[twofaces]

As if they can come into my head...

Seriously do they think my mind works same as others? With ADHD and anxiety disorder? They try so hard to try to fake a psychotherapist, but they fail so hard...

That makes me depressed and helpless even more.

In here, I'm referring 'they' to my real life friends..

[Fresia]

I so can relate to the frustration you describe. I'm sorry to hear you are having to contend with this.
Some of my friends who think they know about my MI, think they knew how it affected me, told me how I should be doing things, or how I should pursue treatment; I had and have to wonder because at times I do not even understand my MI myself, how can anyone else KNOW?! Really, how can they know?! I do however appreciate some of their attempts which may be surprising, despite how awkward as these attempts are, as I have since learned they are trying to relate to me and to understand what I am going through; they are trying in the only way they know to be there for me, despite CLEARLY having no idea how to be. Though it may not turn out to be the most helpful way, they do try. So I now appreciate even the unhelpful/"bad" attempts; they are not therapists and neither am I, both trying to sort it all out but we are only human and unfortunately mistakes are a given. It would be nice if all knew what was most helpful but no one is perfect. However, if we do know what can do to help, we can explain this to our friends and family with the hope they will be there to listen, take it in, learn from each other, and go from there, ideally. Unfortunately, it is not always the case that they will listen and take what we say to heart and so, true friends begin to show.

It has taken a lot of patience, time, and courage to let them in as to what is really going on so they do understand and so they are not left to make bad assumptions. I am sending you the courage for the same patience and perseverence in standing up and caring for yourself while helping others to understand. It is worth it in the end. Hang in there!

[sarek]

I have ADD(not hyperactive) and some social anxiety myself, as well as being a very strong introvert. This combination screws with every aspect of every moment of my life. An eight hour working day feels like 24 hours and before half the week is done I am worn out.

Its just like coming from another planet. I am surrounded by aliens and all I can do is pretend to be one of them.

[twofaces]

Originally Posted by Fresia

I so can relate to the frustration you describe. I'm sorry to hear you are having to contend with this.
Some of my friends who think they know about my MI, think they knew how it affected me, told me how I should be doing things, or how I should pursue treatment; I had and have to wonder because at times I do not even understand my MI myself, how can anyone else KNOW?! Really, how can they know?! I do however appreciate some of their attempts which may be surprising, despite how awkward as these attempts are, as I have since learned they are trying to relate to me and to understand what I am going through; they are trying in the only way they know to be there for me, despite CLEARLY having no idea how to be. Though it may not turn out to be the most helpful way, they do try. So I now appreciate even the unhelpful/"bad" attempts; they are not therapists and neither am I, both trying to sort it all out but we are only human and unfortunately mistakes are a given. It would be nice if all knew what was most helpful but no one is perfect. However, if we do know what can do to help, we can explain this to our friends and family with the hope they will be there to listen, take it in, learn from each other, and go from there, ideally. Unfortunately, it is not always the case that they will listen and take what we say to heart and so, true friends begin to show.

It has taken a lot of patience, time, and courage to let them in as to what is really going on so they do understand and so they are not left to make bad assumptions. I am sending you the courage for the same patience and perseverence in standing up and caring for yourself while helping others to understand. It is worth it in the end. Hang in there!

I had a fight with a friend who doesn't understand me and thinks that I blame everyone for any problems that happen.. While the reality is that I blame myself the most, and have no place in my mind to blame on others for it.

And even my parents don't think its some kind of problem, that it is ridiculous. This feeling of not being understood, and being perceived as normal human being with different personality stresses me out ALOT.

Because people are so ignorant and try to rationalize themselves, they just go on and do the worst things they could do to someone like me. (Yelling, pressuring so hard to do work quickly)

[twofaces]

Originally Posted by sarek

I have ADD(not hyperactive) and some social anxiety myself, as well as being a very strong introvert. This combination screws with every aspect of every moment of my life. An eight hour working day feels like 24 hours and before half the week is done I am worn out.

Its just like coming from another planet. I am surrounded by aliens and all I can do is pretend to be one of them.

Agree SO MUCH on what you said... Earth is not my planet ******mit :/

[No Fuse No Flame]

It is discouraging when family and /or freinds think they know what is going on in my mind, or how you got this way.
To make it worse they give some advise that's supposed to solve everything. If I don't immediatley do what they say and am not instantly cured then I am not trying hard enough or not listening.
All this does is make things worse.

[emotionalteen]

Originally Posted by lit fuse

It is discouraging when family and /or freinds think they know what is going on in my mind, or how you got this way.
To make it worse they give some advise that's supposed to solve everything. If I don't immediatley do what they say and am not instantly cured then I am not trying hard enough or not listening.
All this does is make things worse.

I agree family doesn't know what is going on through our minds and it really sucks.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by lit fuse

It is discouraging when family and /or freinds think they know what is going on in my mind, or how you got this way.
To make it worse they give some advise that's supposed to solve everything. If I don't immediatley do what they say and am not instantly cured then I am not trying hard enough or not listening.
All this does is make things worse.

