I can hear so much pain here.
I am sure the mods and Doc John are hearing it too, because we know they care about us and give up time to help us.
Can we, having expressed our hurt, allow them time to show us the full picture?

[bebop]

I agree. I am waiting also. I do think however people need to be able to put their feelings in here about it. I don't think it is the money thing myself but more being feeling of "not belonging"

[nothemama8]

Maybe if we look at it as the old saying goes "To many Cheif, not enough Indians" in organizations they have boards and not everyone can be a boardmember, we need MEMBERS

[Mystry]

I think the Doc is need of a big group hug right about now because in case we all have forgotten who started PC and who keeps this site up and running...I must say though that I was a bit hurt by the wording of his post but then I thought to myself...yeah I do think once in awhile...lol...to me PC is a privelege not a right...so I really have no right to be hurt and every reason to be grateful...

[ErinBear]

I hope it is okay to write here.

I guess when I first saw the announcement, I felt a little confused, and sad, because I knew it was an area in which I could not participate. But then I thought about DocJohn's good intentions, because he set up this wonderful place for our benefit, and I was imagining he has good intentions with this new area as well, even if it is a private area. And I started thinking about all of the areas in which I can participate...some of which are so busy that I can't even read all of the messages! So for the moment, I decided to just let it be this situation be a hopeful kind of unknown thing, or a bit confused, and be okay about it - and assume it is a good kind of confused, and something good will come of it, and try to focus instead on the good parts of the forum in which I have been and still am participating, which keep me plenty busy!!! I guess that was the way I tried to figure it out. I decided to just think about what I am able to participate in, rather than what I can't. I don't know if it will make any sense, but I decided to post, and I hope it's okay.

I know this is hard and it was hard for me initially too, and I send caring thoughts to everyone who is having a hard time.

I also want to say thank you again to DocJohn and the moderators who work so hard to make this place run. I am so grateful for all the support and kindness I've experienced here. It's been a big help to me. Thanks to everyone who comes here and shares messages and support. I'm very grateful for this place.

Take care,
ErinBear

[LMo]

I like the way you expressed yourself in this last post Petunia. I'm sorry ((( Petunia )))

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Kitty,

I think a lot of us are stuck on our own issues and can't see the big picture. I did just come from my session with T and he said (not related directly to this) that we forget everyone may have their own issues happening in their lives that make them react the way they do.

I understand more is yet to come and I understand why moderators and administrators need a forum of their own. They work behind the scenes and need to communicate privately about "stuff". I can also understand, as you said, that people are recognized for their achievements at work, at home, within the community. This recognition is done to make them feel special and that they have done something worthwhile to be recognized and set apart from others for. It's also a way to create incentive. I know I am annoyed by the fact that everyone at work gets the same raise, even though some of us work harder than others. I feel like my efforts, in that situation, are not recognized, because we are all treated the same.

But, this is different. It's excluding people for no appearant reason - yes, I will wait to see what else is coming. I have no personal interaction with Doc John so I cannot put an emotional tag on my thoughts here. I do appreciate what he has provided here - several members have literally saved my life, even if they don't know it. Psych Central has helped me grow in so many ways and allowed my "alters" to express when they haven't been able toanywhere else for 40 years. You can only imagine the psychological impact that has had on my life.

But, I'm asking everyone to understand that exclusion in this particular instance does make a person feel belittled for the efforts that they have been able to provide. Board members have their private meetings and no one likes secrecy. It makes them feel like something is being hiden from them. For me, this exclusion makes me feel like I have no been supportive and don't belong. Yes, my issues. But I feel they have substance, as does everyone else.

Tell me, since this forum is up and running, what do people in this club discuss? Do they talk about us? Yes, I'm sure the mods and admins talk about what goes on in the forums, for our safety. But please fill us in on what happens in this new forum? Are you sharing kudos and affirmations? Thinking of new ways to improve the site? Do you see what I'm getting at? What kind of issues exclude everyone else? If it's the cream of the crop that is allowed in - how are we supposed to feel? And wouldn't we all benefit from that kind of insight?

Respectfully,
Songbird

I can understand the reasoning behind it. But I do think that with all of the trust issues that have taken place on this board over the last little while, this simply doesn't seem like a good time to venture into something new, something that people may be further afraid of.

Perhaps if the board were feeling more stable, it would be not so difficult to take ourselves the extra mile and assume that it is being done for good reasons and that it is not going to be a source of pain or mistrust.

I think it should be noted that everyone is still a little mistrustful of the board right now, or so it feels to me, and its still a little shaky though it is getting better.

