Some Thoughts on Acceptance

(This isn't mine. I'm paraphasing where I can. The bold type (and thoughts in parentheses) is where I have highlighted thoughts, sentences, something I need to work on myself.)

Resentment only wastes your energy and keeps your creativity suppressed. Instead of resenting what has (past tense) happened, accept what is, and you put yourself in a position to do something about it. You do not always get the results you desire, and conditions are not always what you would like them to be. But you can always accept where you are and then move on.

In fact, the fastest way to move forward is to be realistic about where you are. Take stock of yourself or your situation objectively. Accept and acknowledge what you have to work with, and you'll begin to see plenty of possibilities.

Acceptance of what is does not mean that you're giving in or giving up on where you can go. In fact, by fully accepting where you are, you enable yourself to make positive use of everything available to you.

By accepting what is, you can make positive use of the triumphs and the disappointments (lessons). By letting go of your resentment and anger for what has been, you can put all your focus on the best of what CAN be.

Stop fighting the battles that are already over. Accept what is, and you've already begun to win.

Sometimes the best way to free yourself from a burden is to accept it. Much of the destructive essence of any burdensome situation comes from fighting against it. Once you stop fighting, you can start progressing. If there is a threat, you protect yourself against it. But there is no point in fighting against what already is. When you accept the situation, that is the starting point at which you begin to make the most of it. When you can go beyond acceptance into sincere gratitude (for the lesson learned), you take on a powerful positive momentum.

In short, accept what is, then find something positive about it. Even the most desperate situation has its positive aspects and possibilities. You'll uncover them only after you've accepted that the situation exists. Acceptance is not surrender. It is the recognition of reality. By clearly seeing what is, by acknowledging and even being grateful, you can move things forward toward the way you would like them to be.

Thanks.... for i can now see that i NEED to STOP fighting BATTLES that are already over - i need to learn to let GO and to let life be.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

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Stop fighting the battles that are already over. Accept what is, and you've already begun to win.


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Wow how true is that! I keep fighting battles that have already been fought and others have forgotten about it. Thanks for sharing this it really gave me something to think about.

Jbug

Excellent reading! I know that for me, Acceptance has been the answer to just about ALL my problems. I really like how this was put. Where's it from?

In fact, the fastest way to move forward is to be realistic about where you are

This is soo true.... in fact this whole entry is wonderful!!!! Thanks Tomi, I was having one of those days, you know the kind. Thanks for boosting me back up!

It's not easy, but once you realize you can stop fighting now, things go much easier!

i guess I have to learn to stop fighting...... I havent learned that part yet

It's amazing when you start taking stock of the battles you're still fighting and see how many and how useless! Sure doesn't leave much energy for much else!

To keep fighting just adds to the resentment and makes you a bitter person, for sure.

i have loads of resentment oinned up in side..knowing that i need to let them go... working on it...

Check your PMs, Hun!

me?

LMAO!!! Yeah! That's all you'll see is PMs from me!!

No, Sweety, that one was for Rayna.

my bad

It's like setting your boundaries, Sweetheart. When you notice that you're feeling angry or down, stop and think about why. Or... when memories come back to you, go over the memory and ask yourself, is this happening NOW? Chances are, they are not.

Think to yourself:
"It's in the PAST."
"What is, is, and I can't change the PAST."
"NOW what? Do I want to stay in the misery of the past, or do I want to see what's up ahead?"

This is where we tend to get stuck because we don't know what's up ahead. Take it from me, though. ANYTHING is better than reliving the past over and over again; holding grudges and resentments. That DOES NOT change anything.

This might be a good place to really listen to compliments you get and also do an objective survey of your strengths and your qualities.

Every time you come up with something negative, look at it as having learned a lesson; what didn't work and you'll know what does. If not, try something different even if you think it's wrong. At least it's movement. You won't be stagnating in the past.

