[therealme]

i was reading a news paper today when i was drawn to a piece that really angred me
but before i show you the piece i thought i would give you some background on the subject !.......over here in england we have a tv programme called big brother ( 14 people locked in a house for 13 weeks) and one of the people has tourette syndrome.

here's how it reads

"we all knew that depression and stress had become the new backache for the work shy and the benefit scroungers --- but i was left literally speechless by the news that people are using tourette syndrome as the new excuse to sponge off the rest of us.
it would appear that as long as you can do a half passable impression of big brother's pete, youre on to a life of luxury living off the taxpayer
and make no mistake incapacity benefit isn't just for christmas, its for life.
more then 60 per cent of those claiming it for over five years have never had a proper medical assessment.
i ******* dont know about you but ****** **** that makes me ******* angry "


that was the piece that made me feel sooooo angry as i now feel like a fake a scronger for having depression, i am claiming incapacity benefit but its not because i want to , it because i have no other money coming in ,after my sick pay ran out.
but now after reading that i feel im being watch by everyone , being pointed at by people , thinking im fakeing everything ....
yes there are some people who throw sickies from work saying that they are stressed or depressed by to paint so many with the same brush ( 60 % ) i find this outrageous.
and in closing i just want to say that i have emailed this newspaper letting them know how i feel about this piece.

[Raynaadi]

It's so easy to take things personally that we come across, or to project what other's say on to ourselves. You know the truth about you. Try not to let the ignorance of the world get you down....I know, easier said than done. We that aren't the fakers get the bad wrap, it's not fair. At least you did something and emailed the newspaper, good for you!

[Lexicon78]

That's just wrong what those people are doing...it would make me angry too.

[vortex]

dear therealme, i too live in England and am newish to this site. i don't watch big brother or read newspapers but i don't consider myself an idiot either just because i don't do what others do. YOU are NOT a scrounger or a faker any more than i am and i have been disabled for a long time. it has taken 28 years for my psychiatrists to finally discover my 3 illness, all linked to each other and at the moment i am in the deepest throes of bipolar depression. DON'T let what other people write or think touch your heart. You can only do what is right in your own conscience and when you say you are depressed, then i for one believe you. No- one would want to suffer depression for the fun of it and you can't help what is happenening to you. No mental illness is worth pretending to have for any amount of money and maybe those who think play acting the part in order to get benefits, may find that suddenly they have more problems than the ones they first invented for themselves. Keep trucking therealme and live for yourself. i am fighting with my sanity to keep from seriously self harming and at current risk of being Sectioned, ( something you may know about living in UK). My main prob is bipolar illness and so a trip to the depths can just as soon become a flight to a place beyond all reason with barely time to draw breath. Give no excuses to anyone for who or why you are, I certainly don't feel that i owe anyone an explanation or a justification for being ill and neither do YOU! You have my support therealme and i wish you well in all ways.

[therealme]

thank you all , i was just so angry that i thought you might like to share what this paper had said..

[SeptemberMorn]

Therealme, it could also be that whoever wrote that piece is totally ignorant of what mental illness really is! The editor should have made him rewrite that article! I'm mad for you, but don't let someone else's ignorance dictate how you feel about YOU.

Take care.

[eskielover]

Hi therealme,

I can certainly understand & agree with your feelings. Living in the US I'm sure has some differences than in England, but the way people look at us who are disabled are probably very similar. I have been on disability for over 12 years.....it started as horrible anxiety attacks related to my work situation. At the time, I didn't even realize or understand what was happening to me. I felt like a wild animal that had been pushed into a corner with nowhere to turn. I felt that my only choices were to attack & flee or lay down & be dead. I never knew anyone that had problems or felt like I was feeling. I think the hardest part of our type of disability is that it isn't obvious to people who just look at us. I mean, we look normal (for whatever normal is?)

I know that during these 12 years, I can ride my horses. I do dressage showing & I used to even show my american eskimo dogs almost weekly. I even went back to college & took computer graphics courses & interior design courses, getting all A's. There have even been times in my own mind where I wonder if I am really still disabled. I was an aerospace engineer for over 15 years after getting my BS degree. I know I could never go back to that career even if the technology hadn't passed me by. I know also that I have days now when I can't even get out of bed & the simpelest thing triggers me into that condition. However it isn't something that anyone outside of my house know about.

I too get angry with people that say that we fake our illnesses just to get disability money to live on. However, I know here in the US (for me at least), the amount of money that I get for disability is nothing compaired to what I can earn as a degreed person & definitely doesn't allow me to live in any type of luxery. I would never want to get disability as my income if I wasn't at the point where I couldn't work anymore....it barely makes my monthly payments let alone pay for my medications. My mind does tell me when I am having horrible anxiety attacks that I did pay my dues (the amount of money that came out of my pay checks weekly when I was working) into the disability system......so actually, I am just getting back my money that was taken from me in taxes.

Being disabled with a disability that isn't obvious to people from the outside is difficult to deal with. I do agree with the other posters, that it is important for us to not take everything like that personally & feel attacked by something that isn't specifically aimed at you. It is definitely harder to do than to say, but it is a very important thing to do when we are dealing with a mental disability otherwise, it can make us worse. I am proud of you writing to the paper & explaining your feelings. It is important for them to hear our feelings (our side of the situation). That is great that you were able to put down your thoughts & express your feelings.

Take care,
Debbie

[katheryn]

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