Why don't I want to bathe?

Hello,
Man i don't understand your situation you have nay mental depression or anxiety or you have phobia of water?

I have a rule that makes me shower daily. I don't allow myself to leave the bathroom w/o showering in the morning. So I can procrastinate all I want but it's in the bathroom.

Even when I am doing ok mentally, everyday seems a little excessive.

Not meaning to go too off-topic, but I think there are a lot of misunderstandings about hygiene. Keeping your hands fairly clean is important, since you touch your face, food maybe and so on. But showering or bathing your whole body, no one did that 50 years ago. And they weren't sick from it.

Even when I was a kid in the 70s, you didn't bath more than once or twice a week. Between you washed your face, hands, pits. You always washed in the morning. Today people would think this was disgusting.

I'm not saying that to discourage anyone from showering every day if they feel it is important, but you don't need that for plain health reasons. On the contrary, the hygiene hypothesis pretty much includes that parents make their kids too clean so they develop allergies.

I think somehow making it a habit is important. The more we think about things the harder they get. Doing it the same every time might help. I don't know.

All I know is that I hate getting wet and that a rabbit lives in my bathroom!

Mine is more get wet, get soaped up, wash hair. Brush teeth, untangle hair. Good enough for me! And no, I don't even use deodorant... my friend is extremely allergic to it and will get asthma.

I was commenting more on the fact that this thread has spored some tension that I was simply trying to help alleviate by pointing out that each users' point of view on here is intended to be well meaning advice.

As for you Jimrat, I was not suggesting daily bathing, there's nothing wrong with a couple of times a week. My great grandmother washes "the essentials" every morning in the sink and takes a bath 2-3 times a month. My grandma, her daughter, hates the feeling of water on her face. She washes her 'essentials' daily by sink. She washes her hair twice a week over the kitchen sink, just to avoid water running down her face. Due to allergies, she doesn't use deodorant, lotion, perfume; nothing but plain antibacterial soap. I understand this. If this is a method you are using then fine. But they're are health implications to not bathing. Your necessary wash parts listed earlier are exactly right but it also includes bottom private areas as well, front and back. I wasn't trying to be rude. But this thread seemed to be consistent with the idea of not washing yourself at all, which you now seem to be contradicting. I'm not trying to be rude or judgmental, I really want to help any way I can. I'm just saying that somewhat reg. bathing (in some form) is essential to your health. Yeast and other fungi will begin to grow on your skin after prolonged lack of hygiene, especially under your arms, genitals, and if your heavier in any folds of the skin.

All anyone here is doing is trying to speak in your best interest. I'm so sorry that you have taken what seems like offense to what many posters have said. As far as the rabbit, put it somewhere else to live, it's that simple, that's just an excuse. The not wearing deodorant because of allergies. That's not that uncommon. That is optional, as well as lotions, perfumes, etc. Some people those things make them feel nice others it's a terrible thing to endure. I'm only asking you to be healthy in your practices. If you NEVER bathe at all, that's unhealthy. If you are taking some time out of each week to some form of hygiene ( brushing teeth, or using soap on the 'essentials' the other stuff is extra if you don't like it you don't like it). Please don't take offense to what I'm saying. I'm just trying to be helpful. Best wishes to you

I usually brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on some deodorant because I sweat a lot and it annoys me. Honestly though I kind of want to just take a pair of scissors to my hair and do away with it, bored of it I guess and all I do is sit in my room at my moms place unless I go to a friend or other family members house waiting on appointments and SSI and going out in the chaotic public too much is really pretty stressful so I try to avoid it.

I don't have a suggestion for why you don't bathe, other than the reasons stated before me. However if you live with someone maybe get them to remind you to do it every few days until you get into the habit (which takes 21 days to form) and then try for every other day, again until it's a habit. Then try for every day. I'm speaking from how I'm starting to do it because bathe to me is beyond and chore that I'd have around the house or anything and I just can't seem bring myself to turn on the water and get it to the right temperature and actually unclothe and then get in and do all the motions there and get out and dry off. Just typing it makes me want to curl up in a ball and lay down for a while to rest. But that's my biggest suggestion.
Something else you might try is making a calendar that you put stars on for everything that you accomplished that day (different colors for different things) or do a chore chart that they have for kids, and write over some of the chores to add your own of what you struggle with doing like taking a shower/bath. Then reward yourself at the end of week for all that you accomplished. Though this may be hard because, from personal experience, when I don't want to bathe I usually don't want to do anything but sleep or lay around. (now I'm starting to add to get on here and write to people because it makes me feel good about myself to share even one small thing to someone that might help.) But if that's your reward, laying down and sleeping or just doing nothing, then so be it until you have the energy to actually do something positive and nice for yourself.
Just two suggestions. Best of luck and wishes to you.
Kelly

I think positive enforcement is good. Too bad depression often tells us we aren't allowed to pat ourselves on the backs for "small" things. Or I bet it would help the mood some to have a rewarding feeling. So a concrete thing with stars might actually help. And it would give a sense of overview as well.

Sometimes I wonder if it is two things that make people shower less when depressed. One is clearly motivation and energy. But another thing... that I can't explain. I heard people rather washing in more complicated ways than showering or bathing and they still find their method easier when they are depressed. Maybe there is a sense of vulnerability like innate... when you're both naked and down?... IDK.

Jimrat,

What's wrong with "Time to hose down?" That's akin to a term of endearment in my family.

It's right up there with, "Get that slop outta my face, an' cook me up some good eats, you little pink piece a s***!"

Ahhhh good times,

-Fleeing Bellocq

Not maintaining your personal hygiene is the first indication that something is going wrong with you....fight it degas.

