

Ditto with me. I deactivated a couple of weeks ago but reactivated before it actually kicked in. The neglected lonely me wondered if maybe I might have a message but alas nothing. I deactivated again and I am resisting as best I can to stay away.

I had recently reconnected with a bunch of people from highschool. I am 57 so it goes back away. Highschool was one of the best times in my life. At least at school. It was my escape. Reconnected did not go well for me.

Like you guys it just made me feel horrible to compare our lives. I should have been where they are and feel so much shame for how far off the mark I am. I had to get off before they found me out.

What sealed the deal was when I snooped on my son's account (he left it open by mistake.... he won't friend me... I might embarrass him)... I saw pictures of family and family friends. I realized too that none of them were on my friends list. Out of sight out of mind kind of thing.

Pictures of family events and social gatherings.... see all the love and laughter. They are so happy. It just made me sad. It was just more evidence how far I have sunk and how detached I am from living. It was like being dead and looking down at the life I once had and the people who once loved me. It was disturbing to say the least.

Facebook is not the place for people like me.

[birdnesthair]

Facebook lost its initial intent a long time ago I think - people rarely use it for its intended purpose such as keeping in contact with family and old school friends, people they met on travel.. etc. I find people use it as the first port of call for contact now, forget ringing or texting someone.. just write on someones wall or send them a PM.

I feel sorry for the generation of children growing up with FB, bullying and harassment has gone through the roof since the popularity of social media has grown.

Originally Posted by snowgoose

...I had recently reconnected with a bunch of people from highschool. I am 57 so it goes back away. Highschool was one of the best times in my life... Like you guys it just made me feel horrible to compare our lives. I should have been where they are and feel so much shame for how far off the mark I am. I had to get off before they found me out...

This is exactly why -- though I debated it -- I never did contact any of them. Like you, it was one of the best times of my life (had actual friends! ), so it was tempting, you know? But. We were all on the same basic trajectory (v. good). Guess who never got anywhere? And I couldn't bear the thought of having to explain why I failed so spectacularly, you know? There was one guy (a h.s. friend, and briefly, BF) that I had learned has BP, and that one was the most tempting (I have BP too). Someone that might understand, and not judge. He got derailed in college being hospitalized in a manic episode. I got derailed by a massive depression that rendered me non-functional. Don't know if he got back on track or not (I didn't), but how much easier it would be to be able to say that, you know? And I really can't tell my story w/o divulging it. (I did ultimately not contact... it was near the time I quit FB altogether.)

Originally Posted by birdnesthair

.. I find people use it as the first port of call for contact now, forget ringing or texting someone.. just write on someones wall or send them a PM...

First? ONLY! This was a biggie for me too. The "best" part was basically being called ridiculous and out of step for not accepting that it was all I was going to get. They couldn't be bothered with anything of more substance, and said so outright. Way to make someone feel like they matter... Mind you, I only had about 15 people on there, so it's not as if we're talking far-flung barely-knows(!) Do I really need that? Emphatically, NO. I struggle enough with depression and self-esteem as it is.

You all brought up a lot of the problems I had with it. I DID delete acount. Over a year ago. And NEVER looked back.

[shezbut]

My experience with FB has been both positive and negative.

I was contacted by my sister through there, and she had been out of my life for many years prior. That was very positive for me ~ except it brought up a lot of rough memories too.

The negative is almost everything else about it. I avoid it 9 times out of 10. But every few months I'll respond to something. The FB site is the only contact that I have with any of my family. I'll leave it like that ~ I need that emotional & physical space.

[bluemountains]

FB is fine as long as I only check it 2-3 days as opposed to every few minutes. I learn too much about my friends through fb, more than I care to know! I am glad, though, for the opportunity to connect with friends I might not have otherwise known anything about their current lives. I very seldom post or comment on fb, but I am glad to be able to keep up with the people who are important to me.

I have an idea maybe we should all make accounts and add eachother and then we would know how one another are feeling......