Does that help you any??

yes, now all i have to do is remember this!!!
lately i have some thought come flooding in and i have a hard time sorting them out ya know

acceptance is... a process.

it isn't that we make a monumental decision to accept and abandon bitterness and resentment etc once and for all...

it is more that at various points we become aware of feeling a little (or a lot) bittter or resentful about something in particular.

i think it is about noticing those times. noticing that that is how we are feeling. and... sometimes it is about accepting those feelings too.

not trying to deny them
not trying to push them away
not trying to cling to them (by trying to justify them)
just accepting that we are feeling them

and feelings... come and go like waves crashing to the shore. feeling that...

the most useful theraputic tool i have been given is the concept that there are two things you can do:

1) try and change the thought / feeling / behaviour / situation
2) accept the thought / feeling / behaviour / situation

and it is about balancing those two things...
and that...
is a process.

That's absolutely correct, and if we were all to do that, accept our lives, then we'd all be better off.

Thank you for saying it.......it needed to be said.

Desirae

I need to read this about 1 million more times! I see it, hear it in my head, but to follow it would be extremely hard...anyone else think so?

It IS hard! And yes, it's a long process. Something I've learned to do with a whole lot of things is ask myself "What can I do about it?" Sometimes there's not much at all I can do about certain things, so I don't worry about it. If there is something I CAN do, then I figure out what it is I can do, no matter how small.

Like when I started having trouble walking or standing. I couldn't enjoy going out, I couldn't finish my grocery shopping, etc. So I went to the doctor. The fact that I have Degenerative Disk Desease and severe arthritis in my knees made it clear as to WHAT and WHY.

What I did about it was make use of my Disability and had my doctor write up an Rx for my power chair... and I got it! It's still a pain in the butt to go places because it's heavy and very cumbersome to load, but hey! I can cruise the mall now, do my grocery shopping, go places I hadn't gone in years!

Yeah, it was embarrasing to meet friends and people I hadn't seen in ages. Sometimes I have to explain why I'm in a wheel chair. It's annoying but it's better than staying home and rotting away!

I just flat refused to give up those things that I always enjoyed doing! I'll do it in whichever manner I can! I'll do whatever it takes.

Something that I've been battling with is going out with my girl friend because we can't take the power chair. We have to take the manual wheel chair. My strength in my arms isn't all that great so that I can push myself just anywhere. She is always ready to give a helpful push but I couldn't accept that she had to help me!! It was awful! So I talked to myself and asked if I was ready to give up our weekly outings or not. No, I wasn't! It took her and her mother to convince me to ACCEPT the help when it was offered because "We want to do it."

Yesterday was the first time I allowed my friend to push me when I couldn't make it anymore. She's quick to communicate to me how she can use MY help, which is wonderful... and fun(ny), sometimes!

I needed this thread again today. I'm very greatful it's still on the first page. Trying VERY HARD accept something that happened today. Nothing huge, but dissapointing indeed, causing some tears and some resentment. Has to do with getting rejected, not in the typical way, just finding out someone I'm interested is in a relationship, so rejection in a round about sort of way. My friend told me a phrase she once heard...."Rejection is God's protection". I absolutely love that and it helped (I wrote it on my mirror), but reading this thread helps too. Thanks again.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Rayna}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry!

I got a rejection today, too, that isn't any news, really. Still... Painful!!

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"Rejection is God's protection"

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Trying to assimilate that.

What if you feel that you've already accepted a rejection but it keeps getting drummed into your heart?? It still hurts!! Does it then become abuse?? And what becomes of God's protection??

The protection as I see it is simply that whoever/whatever rejected me will not be a part of my life in the way I thought I wanted it, therefore protecting me. It doesn't mean that I won't still see that person or thing. They won't just disappear. I just have to deal with the reminders if the reminders keep presenting themselves. But, the protection, for me, is that the person or thing won't participate in my life in a capacity to harm me, ie a relationship I think I want with someone but doesn't happen is protecting me from what that relationship might have done to me. I might still see that person every day, but I'm not in a relationship with them, therefore the relationship won't hurt me. It's up to me to figure out a way to deal with seeing that person every day. I hope I made some sense lol,I'm a bit tired. =)

I understand what you're saying and how your protection is working for you.

I Live with my rejection! I'm leaning on the side of Abuse now... so it's up to me if I continue living with it or send it on its way.

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I Live with my rejection! I'm leaning on the side of Abuse now... so it's up to me if I continue living with it or send it on its way.

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(((((((((Tomi)))))))))) At our age, I know what a difficult struggle that is.