[Xambgii]

Meaning, I don't have any empathy.
And I hate myself because of it.
No matter how much anyone tells me something that I should be concerned with, my mind is still blank and I can't seem to care.
I mean, I do care, but it doesn't feel like I care.
And this lack of empathy is making me upset because I feel very cold hearted and hateful for it.
Whenever someone tells me about a close relative or friend dying, I just can't seem to care as much as I should.
Death doesn't affect me very much, even with the number of people I've lost throughout my short lifetime.
Someone just said they had a mini-breakdown. I couldn't respond and instead brushed it off inside my head, thinking to myself that "I've probably had breakdowns 100 times worse and you should deal with it."
The only people I've ever really felt for are fictional characters in novels and movies, etc, but when it comes to the real world I just can't seem to care for anyone.

[eskielover]

I'm guessing here, but that guess would be that you the family you grew up with had no empathy either & you were never expressed those feelings to when you were young so that you could even know what they feel like.

We can learn that certain emotions exist, but learning to feel them is different than knowing that they exist......certain emotions /feelings like that are learned by actually living around them & experiencing them from others.

It's not right to get angry at yourself for not being able to feel something you never learned how to feel growing up.....

When you come upon things like this, it's a good thing to do a chain analysis into your earlier years of life to see where the problems have come from.....there is usually a good reason.

[Maven]

Eskie's right. You can't blame yourself because you don't feel what others say you're "supposed to." I will admit, I've been told about people's problems and I didn't feel that I really cared. I cared in the sense of I certainly wished them no ill or harm, but I didn't feel a strong worry for their situation. I sometimes think of myself as a cold person. That's not to say I never feel and cry and experience strong emotions, but sometimes, people have wanted me to react one way, and I just didn't feel what they wanted me to feel.

[Leed]

I think you're in "survival mode." You're depressed and if you DID care, you'd probably go over the edge! We have to protect ourselves, and you're doing it by not feeling as much as you would if you were healthier. I don't think there's anything the "matter" with you other than you're very depressed, and you're protecting yourself.

If you're not in therapy, you need to be! Talk to a therapist, and take care of some issues. I know there's some you need to work on.

Best of luck and take care of YOU. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[hezaa82]

Xambgii, I know exactly how you feel. I've never been able to feel sad about deaths and tragedies either. I guess my family probably didn't teach me about empathy, plus I probably wasn't strong enough to feel something like that so I shut off those emotions. This thread has been helpful, thanks.