Bottom line - I think it is an ok idea, but not right now. I think if anything changes should be made to affect the stability and security of the board first, and then venture into something like this.

there is one thing that i want to make very, very clear. i do not mean to denigrate anyone's contributions that they have made to the forum. this is not about money. it's about being excluded and it is about feeling that the caring support that many have given isn't worth as much as we thought it was.

i explained, personally, this a.m. that i wasn't knocking the contributors. i guess that i didn't go far enough in my explanation. i had to go to work and it had to be quick. sorry.

again, i'm glad that people can contribute. i'm just confused about why they deserve a private forum.

yes, yes, yes, there are many different forums here. BUT, i'm not excluded from any of them. no one is.

KD, we need to keep this out in the open. i appreciate your position, but the members have been upset enough about what just happened. shutting this thread will only bring more hurt.

we'll wait for an explanation and wait to see what else is going to be offered. we'll wait.

pat

[kimmydawn]

Pat,

I agree that this should be kept open. That is up to the members here. I've worked against locking this thread by taking other actions.

As long as people remain respectful to every person who might view this, I have no problems.

I also appreciate the several of you who have accepted me enough to allow for the explanation of the implementation of the additional criteria for the new forum.

kd

KD

thanks alot, KD......

[SeptemberMorn]

But there ARE other forums that are closed! You just don't know about them! They are SERVICE for you forums! There's very good reason to have them closed.

This isn't at all about money or who writes better than the next person. This is not about whether you support other members or not or if you do a good job it or not! Some of us have just been called into SERVICE! This IS for the membership in general and how we can make it a BETTER place.

Those of you that are hurting, you're hurting for naught. Honestly! Why are you hurting if you don't even know what may or may not happen; what is or what is not? Have a little faith in Doc John. Deep down in your hearts, you KNOW he wouldn't do ANYTHING to hurt us!

Like I've said before, WAIT AND SEE. And I've said this before, too: STOP, THINK, ACT... as opposed to a knee-jerk reaction.

[radio_flyer]

Maybe it is my age, but I sure don't feel folks that wrote an article for the newsletter or even contributed to funds are any better than me...There are lots of folks that have more money than me, can write better than me, thinner than me, or even more beautiful.. I am who I am.

If you notice, all the folks defending the room are the folks that can go there.. lol... "rolls me eyes" just for fun.......So they are thinking we are feeling less than.. That isn't the issue for me.....The issue is some folks are handed special prividleges and I don't can't see what they did to deserve special recognition.......

But if you look at it this way... It is just another page on the computer.. Maybe different colors...Maybe more options.. But heck, it isn't like they are being given a special pass for pool privileges, a key to the "president's bathroom, saunas, or special luxeries. grins It is just another space on the internet...

Yes we are talking about PC. The only reason I mentioned the other sites was as examples of the obvious -

Most if not all on line therapy and support groups have a private forum and to gain access the person who wants access must fulfill certain criteria.

The only difference in them and here is that the person registering knows at the time of the registration process which forums they have access to and what needs to be done to gain access to the other more private area.

What Doc John is doing is no different from thousands of other online groups.

The difference is us.

We happen to already be members of the site as the new area is going up and working the bugs out.

But still that is no different from when he added each different section hear. The blog area, the community boards, resourses and so on. They all went through a process of those items being taken out of say the general area and given their own message board otherwise known as forums.

It takes time to get all the bugs and criteria outlined for each and every message board.

We just happen to be hear as the changes are being put into effect and the criteria for accessing that new area is being worked out.

There are many people here that don't like change and dont like differences being pointed out.

Whether or not we like it Change is a part of every online website including PC. and a part of life.

Whether or not we like it our differences are already pointed out here by each of the different message boards - sexual abuse survivors, PTSD people, Bipolar people, Dissociative Disorders people and so on. If there are any threads and posts when those boards were added you will see that this same thing that is happening here in this thread happened in those. I was here when Doc John first added the blog area and there were some people who hated the idea of having to read more intept things by having to go to a diffierent area but the blog area made for a fantastic change here.

I have no doubt that Doc Johns rough draft of the private forum will be a great addition to this site. For he has made fantastic ideas come true with each and every separate area message board and sections for research and so on.

All Doc John is asking for is ---

MORE TIME -

he needs to work out the bugs and criteria and so on.

He has pointed out that supporters to the news letter and financial support was the firt to be added to that private area and more is to come.

If any one her ever says they need more time to process t heir thoughts into actions do we all gang up on that person?

No we all post to them things like - "Take all the time you need, " "we're here when you are ready to talk about it" "if we can help in any way let us know"

We can do that for ourselves and other members here but we cant show the same non biased support for Doc John just because he has a project that he is trying to process his thoughts into actions on?"

