What is my real problem?

Because of my mood swings and all I have begun to wonder what REALLY is my problem or issue.
I hope y'all don't mind indulging me in inviting you to sort of "diagnose" me and help steer me in the right direction.
I know I am depressed. I have been diagnosed with Impulse Control Disorder and Change Disorder. I agree with it, but feel as if there is somethng more. Maybe its just my imagination. Feel free to chime in.
Here is me as I see me:
I am an only child....parents are deceased.
Firstly and most strongly i DO NOT like stress! I go into either some kind of panic or have anxiety when presented with a stressful situation. I like it when others make decisions and won't object unless its something I flatly refuse to go along with. I am all over the place...cannot conentrate, cannot finish a sentence, interrupt some one else who is talking for fear of forgetting what I am about to say, can plan and start almost anything but find it a HUGE task to finish it, cannot make a decision (what to wear, when to leave, which way to go).
Yet other days, I am completely OK with the world, can go days at a time and have next to no stress, no anxiety, then bam!
I experience crushing depression over my failed marriage, how much I hurt my wife, how I lied to her; how is all this affecting our daughter, does she know how much I love her, is she hurting, how much is she hurting, what if she gets sick of me and does not want me around anymore....ahhhh!
I have to talk myself into going to get my hair cut for like 2 or 3 days before I can actually go get it cut. I think its because its a new barber shop or me and I dont know what kind of social situation I am going to be presented with.
I know that I need to go shopping for groceries and I can do that pretty easily because its somthing I am familiar with and it really does not involve any stress for me.
Work is another place I go to with relative ease. I have worked with most of these people for over 10 years...there are familiar faces and good supervisors who are willing and able to assist me with my work. I really do like my job and my workplace about 80-90% of the time.
I have great difficulty forgiving myself for many things. I have many many regrets including agreeing to the abortion with my college girlfriend, drug use, drinking, pornography, stealing, lying, cheating, masturbation (geeze I can't believe I am admitting to that but I must include it!), affairs of the heart (I have had 2 relationships over the internet and/or texting with NO physical contact, just deep emotional attachment) one of whic was in an adult virtual video game where you take on an avatar and move about in the game, making friends, having sex with one person or many people...and I sort of "fell in lust" over this one girl...and she was a girl...I am 46 and she was 26...and just lost my freakin mind over her and this damn game and could not get enough of either.
My wife found out about it and read my posts on my blog and on her wall and was completely crushed over it. I was lost in the "newness" of the relationship and began to think that I would meet her and run off with her. Now all I think is what a complete piece of s#&^ I am for doing it!
I lost everything in a bad real estate deal, thought I could beat it and then fell apart...lost my childhood home, spent WAY too much money, now our current home is in foreclosure, gonna lose it in June of 2013 if we don't sell it off in the spring.
I think that about sums it up. Oh I am always looking for something new, even though I know that new wears off quickly.
Well have at it if you like. I have to call my Psych Doctor and talk to her about my current conditions and what she thinks about any meds and am looking for some fresh insight as to what the hell is wrong with me.

Welcome to PC. Well, you know, the disclaimer... none of us can diagnose officially....

You have a Psych Doc... is that a psychiatrist who writes prescriptions? Do you get a full (50 min) hour to do talk therapy, or just the check in of 5-10 minutes?

Glad you found PC!

Right...guess I should have said "suggest" what could be wrong with me?
I have the full Psychiatrist....I already had the one full on diag where we talked for what seemed like an hour....I was on Lexapro, Abilify, and one other I just cant recall. The side affects were almost worse than my symptoms...I had to stop taking them.
But my circumstances are different than they were back in August when I was first diagnosed, and now I am like my normal mal-adjusted self...lol.
I am back to not knowing what the heck is really wrong with me.

Welcome to PC! After reading your post sounds to me like you really need to remember to live in the here and now, you can't change the past and we can't predict the future so.....all we have is today that is where we must put all our thoughts and energy. Just some of my thoughts of what I have learned the hard way! Hope it helps you a bit.

Glad you're here. I don't know how to diagnose you even if it was allowed, but we're here to listen and pass along a little advice here and there when we can. At least you don't have to feel alone, because there are a lot of us here who experience the same kinds of things you do.