craziest one here

For lack of a better term I feel like the craziest person here. I have not left my house innnnnnnn 6 days, called out wednesday and last night, cry most of the day, couldn't even get motivated to hang with my best friend now I have not heard from her since Sunday and have tried calling, my meds don't work, I can't afford them anyway, I still expect someone NOT to play games with me and lie because he is supposed to be a friend but noooooooo....when i want to go to sleep I can't sleep but when I wanna be awake I fall asleep. I wanna be awake and alert and not feel crappy in the morning so i can find a day job because i think the night shift is screwing me up more, I'm probably fired from my current job because I keep calling out, I can't seem to flow with the current changes in my life at all, I'm afaid to hang with most of my friends because most of them are guys, the two friends I feel okay around aren't around enough, the past I dunno six or so years have compounded into one big heaping thought of craziness and chaos in my head because I haven't moved on from one thing to move from the other and the other, i just sit in my house like a ffin idiot then at the end of the day I feel like crap because I sat in my house like an ffin idiot not doing a damn thing but sleeping, thinking, peeing, showering, and smoking. And I HATE smoking but can't seem to quit ffin doing it! I don't know what to do, don't know what feels right, don't know what thought is rational and what isn't, am I right to think this way? am i overanalyzing or did I analyze just right? rarrrrr!!!!!!! I used to be able to find or do something that would gimme a little boost for maybe a week then I have to find something else to gimme a boost cause the pervious weeks boost does not work anymore, now I cant seem to find a darn thing to get me moving!

hi....

i have not left my house since thursday except on bizarre trips in my car i can't really remember now. i like this little comfortable couch im on and i cant seem to want to move. i also have not slept in 2 or 3 nights. i know that isolation game

It sucks its like i want to leave but cant

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And i cant get off PC or facebook

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anyway sorry....lol....im just like errrrrrr wanna jummp outta my damn skin and just throw something or go off on somebody

i hope i move on the 22nd because i volunteerd at SARCs festival fundraiser and i will feel like a douche if i dont show up

omg make me shutup

Hey you can vent as much as you want...

and i ve seen a lot of people crazier than you here but after all dont we all crazy here?

Hugs

Bless your heart. Oh gosh how I remember being in a slump like that. I drove me NUTS. UNTIL i got up enough energy and gumption to make an appointment with a therapist, and I actually kept the appointment! Go figure!

Getting into therapy was the best thing I could have done for myself. i found out that i was clinically depressed. AFter I'd been in therapy for a few sessions, my therapist sent me to my medical doctor to be put on medication! LOL After I got on medication I went back to my therapist and continued therapy. I'm so glad I did. We delved into the deep, dark valleys of my past, and it was indeed scary, but it was necessary. We got rid of a lot of garbage, and then we continued from there. I'm not saying it wasn't painful cause it certainly was -- but it had to be done.

I hope you will consider therapy. Sooner or later you're going to HAVE to . There's no way to avoid it. You may as well go sooner than later. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Hi tricia...I had to google SARC. Good thing to help out with. The 22nd is a ways away. I hope you feel better and make it there. I have at times been in a bad zone for days as well. But I find they go as easily as they come. I hope this one passes soon. I know everything is feeling wrong but it's not. You're having a bad spell of time. It isn't always as bad as this is it. Just realize that the intensity will lessen. Then you'll regain some strength. And then... the best thing would be to do the SARC thing like you planned. Don't give any bad feelings a chance to return as strong. Once you get back to more your normal the volunteer thing will be easier. I'm sure of that. I figure you do a fair amount of things probably when not feeling really low. Staying busy when feeling abit better always seems to help. I find it tough to deal out hugs in real life let alone online but here's a bunch. They're all sincere, the whole bushel. *grin*Just ride it out Tricia. It'll give you a break soon.

Day....8 grr least i showered

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Im not sure how to respond to that one lol

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Some days we just do need to take little steps... even if they don't seem big we should still give ourselves some kudos for them...

Kudos for shower

Trici you are wonderful don't forget that-- and remember-- all humans are a little crazy, even if it is in their own ways or if "accepted" by society.. no getting around that everyone has a little nut in them

Boy, you are having a hard time and I'm so sorry about that. Like the others said. This horrible feeling will pass. Just know that there are a lot of people here who care and are sharing you bad time with you. You might want to consider therapy as leed said if you can afford it.