[Rhapsody]

FINALLY..... Someone has actually brought a law suite against MYSpace and of course the company settled out of court.... but now due to this law suite MySpace is being made to put into play strong measures to keep children 16 and under safe from online predictors.... those that would seek to rape and emotionally harm the little ones. (this action is to start next week)

I for one am glad........................ for while the WAR is still raging the first BATTLE has been won.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.
This law-suite was brought about after a 14 year old girl was contacted on MYSpace by an adult who evidently lured her in to his evil web of sex, and then raped her as she fought back..... he said all he had to do was to type in the age range he was looking for and then BAM!!! there was the list.

[Sujin]

Yeah I read about the new rule on Myspace as far as grownups being banned from talking to minors. There was also mention that this was not a strong enough measure, since adults can pose as a minor. Just because they say they are a certain age doesn't mean they are.

Also, although I am not a member of Myspace, I know plenty of people who are, and it is a good site for networking and great for bands. The people who go on Myspace and give out all their personal information to just anyone are the ones who end up in these types of situations. I have seen profiles of young girls who give out WAY too much information, such as "I like porn" and then post pictures of themselves in provocative poses, with little clothing on. I just think to myself, what is wrong with them? And where is their common sense? I mean, of course you're going to attract predators if you put up a profile like that. I'm not saying anyone deserves to get raped or harrassed in any way, but these minors or anyone else who acts like this need to be responsible for their own actions.

Myspace should have more monitoring and such, but people who use the site should also use their brains.

Also, these types of things can happen on ANY site, not just Myspace.

Zen

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
zen13 said:
I have seen profiles of young girls who give out WAY too much information, such as "I like porn" and then post pictures of themselves in provocative poses, with little clothing on. I just think to myself, what is wrong with them? And where is their common sense? I mean, of course you're going to attract predators if you put up a profile like that.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


Yes.... while young girls and boys that post sexual profiles will get the attention of predators, this particular girl from my understanding did not have a profile.... other than what MySpace makes you input for membership (age and all).


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Kalamity]

And what of all the other sites that don't protect minors? I don't know why MySpace is taking all the heat when I know that other sites are much much worse - they allow you to post just as much info about yourself, you can be searched for by age and gender, and people are ever so much bolder in behaving in inappropriate ways.

MySpace shouldn't be held up as being responsible when it was said that the girl lied about her age, and I don't doubt that for a minute since I see it all the time. Teens, male and female lie about their age all over the net and then intentionally seek out adults to engage them in innapropriate discussions. Where are the parents when all this is going on? Aren't the parents teaching their children to behave better than this? Why do these kids feel the need to hook exploit themselves the way they do?

I see this stuff ALL over the internet. MySpace happens to be the of the very rare sites where I have not been harrassed by people seeking some kind of sexual gratification. I like MySpace. Yahoo chat on the other hand sorely needs some serious attention and intervention, as well as hundreds of other message boards, chat services, and online journals.

[Sujin]

That is a real shame, but how did this person get to her and find out her whereabouts? That is really scary, and I am not trying to argue over this, I am just curious. I was stalked in highschool (by another student) and I didn't ask for it, just as this girl surely didn't either, it's just a matter of not giving out personal info or meeting with someone you don't know.

Zen

[Sujin]

Exactly, Kalamity. You worded it just right.

Zen

[Rhapsody]

Well, from what I heard on the NEWS it said that he found her because she was listed as a minor and that was what he was looking for..... girls 14 and under.

And while this thread is talking about MySpace, lets all not take it out of context and go wild saying what about all the other sites that don't input the measures for protection - for I am against them as well - and I often petition to get things changed..... I DO MY PART!!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

........................................... PeAcE.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kalamity said:
Where are the parents when all this is going on? Aren't the parents teaching their children to behave better than this? Why do these kids feel the need to hook exploit themselves the way they do?.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


Yes while parents are a lot to do with how their kids behave online, and are raised - we still have to remember that a lot of these kids are being influenced by what our society says is acceptable and normal behavior, and many of them are acting out in a promiscuous sexual nature for they are really looking for someone to LOVE them....

