[EJ711]

Hi All,

I can't believe it, but I got triggered big time Monday at my 25-min. medication monitoring session. This is a once every three months or so.

I know this was not intentional on p-doc's part. Let's face it all kind of miscommunication can occur in a 25-min. session.

I had a very controlling and rigid mother. I can't believe my p-doc's suggestion about getting up at the same time everyday (perfectly logical mind you) earlier in the day, hit my mother button. My mother has been dead nine years now, and I am still struggling to become my own person. I have been making great strides in this area, and have been feeling more confident and content recently than in my whole life.

My mother was always making suggestions.

In the interest of not making this post hugely long, I am trying to summarize some. I came in with my good news about doing well in my new teaching career, and being offered additional classes. My father (I have a father button too) barely batted an eye when I used to come home with report cards with almost or all A's on them. He didn't think I should go to college, because I was a girl. My brother was a Cornell and Harvard graduate.

It sounded like p-doc said I was sleeping too much, when in reality, I've been sleeping about eight hours a day. This was related to some miscommunication.

The bottom line is I felt like I was attacked, when in fact I know he didn't mean it that way.

I tried getting up earlier yesterday, but was simply exhausted. Was too tired to get my work done, so I went back to bed. Anyway -- long story short, now I feel like my whole rhythm of life is OFF.

I was happy as a clam on Monday, and now I'm like a grumpy bear who would like to bite someone's head off. Promise to not bite anyone who responds.

EJ

[Zen888]

Hi EJ

First of all I'd like to give you a hug (((((((((((EJ)))))))))))

I have experienced similar situations with various psychiatrists/therapists. What I have learn and come to accept is that I am angry and hurt with what my mom and dad did or didnt do to me. Not my psychiatrist/therapist. The doctors words although sometimes misguided and not intended to hurt...hurt all the same.

I recommend that you speak again with your doctor or psychologist/therapist....and tell them what the psychiatrist said without embelishment and then tell them your reaction to it (what did you feel when the doctor said what he/she said to you?)...I believe once you are grounded and get back to a "feeling" state and not a reactionary state...you may not be so upset and disappointed with this doctor.

Dubz

[EJ711]

Dubz -

Thanks for your timely post.

Yes, you're right I've been in reactionary mode. Boy, did I feel like the psychiatrist got in my space big time.

I am not seeing a therapist currently, because of monetary and geographic reasons. I usually can work things through fairly well on my own.

I was just shocked that someone not intending to hit my buttons, could do such a thorough job. Plus I was surprised by my reaction. I have worked so hard on my issues. You tend to think that you will get through it at some point. LOL

I've been working so hard to become an adult who is allowed to make her own decisions (mother tried to hold me back in this area), that I'm amazed how I reacted to the psychiatrist suggesting a time for me to get up in the morning.

Hugs,

EJ

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

8 hours is normal...if he misunderstood thats his fault you pay him and all....But can you ask if what he meant was MOVING your sleep time..If youre like me you may sleep odd but 8 hrs and most PDOCS AND ALL want you to go to bed early and get up early..yuck....I tried that and felt worse..now I go to bed as BAM would say..whenever I **** I want

[EJ711]

Sleeps -

Yes I feel better on a slightly looser schedule. What is the point of working at home, if you can't work when you want to. I've been meeting all my deadlines, and when I get enough rest I work extremely efficiently. I just don't want to be treated like a child. I think his tone was off somehow.

Thanks for your input. I just couldn't believe what a bad reaction I had to his comments. It is the first time he's triggered me.

Hugs, EJ

[SeptemberMorn]

EJ, there's nothing wrong with saying "I feel triggered when you speak to me as if I was a child. Please don't do it."

Triggers are awful and tenacious! Just when you think no one can push that button again, WHAM! Off it goes! It will get better.

[EJ711]

September Morn -

I have made such great strides in feeling and being in control of my own life, I didn't know anybody could make me feel like that. The session was only for medication monitoring, so it was only 25-mins. long. I didn't realize what had happened until maybe the next day.

I haven't been triggered about anything for a long time, but today I was triggered about a work issue.

We've also had another tornado watch all day today.

EJ

i'm sorry that you had such a rough time. it doesn't help us to have the endless tornado problems, does it? i saw a wall cloud the other night, during lightning strikes, that scared the bejesus out of me. it didn't produce anything...here.......xoxoxo pat

[January]

((((((((((((((((( EJ )))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Those darn buttons hang with us long after the person who put them there has passed.

Do what you need to feel well. Ok?

Hugs,

Jan

[rarenmotherof7]

Hi, I'm sorry that you are suffering from sleep, I'm having a big problem myself with it I'm a mom of 7 and yeah I know how important it is to go to bed and get up at the same time everyday, but I really have problems with this so your not alone. We have few good days and it would be nice to have a pat on the back once in a while when were making progress!!!

[eskielover]

I know that everybody has their own internal clock that works best for them. Even when I was working as an aerospace engineer, I would come home late at night from work & then sleep until I woke up naturally (without a dang alarm clock). I would always make it there for meetings when necessary, but mostly was able to work on my own schedule that fit my own needs. At the end of my working, I was in a group that forced me to be in early in the morning, work, take lunch break, & go home with everyone else. Grumpy wasn't even a close description to how I felt. Then when the Northridge Earthquake hit, I really lost it when it took 6 hours to drive to work & 6 hours home. I had someone to carpool with luckily, it was still forced hours that didn't work for me......that was when the stress landed me on disability. I think it is important to be on the schedule that works for your body, & not what someone else dictates.

The other issue about your pdoc pushing that trigger.....I think is would really be a good idea when you see him again to explain that his suggestion was a trigger, but remember that suggestions are not necessarly a demand, so let it go in one ear & out the other. If necessary, it would be completely appropriate to explaine to him how it triggered you. The next time, he might be more sensitive to you because he will know you just that much better with that communication.

Debbie

[EJ711]

Jan -

Thanks for your good wishes.

I just wish I could find the button to put me back where I was emotionally before the p-doc's comment through me for a loop.

Hugs,

EJ

[EJ711]

Debbie -

I will let him know, except I won't be going back for three months. My mother used to make suggestions almost constantly. So why I understand why this triggered me, I'm also frustrated with myself that I had this reaction. His comment about sleeping on schedule, also seemed to totally conflict with what he had told me previously. So I think I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore either. Instead of being all upset that I do not have a full-time career at this point, letting myself sleep til I wake has been a way of rewarding myself and enjoying life. It also makes me more productive.

I'm sorry about the loss of your foal.

Hugs,

EJ