Doc John may have been the one that started this site and does alot of the professional stuff but he is also seen as a fellow member here. And as a fellow member here he is trying to process his thoughts into action and that action happens to be a way to make this site grow and become an even better place.

He has asked us for more time. Just like each and every member here who asks for more time is entitled to it so is Doc John.

Doc John -
Take all the time you need.
I am here when you are ready to talk to us
If I can help in any way please let me know

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Myself,

I like to help people. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel worthwhile and it makes me feel extremely good to know that I might have given someone a little smile or just a few minutes reprieve from whatever it is that they are hurting from.

Can I joing the new forum? I like to help people and am a great troubleshooter. That's what I do - improve that which needs improving.

Songbird

[Greenleaves]

PC just doesn't feel safe to me anymore.

[desirae]

This has all saddened me. I feel the sense of departing and separation already. There's the contributors who feel they are being attacked and that they are worthy of this separate forum, and there are those who have not contributed cash, (but support), and are not permitted into this separate forum. Feelings hurt, backlashes, arguing, and feeling extremely offended are the results of this separate forum. It's already happened, what are we waiting to see exactly?

What I see is what's happening now!

IDK, what can be done? We can sit here and bicker and complain about this issue, we can just accept that this has happened and maybe it will inspire us to contribute next time, or we can take our name and leave.

All I know is I will never be able to contribute because of my own personal financial status. But maybe one day I could write a little something....who knows.

I'm moving on, this has exhausted me and I'd hate to offend anybody.......or even keep thinking about this.

Everywhere we go in this world there is some type of segregation.....we accept it then, just accept it now.

Also thank you everybody for speaking your truth.....I appreciate this freedom and the respect we have for it.

[desirae]

Green- I've been feeling this sense of change before this announcement was even made. So many regulars have left because of some conflict that happened while I was away. I did make a post to ask why this was happening, and it was deleted for some reasons....not exactly sure why, but I accepted this person knew what they were talking about.

Maybe it's just a phase, a temporary one.....everything in life has it's rocks, you know what I mean. I'm hoping this will all pass and eventually things will smooth out as they were before.

If not, many more will leave....I'm going to wait it out for awhile, but if this continues to happen I may take a temporary break.

It's hard enough to deal with our real worlds. It's sad when the place we use as a refuge has become just as complicated.

Stick with us Green, give it a little time okay.

****Tomi said,

This isn't at all about money or who writes better than the next person. This is not about whether you support other members or not or if you do a good job it or not! Some of us have just been called into SERVICE! This IS for the membership in general and how we can make it a BETTER place.******

Tomi, please re-read Doc's "invitation" and get back to us. i've always scored very high on comprehension tests. i guess i've lost that skill.

this has given me a terrible headache and i prefer the NBA for the evening.

i hope that everyone has a nice day and enjoys the rest of the weekend. xoxoxopat/ethel/fayeroe/pattynearlynormal

[(JD)]

Amazing. You gave us a whole thread to share what we would like to see in a new, ideal, mental health site, and when you begin to make good changes here as an additional perk, not only do some consider it unacceptable, but as a negative implication.

I think it's a matter of trust. Most things here are, imo. We need to trust you to do what is good and best for this site; you have so much expertise, and history of doing this. It saddens me somewhat to realize that some members are still unable to give the benefit of a doubt. But imo that with the recent events, emotions are on edge still. I hope all of us can square our thinking around and get on board, give you time to develop more good things for PC!

((((PC MEMBERS))))) hang in there!

[mymindistoast]

The use of the word, "supporter," confuses me. I think anyone who comes to this site and sincerely responds to posts or helps people in there time in need in chat are supporters of Psych Central.

a hug for you, Rafel...Patrice

[(JD)]

I support you fayerody...I appreciate your outspokeness. Sometimes sites like these need those who do voice their opinions in different ways. I'm feeling sad that you are feeling excluded in this, and for the time being it appears you have been excluded. I know of a few members who may not be on that forum right now, who "should" be in the future. Don't think that anyone who is truly supportive will be left out, I don't believe that will happen.

With all the thousands of members who have joined here, there is a core of active members who do contribute to the betterment of the other members. I guess it just takes time to sort things through??? IDK.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mymindistoast said:
The use of the word, "supporter," confuses me. I think anyone who comes to this site and sincerely responds to posts or helps people in there time in need in chat are supporters of Psych Central.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I wonder if perhaps the post was simply worded poorly. Perhaps what was intended and what was written are just off?

Perhaps we should ask docjohn to explain again to us what exactly this forum is going to be.

[radio_flyer]

If I recall, the thread for what would be an ideal forum was meant for a forum for all to participate in... not a few select..... hmmmmmm I don't consider an ideal forum for a "select few" as a good thing.