((To all that are struggling in this thread))),

Sigh, I can truely relate to this statement and all of the above. Yes, is is extremely frustrating when other people in our lives think "they" have some quick remedy to our struggles. This happens to me all the time and is a tremendous sourse of stress in my ability to deal with my genuine struggle.

It is really important to make efforts to learn that other people are basically ignorant when it comes to truely being able to understand "our" issues when we deal with some kind of mental illness.

I find that I get extremely discouraged when I get so bad and make an effort to express my need to find better ways to cope. Unfortunately all I am really doing is barking up the same tree that will continue to just stand there with it's own branches of gaining resources to fill "it's needs". So all I am really doing is repeating the same course for my continued disappointment in actually gaining the help and sympathy I really need to my "genuine problem".

The "only" way to fill this ongoing need is to find a "tree of wisdom" that can truely respect our genuine need and give us the correct feedback that "will" help us "deal" and "heal". This is what we call a "therapist" and it takes time to find a "therapist" that we can connect with that can help us learn to "deal" with our very real unique needs that are causing us to struggle at managing our everyday challenges of life.

Yes, often "they think they know", and it is important to remember that "they do not know". And yes, "they will continue to give the wrong answers or guidance" as long as we express our need for a help they truely do not know how to answer correctly.

So be kind to yourself, and go to someone that knows how to actually help, or someone who shares the same issue who can give you some constructive support.

I am not saying to "not have friends", I am saying that you have to find a way to interact with these "friends" on a level of just knowing that they just do not have the capactity to understand "whatever your special needs happen to be".

Open Eyes

[Odee]

If I were in your position, I'd tell my buddies this: "You're not my psychotherapist and I don't need you to try and solve my problems. I just want you to listen and understand."

Your friends can HELP by doing things, not saying them. You know much more about your condition than them.

[sunblossom]

Its hard for friends and family to watch us suffer. They can't relate to why we suffer but the suffer right along side of us for the lack of any ability to help. That is what I see in my friends and family. It is painful to not be able to help a loved one out of their suffering. They want us to be happy and because they can't know what we experience they are lost and that has to be hard to handle.

Its hard when you don't have any where else to turn but to friends or family. I have run the course with my people. I don't want to cause them any more grief so I put on the performances as required and I fake gratitude for their helpful advise. I know they mean well and I also know that the basis of what they are suggesting has merit. I just don't have the capacity to get any significant results. But they don't need to know the details of my life. And most importantly, I don't need them to understand what my life is like. It will make no difference to either of us to talk about it. They can't fix me but I can spare them the pain of trying.

I don't have access to a therapist. They cost money and getting to one cost money. Money I need for food and shelter. I don't think I am unique. I think there are a lot of us left alone to find our way through life with a mental disorder. I can't afford meds nor do I have access to any one doctor long enough to actually forge out a treatment strategy. I seem to somehow always fall through the cracks when I go searching for help. It just never seems to be there beyond the crisis.

Science knows very very little about mental disorders so how can we expect the average person to know much about it either. Give them all a break is what I say. They are doing the best they can to love us and accept us and help us and why.... because they care. They care that we suffer. I have decided to leave it there. I feel the hurt of not having someone fill the void..... just one person who gets it.... but I am not putting that on my friends and family. That would be abusive of me. I lvoe them back for loving me and I give them air to advice and 'help' me but I don' take it personally.

[No Fuse No Flame]

Originally Posted by sunblossom

Its hard for friends and family to watch us suffer. They can't relate to why we suffer but the suffer right along side of us for the lack of any ability to help. That is what I see in my friends and family. It is painful to not be able to help a loved one out of their suffering. They want us to be happy and because they can't know what we experience they are lost and that has to be hard to handle.

Its hard when you don't have any where else to turn but to friends or family. I have run the course with my people. I don't want to cause them any more grief so I put on the performances as required and I fake gratitude for their helpful advise. I know they mean well and I also know that the basis of what they are suggesting has merit. I just don't have the capacity to get any significant results. But they don't need to know the details of my life. And most importantly, I don't need them to understand what my life is like. It will make no difference to either of us to talk about it. They can't fix me but I can spare them the pain of trying.

I don't have access to a therapist. They cost money and getting to one cost money. Money I need for food and shelter. I don't think I am unique. I think there are a lot of us left alone to find our way through life with a mental disorder. I can't afford meds nor do I have access to any one doctor long enough to actually forge out a treatment strategy. I seem to somehow always fall through the cracks when I go searching for help. It just never seems to be there beyond the crisis.

Science knows very very little about mental disorders so how can we expect the average person to know much about it either. Give them all a break is what I say. They are doing the best they can to love us and accept us and help us and why.... because they care. They care that we suffer. I have decided to leave it there. I feel the hurt of not having someone fill the void..... just one person who gets it.... but I am not putting that on my friends and family. That would be abusive of me. I lvoe them back for loving me and I give them air to advice and 'help' me but I don' take it personally.

Wow, Now I know I'm truely not alone. Couldn't have put it better.