[Luckyhalogirl]

So, as of this month it's been two years since I started walking again.this month has been really hard for me in so many way because I am as of now unable to resume the job I have had for the past year now. But this really all stems from October of 2009. I was a senior in high school. I had lost a substantial amount of weight and had decided that it was going to be the best year of my life. On the way to school one morning I flipped my truck and was thrown from the vehicle. Figures it was the first morningEVER that I didn't put on my seat belt. I broke my neck, both of my legs, my breastplate, lacerated my kidneys and a lung, and wound up in the hospital for two months. I mad a meraculous recovery in just 9 months and was able to attend prom in May of 2010. But things were different. I started driving in June and from then on it was all fine and dandy until newyears 2011 I was on my way home from a friends house and it was horrible. Everything felt like it was in slo-mo I got really hot and shaky, I couldn't breath, I got a wierd taste in the back of my throat, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I lost depth perseption and started freaking out. I pulled over on the side of the roJad and went crazy trying to calm myself down. I sat there do ten minutes and onece I was calm started driving again. When I got home all I could think about was what would've happened if I had have happened if Id have passed out. Ever since then I've been fighting this whole "I'm outrunning death" irrationality. I know it's not a sane though and most of the time I can throw it on the back burner but when I get in a vehicle there's no stopping it. Could someone please help me make sense of this Paranoia!

[Trippin2.0]

Don't be so hard on yourself, please you've been through a traumatic experience with the accident and your recovery process. It's only natural to feel triggered behind the wheel bcoz of what happened to you
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Do you have a therapist you could talk to, to help you process your fear and guide you on your way forward? I think it would help.
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You are not outrunning death, tho I can understand how you came to that conclusion. The fact is, it wasn't your time, you didn't do anything wrong by surviving. Death is not trying to catch you bcoz you escaped it's clutches. You are meant to be alive
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Really admire your remarkable recovery, it says a great deal about your character. You're resillient and an overcomer, and you can overcome this too.
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Take care

[brightonimplant]

Don't be hard to your life, Everyone face a problem, it doesn't mean that there is no hope for them, Just remember one thing after a black nite there is a new day, start your life with a new day. Don't loose hope.

[likewater]

Luckyhalogirl, wow. I am so proud of you. You are going to be just fine. Do you have Therapist? You have been through a huge
Traumatic event. You need time to heal and process. The mind has to heal just like the body. Also, it is a miracle you are here. I am so glad you are with us. I'm sorry for your pain. Wishing you peace and healing and unimaginably good things.

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by Luckyhalogirl

Everything felt like it was in slo-mo I got really hot and shaky, I couldn't breath, I got a wierd taste in the back of my throat, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I lost depth perseption and started freaking out.

You have made it through one heck of an accident! I can understand your high anxiety. Do see a doctor about what's outlined above, just to be on the safe side. There are possible physical reasons that need to be ruled out.

I wish you the very best & welcome to PC!

[madisgram]

welcome lucky to pc. so glad u're doing well after so many issues from the accident.
i was in 2 bad accidents within 6 months of each other-not my fault. one a head on collision. i'm still concerned about that but have brought that fear under control. after the second one- while on the interstate someone fell asleep at the wheel right next to me. i honked as a warning-they were coming into my lane. didn't know the lady was asleep. she overcorrected when i woke her up with the honk. ended up hitting me broadside at a high speed. i still have anxiety if someone drives close to me 6 yrs. later.
it sounds like to me u're having a panic attack-can't breathe. not able to calm down, etc. pulling off the road was the best thing you did. when i had them one helpful thing i did was to mentally tell myself i wasn't going to die from the symptoms of the panic attack. hard to do but i'd calm down faster.
maybe do some driving in places u're familiar with and little traffic that will give you renewed confidence and slowly you will feel more comfortable driving.

[Luckyhalogirl]

Wow, thank you everyone. It was really a shot in the dark me posting this on here. I was so unsure that anyone would reply with any kind of helpful tips. So, I'm really amazed and thankful for all of the advice and incouraging tips from you guys. Thank you really. I've right now been selling artwork to try to afford a therapist. That was my main reason for coming on here, was to try and find some help that I could get now while waiting. So again, thanks

[momluvslgg]

Hi Luckyhalogirl! I'm glad you reached out to find help for what you experienced. It is understandable based on what you went through from your previous car accident. You have been through so much and are truly a survivor! Since you mentioned you might be interested in talking to a therapist, did you know that Focus on the Family at focusonthefamily.com offers free phone counseling and referrals. In my time with their organization, I have often referred my family and friends to their helpful resources. I'm praying that you will continually sense God's plan of healing and restoration for your life!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Luckyhalogirl

I pulled over on the side of the road and went crazy trying to calm myself down.

Sounds like you could use a little therapy to help with dealing with the original accident (my therapist explains that when disaster happens, we deal with it and then fall apart after, when it's "safe" to; my car was in an accident (I was at the gas station calling for help; did not even see it get rear-ended/totalled!) and weeks later I would get really anxious driving by the same same spot. In addition, learning some calming skills might come in handy? :-)

Good luck to you! Sounds like you have had a really rough time of it! I'm glad your body healed so well.

[lizardlady]

Luckyhalogirl, I'm going to echo what others said. What you described sounds like a panic attack. Pulling off the road was the best thing you could do. Someone else mentioned self-talk to tell yourself you can/will get through it. Good advice.

You mention selling artwork to pay for therap. I don't know where you live, but some places have community mental health centers that charge on a sliding scale.

You might try checking out the PTSD forum here. The folks there have had similar experiences to yours.

[Luckyhalogirl]

So, I got in my truck the other day and drove the 10miles from my home to the grocerie store. It was extremely scary at first but through a series of breathing exercises and a couple of newfound calming techniques I was able to make it there and back with minimal freak out. . So needless to say for the moment everything is getting better.

[Trippin2.0]

That's great a real accomplishment. Thanks for letting us know about your progress