[Zen888]

Hello Everyone

I live alone and have very few friends...I know I sound like a sap!

I've been told get out ... join a club....etc. I want to create meaningful friendships not just a casual friend...etc.

On the flip side I'd also like to have a bf.

I am not a sporty person at all. I enjoy travelling, gardening, cooking, pets, (god I sound like an old lady), shopping, home renovations/design...etc.

I am just at a lose as to where/how "to get a life"!

Ideas? Suggestions? Comments?

Dubz

[Lexicon78]

To answer your original question (name of the thread), yes on every day that ends in "Y".

Dubz, we must be living the same life. I think I have one friend...none that share the same interests or anything like that. And no, the answer isn't to "get out" or to go to a club or something like that. I'm probably the last person you should be asking...

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone at all.

I'm probably the least girliest woman you could ever meet! My interests include mental health, health in general, archaeology, genealogy, the paranormal, anthropology, religions (ancient ones), and anything else that's intellectual or anything that would definitely cause a stir of emotions. The only thing I can really relate to is the love of animals. Beyond that, I'm sure I'm on my own...

[sweetpeajr]

I feel the same way so often. I am not comfortable around people all the time, but I am lonely being by myself so much. I am trying to find a support group in my area. Have you tried any?

[Zen888]

Hello

I do feel comfortable with other ppl. It's creating friendships...getting them started and maintained....I just feel so lonely and old.

Dubz

[PsychStudent74]

I know you said going out isn't the answer but when I don't get out some I start to feel lonely for adult conversation. (hubby is working out of town) Also if I don't get out I have no reason to get dressed or put on make-up. When you look at yourself day after day like that you are going to feel unattractive. My advice get up in the morning put something you think you look good in on, fix your hair and make-up and find something to do! You like to garden so go to home depot and find something for your garden. Do you know how many men are in stores like that? They have home renovation stuff also. Did I say there was men there also? lol Men are everywhere but knocking on your front door if they don't know you exsist. Hey, I meet my husband driving down I-240 doing 70 mph.

[SeptemberMorn]

Dubz, if you enjoy gardening, you could join a Rosarian club, Fushia club or even an African Violet club. I know the AV clubs give you cuttings.

Have you taken classes in Interior Design? You could check out your Jr. College to see if they have any classes in that!

[DavidStrong]

I feel like this all the time. Casual friends often become meaningful friends, though it's not easy. Everything has to start some time. Do you live in a rural area? Thankfully for me, in the city it's much easier to meet people. Though city living does present other problems.

[drunksunflower]

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PsychStudent74 said:
I know you said going out isn't the answer but when I don't get out some I start to feel lonely for adult conversation. (hubby is working out of town) Also if I don't get out I have no reason to get dressed or put on make-up. When you look at yourself day after day like that you are going to feel unattractive. My advice get up in the morning put something you think you look good in on, fix your hair and make-up and find something to do! You like to garden so go to home depot and find something for your garden. Do you know how many men are in stores like that? They have home renovation stuff also. Did I say there was men there also? lol Men are everywhere but knocking on your front door if they don't know you exsist. Hey, I meet my husband driving down I-240 doing 70 mph.

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That is awesome advice ... if I put on some smudgy eyeliner and lip gloss and my favourite jeans ... i immediately get this little BOOST


And what sept said about taking community college course ... i did spanish for a while ... definitely gives u a new challenge to think about (and who knows what hotties might be doin it too ... )

[tracylee]

Well, I have found it very hard to make friends here in england, i have lived here since 2003 and i started work straight away, the people from work are all my son's age, which makes me feel like their mum or aunt.

Due to the paranoia thing, i do find it hard to make friends so i tend to stick with my animals (2 snakes and cat) my boyfriend and my family, then of course, i have the problem with actually going out at all, i do my grocery shopping online because i just cannot go out. it sucks. i have become the opposite of what i used to be.

Thank god for animals though. Reading, internet, cable and my bed.

I agree, i really agree. I feel like this quite often. I dont think it has that much to do with age, and dont feel old, because all of those things you mentioned I love and heck I am only 23.

[Zen888]

Hello Psychstudent74

I'll try your idea...get all dolled up and find something to do everyday. Home Depot? I am clueless about home renos...I'm more into home design/decorating! haha I dont live in a rural area I live in a major city.

Take Care,

Dubz

[PsychStudent74]

I hope it works out for you! TC They are going to be bowing at your feet!

[mlyn]

Yes, feel all those things and am married. So what is the bottom line I'm thinking? Think maybe it comes from within instead of from the outside of us.
pretty sure more will be revealed for it always is.
mlyn

[DavidStrong]

If you live in an urban area perhaps you could try using something like craigslist. Sometimes when I have somewhere I'd like to go or something I'd like to do, I'll put up a post stating just that. "I'm going to a baseball game." "I like art museums." "I enjoy tennis." Sometimes I get replies sometimes I don't. Most often messages don't go longer than an email or two, but other times they do. I've met people with common interests before doing this. You said earlier that you're looking for something deeper than just a casual friendship, but hey, you've got to start somewhere.

[LMo]

I'd say 90% of my friends are people I met on Craigslist, either buying stuff from them, selling stuff to them, bartering (usually plants), and the majority, as David mentioned, under Activity Partners (women to ride bikes with). I think that Craigslist has a different vibe in each city, but in my city, it's a fantastic grass-roots crowd.

I even have a Craigslist tshirt...

[Lexicon78]

What is Craigslist???

[Edgewood]

I feel like that every d++n day. You want to know something? I think that you have a nice life, and should not feel ashamed of any aspect of it.

If you want to meet people, consider a hobby. Meet with the enthusiasts of the hobby (maybe a local club), and have a few of them over some Saturday for a little refreshment and shooting of the breeze.

[(JD)]

Volunteer somewhere! Not only will it get you out doing something you like, meeting others, it will also make you feel good about yourself! TC

(BTW I feel that way lonely, washed up and unattractive after every bath!)

[walkswithspiritbear]

Boy I sure wish I could say no to this question but I feel this way all the time..... I am disabled and it makes it difficult for me to get out at all.. it is nice when hubby and I can go out for a few hours, but that is basically my only human interaction and though I love him with all my heart, I can feel so alone and lonely even when he is right here.... this is something that if I say something he gets defensive and then I feel guilty for even bringing up my feelings... getting out would be great, but is very very difficult. And we live in a small town.. I live on main street so don't even really have a neighbor I can talk to if I went outside... my apartment building is pretty quiet and most are very young adults, so they are not even home much.....
Sending you a gentle hug and letting you know that you are not alone as many others have also responded.... some with some good ideas.. take care.. Linda