[Sanada]

Hello WobblyWombat.

Yes I do feel like that. I have strong reservations about face book. I have only been 'on-line' since April this year. Even though I have studied computers and the history on the 'personal computer', and the www, and worked with them too, I have only been on-line in my home this year.
Good reasons 4 that, over the last 4 years I have seen a lot of pain and wild behaviour because of face book. e.g. - Waking to find house mate in tears because so and so said this about so and so and he said this and they all say this and ....aahhhhhhhhhhh...I think you get the idea.
I have avoided face book even more since I found out that 'Potential' employers are checking potential 'employees' face book accounts to see there personal lifes in the net.
Never mind the whole who will or wont be in my 'Friends' list...lol.

I avoid it really like the plauge.
(thats just me though, i do know f/b has some good sides too).
S

[amandalouise]

I use face book and have had no problems with it. Im very choosy who i "friend" I dont "friend" teen agers (Im an adult) unless they are the children of my friends and family. those teens that I do have befriended have great parents that monitor their kids pages and dont allow online bullying / fighting, swearing and all that other stuff that comes with being a teen.

I love facebook because they have all kinds of security options and settings. I can set things so that I only see my co workers status, in another "list" I can set it so that I only see my friends, in another "list" I only see the posts pertaining to those playing the same games that I am playing...

facebook also has ways to delete / hide any postings which I find to be annoying, inappropriate or offending.

[Unrigged64072835]

I have FB because my daughter has an account, plus when she was in show choir there was a group page where all the info was posted. I don't post much but my friends do, so it's fun to keep up with what they're doing. I also receive postings from bands that I like, shows that I watch, etc. Even my church has a group page!

Personally I can take it or leave it. When I was really depressed I wouldn't even get on the computer, much less FB. Now that I'm doing better I treat it like the tool it is. I'm on my class group page, but they mainly talk about meeting up at a bar that I'm 2000 miles away from so it's not really interesting.

[Charlie_J]

One day, we'll all know how to connect, but we'll have forgotten how to communicate.

I have a FB account, and I used to use it, but not any more.

I don't use a mobile phone any more either.

Thought I'd like an account...

Made one and realized that no one was interested in socializing. Yet, I had nothing to say to anyone, because I knew of nothing...

And so I abandoned my account on Facebook...

I never think of going on there again...

It was a waste of time for me...

[beauflow]

Facebook is a waste of time-- But I must admit i still use it-

mainly for contact for old hs buds, and 2 friends of my brother- so when he goes missing or i find something- can communicate- but I am about to drop one of his two friends on there due to they are waste of time and i get so mad with them.

I do find that Face Book is not the place to bring issues

I find that a few friends with some issues as I, do post things, and I see no one else really posts back anything- they are ignored. I tend to try to put Hug on their things or tell them they do deserve things and so on.

As as far as me posting things of when I am blue or enraged or whatever, i have found that too-- it is quiet sad- it has made me realize that it (facebook) is just a mask-- it is sort of like it is fake-- Everyone has happy lives, don't be real on it -- for real?

Then I get told- you should not post that on face book if you are feeling mad, it is not face book material

I thought face book was to be a social network, so if someone needed support- why not try to be social and help right?

but whatever- But ya know people post up fights with others and that is booming-- it is the juicy drama that humans go for..

I dont get it-

I find that I like to do some store contests or get coupons more so than actual socialize on there.

My boyfriend's sister is the only one that had posted a reply back on a note i made about my dx's- and she said she liked to hear more so she would not feel so alone with her stuff. (odd way of support but none the less it was kind hearted)

It is quiet sad... what was the purpose of face book again

If it was solely for job looking and that sort -- then I see , but it is not obviously

Be well all!

[seeker1950]

I went on Facebook and joined a while ago, then deactivated it. I rejoined, went back and tried to find a deactivation link, and couldn't find one! I'm SO wanting to cancel my membership.