Please..help.

I am 16 years old, turning 17 in a month. I have been suffering with something for almost 2 years now and it has effected my life greatly. In fact, it has taken over my life to the point where I don't even feel like I'm living. Problem is, I don't know that this problem is?

Starting freshman year of I was very outgoing and had alot of friends. I had a girlfriend who meant the world to me. We went out for a couple months, me being a stupid teenager fell in love with this girl. Months later, I got dumped and I felt lost. I thought that feeling was temporary. But that feeling of being lost and depressed continued for the whole summer. It progressively got worse. I do not have feelings for that girl anymore, but I think this event triggered something.. Idk. Either way, here I am my junior year of highschool. Struggling to stay alive. I think of suicide every single day of my life. I am miserable, yet I have absolutely no reason to be. I have a good group of close friends, about 6 or 7 really true bros who we always have each others backs and we hangout alot. But besiseds them, at school I honestly don't talk to too many people. It's weird.. At school I CANNOT act like myself. I am quiet, I just stare off into nothing and I just feel so uptight and not laid back like I used to be. I am currently on adderol for ADHD ever since start of sophmore year. The doctor figured my depression and lack of focus was because of ADHD and just overlooked the fact that I was depressed and thought of self harm. My hands are always sweaty and under my armpits sweat as well when I am just sitting there doing nothing! Just this makes my life harder because I need to worry about it.. My issues just get worse and worse, and I just keep getting more lost and lost as time goes on..

This is what goes on in my head: I do not believe I am here. I believe I'm in the driver seat, and my life is on cruise control. I talk to my self conscience all the time and over-think stuff way to much. I see all the other high-school kids who at school are all outgoing and whatnot, and I want to be that so bad but something is stopping me... I want to be in control of my thoughts, in control of my life, I want to be happy, I want to stay alive and not commit suicide.

This is me reaching out for help. Please, tell me what you think I could have..

Hi teen. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering! A positive is that you do not want to die! That show that you want to fight this. I think that first of all you must tell your doctor all this that you shared. My nephew was diagnosed with adhd and his medication turned him into a zombie. It can be that your current meds are not working with your body. To me you sound extremely depressed. So maybe you need to be on anti depressants? Ask your dr about that. You can also benefit greatly by finding a therapist who will walk a road to getting better with you. Keep yourself safe and I hope you find the help you need.

Im sorry doing that is called making a diagnosis and we are not allowed to diagnose each other. all we can do is tell you if we have felt the same ways you do and what it was called by our own treatment providers for our own problems.. yes I have felt the way you have, with m it was called many things....

bipolar disorder
seasonal depression
Dissociative disorders
DID
PTSD
anemia
sleep deprivation

and many others my doctors treated the problems many ways... medication, therapy ...

my suggestion for diagnosis and treatment contact your treatment providers (ie medical doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, school psychologist, school nurse...) or one near you. they can help you get the right diagnosis and treatment you may need.