HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON! :)

There are some who have asserted that because all I did was nurture an unplanned, ill-timed pregnancy for 9 months and then spend 18 hours in labor getting the kid into the world, I am not a mother.

However, since human beings do not reproduce asexually, it sort of requires "parents" in order for there to BE "children," so I'm going to believe that, although I chose -- CHOSE -- to relinquish my child to the loving arms of others because I could not care for him as I would have liked to, I meet the definition of parenthood. And I would like to wish my smart, cute, talented, wonderful-beautiful boy a very happy 18th birthday today!

His adoptive mom tracked me down a couple of years ago, so we have some contact, although I haven't met my one remaining life's goal yet, which is to look him in the eye, tell him I love him, and give him a big, fat hug. I figure after that, whether it's a year from now or 30 years from now, if I get hit by a bus on the way home, I'll be good to go.

Yeah, I wasn't there to kiss the scraped knees and help with the math homework, and my CHOICE created a lifetime of depression and PTSD for me, although it was the best thing for him. But I don't love him any less than the woman he knows as "Mom" does. In fact, I loved him more -- I gave him a good life, at the expense of one for myself.

Happy birthday, baby boy. I love you tons.



Candy

{{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}}

Your sacrifice for your son shows just how much of a GOOD mother you are. You may not have been there to kiss the boo-boos but you made sure someone just as loving was there! She's done right by him. I hope you're proud of yourself for having the wisdom and the intestinal fortitude to do what was best for your son. That was a very selfless act on your part! I admire you for it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, {{{{{{{{C!!}}}}}}}}}}

Candy, with me having my nephew, I think you know where I stand on this issue...clearly.

Bless the mothers (as well as fathers) who love their children in that EXTRA way...extra thinking and actions caused by life, life circustance, and love.

The baby's parents tried, but knew that they couldn't. They love him enough to let someone else be the main caretaker in his world...despite what people say about it (and people can be mean sometimes).

Bless the parents (the ones who give birth, the ones who don't and the ones who do both) who go the EXTRA mile for our innocents. Those who want the best for them, in ALL aspects...

Candy, bless you for doing extra and we get to know through you, that it is all well.

Yep, happy birthday, Candy's son. *sweet tears*

KD

candybear, i admire you! I have a friend that had a son 4 years ago this july she knew that she couldnt care for him and chose to give him up for adoption.. So many people shuned her for doing this.

To me, this is the most unselfish act of love there is...
your post made me cry. You are a mother no matter who was there so kiss the boo boos and make them feel better! I admire you so much!!!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((candybear)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

How sweet, candybear. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing that.

((((((((Candybear))))))))))))))))
I'm with Jennie, I got a little heavy in the chest when I read your post. I'm hoping you get to realize your final goal. Hugs for your son and the family who adopted him
And a great BIG hug for you!!!!

Happy birthday baby boy, birth mom and adoptive mom. Everyone got the gift.

((((((((((((((((( Candy )))))))))))))))))

Oh, Candy! You are indeed, a wonderful, wonderful Mom, with a capital "M".

Hugs,

Jan

to your SON!! - he is blessed to have a MOTHER that cared so much for HIM.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

It angers me to think that someone could have the guts to say that you aren't a mother! You expressed such unselfishness and only thought of your son and the life he would have. Most parents, male or female, would've kept the child and just dealt with it, trying to keep the child and hope for the best. You, on the other hand, thought of the life he would have with you and decided that you couldn't offer him all that he needed. Super kudos to you!

Thank you, Lexi. I couldn't agree with you more. Sadly, it was somebody at PC who had the nerve to say that to me.

I put up pics from his HS graduation yesterday in the gallery -- go take a look!

Love, Candy

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} He is SO HANDSOME!!! And he looks just like YOU! You have every reason to be proud of him and of YOU for being so selfless!

Happy Birthday to candybears son. What a handsome boy he is. I am sorry that someone hurt you. You are his mom and always will be. You did what was best for him which takes courage and love.

That is very heart warming. You are a very good person. Sometimes that decision as a mother can be the best life altering gift she can give. I truly believe that.

Your baby boys turning into a man. I bet your proud.

(((((((((((((Candy Bear and Son)))))))))))))