HI Degas, how goes it? Did the meds you were prescribed coincide with when you became like this? Are there other daily habits that you're tending to ignore for an unexplained reason? I don't think anyone has asked you this...have you perhaps begun feeling a little phobic about bathing, or an aspect of it, for some reason? Depression has the effect of diminishing energy etc as was already mentioned. Are you eating normally? Getting daily or weekly chores done? Is it just the shower thing and that's all you've noticed? You did mention your depression has been pretty reduced.

Sorry for all the questions Degas but lastly, would you mention this to your doctor if for some reason you suspected it may not particularly be a result of depression? Oh damn...one more...sorry...may we ask what meds or med you take? In particular the one you started just before you noticed you were not bathing regularly anymore. Cheers Degas. Hope the day goes well.

I was happy to see this thread because I've run into this problem and have asked myself, why don't I want to shower? I get depressed easy and am not on any meds to give you an idea of where I am. Lack of motivation is a big one, which comes form being depressed. Being naked and getting wet means you have to FEEL and if you are down that can be very shocking. They used to throw people in the shower years ago in mental institutions to shock them out of behaviors. Health people have come to the conclusion that daily showers are not good for the skin. PTA baths are good(pits, tits and ***) can you handle that? When I was with my sister as she was dying, I realized that I hadn't brushed my hair for 3 days! My brotherinlaw suffers from depression and lives in the country and when he had to go to town he'd run deodorant up and down on the thighs of his jeans and said, ready to go...haha. I work with dogs and they prefer a little funk and if I haven't showered, I spray myself with vinnegar and vanilla extract to "freshen up". You're not alone, man, its part of the dis-ease...you're okay and normal for this dis-ease, just do the best you can for now....it's because it's hard to FEEL!

As far as not being able to shower I have been there with depressions three times I used to have to crawl
Into the bathroom just to get in there. Something in the shower about facing my body and personal
Grooming I dont know it is hard to but into words but showering makes you face yourself in an intimate
Way. Also showering equals caring and at some level I did not care. I dont know how to tell you to do it but I do know for older people they have these personal hygiene wipes that are large that take the dirt off.

How old are you; I went through a period in my late teens and 20's where I wouldn't bathe like that; I believe a lot of it had to do with my upbringing/ongoing relationship with my stepmother; even in my 20's and later when I had long since moved out of my parents house into my own living relationship and was in therapy, etc.

Do you have/have you had anyone you perceive as "controlling" in your life? I think, for me, it was a little like eating/not eating is for women with anorexia (like Karen Carpenter).

Healing and Plum add wise things I think.

Also I actually did give the bunny a bath too. Not at the same time though.

I don't know why I don't like to bathe either. It has been a problem for me for quite some time now. Before I was diagnosed with my disorders/illnesses, like early college and before, I never had a problem with showers.

Part of it might be a self esteem issue, as in, "since I look like crap anyway, what's the point?"

It also has to do with the depression I feel, that I don't really care. I rather just lay and be comfortable and not even bother doing anything. I don't feel as if I shower my life is going to change. Shower or not, I'm going to be the depressed recluse that I usually am no matter what. I know that's a terrible way to think, and I'm going to therapy to try to stop thinking that way But that's the rut I get myself into sometimes.

I know that logically if I do take a shower it'll make me feel good. And it does, 100% of the time. I guess what I want to figure out is why I don't want to do something that I know helps me. Not only hygiene wise, but mentally too.

I take a shower usually every other day, which I guess isn't that bad. I'm not sweaty or anything

I would like to get better at this, though.

-KAT

I had a serious breakdown some years ago, and have found it difficult to shower ever since then.

Sometimes I have to write out the steps involved, and then make myself follow each step.

Sometimes I think it is because it is 'isolating' to be in the bathroom with the door shut and the water running.

Sometimes if I pamper myself a little bit ahead of time, that can help. Sometimes I need to eat something first. Or to get warm.

From time to time it has helped me to write down that I don't want to take a shower, and to write out how I feel about it. Then it will be easier to get started.

Sometimes I use a list of three simple steps:
1: Lay out the clothes I will put on afterward. (I like to do this, and it does help.)

2: Put on some great music. (My personal preferences are Beach Boys and Creedence Clearwater Revival.)

3: Turn on the hot water.

So I've accumulated a number of little tricks to help me get get going and get into the shower. They all help, but there's still almost always that bit of resistance.

Actually, I think there are quite a few of us who are shower-resisters. Sometimes it has to do with depression, but I think it often has to do with isolation.

Same to all of this. Particularly the hair thing. My hair is currently at pixie length because I simply do NOT have the patience to comb, dry, and put up long-*** hair. It simplifies bathroom stuff immeasurably,

So true. It is an intimate process. For me--being severely overweight and in an average-to-small shower where I bump into all the different bath washes, etc.--I really hate it; I hate having to feel my body. It is quite an intimate process, more than I'd like. It doesn't help too that our bathroom is tiny, so as soon as I get out, there's little room to even turn around.

That plays conjunction with the showering equals caring. I just got back from a long trip, and I cannot find my bathing stuff anywhere; I know it's here cause I got something outa the bag couple days ago. I could use my bf's stuff, but my allergies have crept up awful lately, and I'm so dizzy I'm afraid I would fall in the shower (we need to get one of those sticky pads for the tub floor). Since I'm not up to going anywhere, I don't care too much if I've had the same clothes on a couple days. When I start to stink, or my hair itches (yay dandruff), that's kind of my limit; then I make myself get in. But feeling physically bad, then compounding it with the regular stress has made me go, "Sleep, **** it."

I'm with ya, Degas, and everyone else who's expressed similar issues.