A true fact:
MEN give LOVE to receive SEX (and) FEMALES give SEX to receive LOVE. (even within a loving / committed relationship)

Therefore, these young girls are probably just wounded and trying to seek some kind of affirmation that says "I am WANTED" - - - "I am LOVED"

(and) while we, the adults, know that this is not the truth of the matter - that sex does not equal love we have to remember that we are dealing with young people here and they still have a lot to learn..... heck lets face it, some adults never learn that lesson.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Kalamity]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
And while this thread is talking about MySpace, lets all not take it out of context and go wild saying what about all the other sites that don't input the measures for protection

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I think we do need to go crazy about the other sites though. Everyone all over: newspapers, news, talk shows, everyone is saying how horrible MySpace is for being a site that caters to child predators and how easy the site makes it for children to be victimized and NO ONE Is saying anything about all the other trouble sites.

I've been speaking out against other sites for years and I'm alway met with laughter and accusations that I'm uptight.

All the bashing of MySpace also makes me very defensive as it's been a very safe and sane place for me to meet with people - people that don't hit on me and have no expectation of sexual gratification. No one on MySpace asks me inappropriate questions or makes fun of me. Yep. All the bashing makes me feel very very defensive. I don't want anyone ruining MY safe place.

(sorry for being so agressive - i'm having an off day)

[Sujin]

Rhapsody said:

A true fact:
MEN give LOVE to receive SEX (and) FEMALES give SEX to receive LOVE. (even within a loving / committed relationship)

Sorry, I disagree. And this is not a fact, just your personal opinion.

Best Wishes,
Zen

[Raynaadi]

I'm a myspace supporter. I have found people I thought I'd never talk to again, including a dear friend from when I was just a child. myspace has kept me sane during all this ms stuff, because I can keep my friends informed of my situation through my blogging. It's up to the individual first to be responsible and not post harmful things about themselves. I simply ignore preditors there like I would here, on yahoo, any other site, and in real life. In some ways I'm glad myspace is getting some heat because obviously there needs to be some reform on the internet...but honestly it's like trying to catch a deluge in a paper cup.....there's so much freedom on the net and so many predators. But I just have to say, I LOVE MYSPACE heheheeh

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
zen13 said:
Rhapsody said:

A true fact:
MEN give LOVE to receive SEX (and) FEMALES give SEX to receive LOVE. (even within a loving / committed relationship)

Sorry, I disagree. And this is not a fact, just your personal opinion.

Best Wishes,
Zen

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


NO sorry, but that is a FACT........................ world wide survey done on males and females a like, and performed by professional therapist / relationship authors.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kalamity said:
(sorry for being so agressive - i'm having an off day)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


No offense taken................. I do believe in the saying "to each his own" - hence why I wrote the post as I did, from my side of the fence.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

.................................................... PeAcE

[radio_flyer]

I don't "give" sex for love and I am a woman....In my younger days, I prob did think that.................I do not believe that anymore............ There is much more to love than sex....... If love is based on sex, we are in a lot of trouble.. lol... Because after the honeymoon phase, what would be left??????????

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
radio_flyer said:
I don't "give" sex for love and I am a woman....In my younger days, I prob did think that.................I do not believe that anymore............ There is much more to love than sex....... If love is based on sex, we are in a lot of trouble.. lol... Because after the honeymoon phase, what would be left??????????

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


No LOVE is not based on SEX - but SEX is based on LOVE (or should be)....

And with the quote I gave it still all ends in..................... LOVE - just mixed the difference in the species and how each look at it at times.

And I did not say that males / females do this all the time, but they often do it when they are young and still learning (15-25)..... hence the saying: WISDOM comes with AGE, therefore, we change our ways to express a more mature love, true love.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -


P.S.
and please keep in mind that MEN use SEX to emotionally bond with the one they love..... hence why saying NO to him makes him feel rejected, as though you are saying to NO to him the person and not just to sex at the moment.

