[kimmydawn]

very sad.

shocked.

thoughtful about what can happen and my future role in self-protection.

concern for my family here at my home within my home.

thougtful about my role in helping with healing.

I know alot of us are feeling so much. That's what I feel mostly right now. What do you feel?

(Please keep posts to your own feelings and not point out anyone's else's as wrong or inappropriate even though you might not agree with, or understand, them. Feelings are feelings, and there's usually a reason for them...even if we don't understand.)

KD

[Twisted_Soul]

I feel betrayed.
I feel lost.
My Little feels abandoned and confused.
I feel hurt.

[mrb020377]

i feel confused.
i feel lost.
i feel scared.
i feel doubtful.
i feel worried

[Sabrina]

I have also had a multitude of feeling course through me since this started. I am not even able to put words to them but I would have to say that you named some of them very aptly.

Many of my feelings and thoughts have also been with wi_fighter. I have tried to imagine how I might feel if this happened to me and I can't.

[LMo]

I feel ok. Not experiencing much emotion right now. I'm relieved that my friend is feeling better after a horrible weekend.

[Gemstone]

I feel:

scared
sad
conned
untrusting
very unsettled
vulnerable

[SeptemberMorn]

Shocked

Angry

Somewhat vulnerable

Taken advantage of

I've been told I have a very suspicious nature. Maybe so. But it has kept me from getting hurt badly in the long run. Maybe my early years taught me to be very cautious, maybe even hyper watchful. For that I'm glad.

[BlueFaith]

I feel shocked mostly, and a little hurt and betrayed. Mostly I am feeling ok today, though.

[bebop]

I feel I can't trust anymore. hurt

Sad
Confused
vulnerable
like hiding

[gardenergirl]

I feel shocked and saddened, but otherwise okay. I'm sad for those who have been affected by this the most, and I wish I had the power to make it okay.

gg

[(JD)]

((((gg)))) You sure helped me through some of it

[Twisted_Soul]

I feel used!!!!

[wi_fighter]

I feel...

Violated. Because I had no warning that I should think about readying to defend myself.

Misunderstood. Did the agency see that there are forums for problems I don't have and assume that just because those forums are in here that I must have every one of those ailments or disorders or whatever word you think is the best description?

Worried - that this agency has the ability to notify other agencies and shelters to not allow me to adopt from anyone, just because those forums exist in here that have some of the highest stigma percentages in mental health, even among patients themselves.

Unsupportive. Because I spit out hurtful words.

Saddened. That it had to hurt so many people indirectly, even people who were friends with the attacker.

[wisewoman]

I feel very confused. Lost.
I feel the advocate in me wanting to jump on the backs of the animal shelters for what appears to be discrimination.
Otherwise just dead.

[lenjan]

How do I feel? Well, at the moment, I'm in the middle of a panic attack about it. I haven't had one in long enough to forget how awful they are.

I feel extremely violated. Even though my nickname among my friends and colleagues is Skeptic -- and with good, good reason -- I try hard to believe the best about everyone until proven otherwise. It's easier for me to be skeptical about "facts" than people, although there are those who immediately push the "watch out" button for me.

I feel a little stupid. I have been online since the days of BITNET -- back when only universities and the govt. had email and chat capabilities, long before the Web -- and I guess in almost 20 years I have gotten a little complacent. I don't think twice about buying things online. I sign my real first name here, and my general location. Although I know from firsthand experience that email can be retrieved and read -- a former boss did it to me, wanna talk about violating trust? -- I won't send a postcard with identifying info on it, but I'll say anything in email without a second thought.

I feel extraordinarily sad for the 99.9% of good people on this site who are now questioning everything. I feel TREMENDOUSLY sad for my friend wi-fighter, the victim of a truly malicious person. I worry that I have p*ssed off someone here enough that someone will do something similar to me.

Overwhelmingly, I'm just really, really sad, and feeling a good deal less safe.



Candy

[Fuzzybear]

scared
hurt
sad
conned (deceived)
confused
untrusting
growly

Im just sort of..

Well this might explain it better.

Im sitting back sort of in a daze looking like bugs did when he hit his head with all the little birdies whirling around it.

Woah.

grappling to understand something with no point perhaps.

lots of shock/disbeleif for sure.

[pegasus]

[Lexicon78]

Well, on the exterior I feel somewhat happy and all. But when I take a look inside, on the interior, I feel scared, unsafe, vulnerable, monstrous, and alone.

Thanks to Doc John filling in the missing pieces to this situation I am no longer confused as to what happened and what I need to do to protect myself. But I am still shocked at myself. I am usually real great at seeing or noticing an abuser symptom, trait whatever you want to call it. When I was doing my public speaking engagements I could walk into a room and I could look around and then write on a piece of paper the number and who was most likely been abused and has abuser traits just by hearing the way the people are talking or standing, sitting and so on. and every time my friend and I would compare notes and after the engagement responses and I would hit the nail right on the hear every time.

rereading the threads and posts here all the clues, traits and so on were right out there plain as day and I missed it.

the realization that this could have been me in a heartbeat because some how I had let my guard down is right in front of my right now.

I know in time this feeling will lessen but thanks to this past weeks "lesson" about on line predators it will be a long time before I forget to protect myself.