[WobblyWombat]

As a child my dad, who also suffers BP, would regularly become outraged towards me for no apparent reason. I would be taken into the front room and punished and ordered to remain in the room. I could sit there for hours until he returned, usually full of sorrow. The reason I bring this up is that I suffer with agoraphobia and doorways fill me with dread, ie the front door or the backdoor. I brought this up to my Psychologist and how that if I could just force myself through the doorway I generally felt a lot better, once I had gone through and away from it....

We talked about it for some time and it was then that I recalled the punishment room and my dad's anger and how I was terrified to leave the front room and the possibility of making him more angry and all that he might do to me...It really made sense to me....This irrational fear of doorway might not be so irrational after all, maybe my inner child was still locked away in that room still terrified of being punished for no reason at all....

I know it might all seem way out there but does anyone else see where I am coming from.....

[Perna]

Yes, I definitely see where you are coming from. It is great when we can match up the old fears with how they have unconsciously been affecting us now so we can start working to put them behind us.

Have you ever made friends with an inanimate object like a doorway? You should try that, name a doorway in your home and sit on the floor with your back resting against it and talk to it, maybe get some water colors or children's washable crayons, etc. and do a little decorating of it? Tame it in other words, make it your own and a friend and that could help you with all of them. I wrote a children's story once for a class, we had to pick and use 5 words from a list in the story and one I chose was elevator and I made all my words (they were nouns/objects) animated, they were in a department store and the elevator I named "Otis" and now, whenever I get in an elevator, especially one made by them, I feel like they're friends. In the story, Otis, the elevator trapped a thief so he could be caught by the authorities.

[ECHOES]

It makes perfect sense.

[WobblyWombat]

That is a really cool why to look at it, thanks for the advice.....

[Perna]

I like doing fun things like that and it can work both ways; I once was having trouble with an office vending machine, was eating too much junk so turned it into a troll with snotty nose, ugly name, dirty fingernails, bad breath, etc. I actually felt a little afraid if I was in the work kitchen by myself, LOL.

As long as you know you have an excellent imagination and that it is you creating the character (think Jim Henson and the Muppets :-) it is a great use of creativity and imagination, I think.

[lynn P.]

I think you had a light bulb moment ((WobblyWombat)). I'm sorry you felt so afraid of your father. Most people understand common fears, like spiders, heights etc., but its harder to understand what seems irrational fears, but it doesn't have to make sense to be a real fear or phobia. I once saw an employee in the Dollar store and she had a phobia of balloons.

You're lucky to make that connection and I bet the agoraphobia is also related to fear of leaving a room, when you were a child. I think its so wrong for a child to afraid. I agree its best to challenge the fear in a positive way. I really like Perna's suggestion.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Perna

I like doing fun things like that and it can work both ways; I once was having trouble with an office vending machine, was eating too much junk so turned it into a troll with snotty nose, ugly name, dirty fingernails, bad breath, etc. I actually felt a little afraid if I was in the work kitchen by myself, LOL.

As long as you know you have an excellent imagination and that it is you creating the character (think Jim Henson and the Muppets :-) it is a great use of creativity and imagination, I think.

When I come upon a question about intrusive thoughts related to OCD or obsessive thinking - I tell them to imagine the thoughts are coming from a nasty little troll on their shoulder. The more they pay attention to the troll the more thoughts he throws and if you ignore/don't make a big deal...he'll fade away.

[Perna]

I don't have trouble with the thoughts because my logic and language are much better. The thoughts either "don't make sense" or self-deprecating insults have no substance and I can return fire at the "troll" or make fun of it and blow it off the shoulder

[WobblyWombat]

It so helpful to hear everyones ideas and thoughts....Thank you All

BIG Smile