[Sujin]

I'm not here to argue with you Rhapsody, but I do not believe everything I read and hear, regardless of who says it.

I hate generalizations too, especially when it comes to the sexes. I can give you numerous accounts as to why I believe this statement not to be true, but in the end we all have our personal opinions.

Anyway, this whole thing is going off topic so I'm not going to respond any further. Take care, I don't want any hard feelings, we just have a difference of opinions.

Best Wishes,
Zen

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
zen13 said:
I'm not here to argue with you Rhapsody, but I do not believe everything I read and hear, regardless of who says it.

Anyway, this whole thing is going off topic so I'm not going to respond any further. Take care, I don't want any hard feelings, we just have a difference of opinions.

Best Wishes,
Zen


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


I AM SORRY!! - I did not think we were arguing...... just sharing different opinions with each other..... I have respect for other peoples feelings / thoughts.

But I understand, so back to the topic at hand............. no more .


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[radio_flyer]

Sex may be considered the icing on the cake....... You need the cake first to put icing on...and the cake is the foundation which have the healthiest ingredients.......... But the icing is all sugar... and too much sugar gives many a tummy ache.. lol

If women think that giving sex for love is love then they are setting themselves up for one big "bang"....

[Lexicon78]

I'm another one who likes MySpace...not for the hookups or anything like that, but mostly to keep in touch with my aunt and little sister and some of my long lost friends. I also look for other pagans on there to talk to. Beyond that I don't use it for anything else.

When I first signed up there were all these guys and girls asking to hook up with me for sex and all that...I ignored every single one of them! That just doesn't interest me.

[Sujin]

I agree, Rhapsody. Even friends don't always agree on everything. I respect your opinions too!

Love,
Zen

[Maven]

Well, I'm going to add my two cents to that off-topic part. They didn't ask everybody, and nobody speaks for me but me, so a "world wide survey" doesn't speak for everyone. And I sure don't take psychologists' opinions for gospel.

I'm also a MySpace supporter (like you didn't know). The majority of cases where kids get into trouble with pedophiles, hebephiles, predators and others online are because the parents weren't monitoring their children. Parents are still letting children keep their computers in their bedrooms and out of parents' views. They don't discipline their kids, or they're not consistent with their disciplining.

I saw the article on MySpace, too. As Kalamity and zen have said, there are a lot of sites like MySpace. MySpace is simply the most famous one, and the biggest one (biggest because of fame, and their fame made them bigger), at over 80 million users. They can't protect kids 100% on their site. We can't do that in the world. They already had protections. I know a boy I saw on a MySpace group who admitted he'd lied about his age. Lots of people--adults and kids--lie about their age on MySpace and the whole Internet.

If parents watched what their kids did online, they'd see if a pervert contacted them. And I bet you many parents don't know what kids are putting on their MySpace and similar sites, and some don't know their kids even have these sites! And I'm sure there are those who don't think there's any harm in their teenage daughters posing sexy or posting suggestive content. A lot of people post their age as "99" or some obviously untrue number, although some aren't really lying; some people put up sites for projects, such as music albums, movies, businesses, etc., rather than people. Others are obviously trying to keep their age private.

I'm not saying parents are solely the reason kids get into trouble on the Internet; and I'm not saying parents can guarantee 100% that their kids will be safe online or offline, but you can see for yourself, that kids are either not being monitored, or their parents don't care. Just look around MySpace and other sites.

I was on an adult Yahoo! Group a while back, and I saw posts by some adults for underage kids, and even one girl who claimed to be around 12 or 14, who wanted to get together with adults for sex. There was at least one set of parents who responded to a guy, offering to let him have sex with their daughter(s). I left the group and reported what was going on to Yahoo! They sent me a form email telling me that they would look into it, but couldn't give me details of actions taken, because of privacy issues or something. I never saw anything on the news about it, but I hope they did do something to stop it.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Maven said:
Well, I'm going to add my two cents to that off-topic part. They didn't ask everybody, and nobody speaks for me but me, so a "world wide survey" doesn't speak for everyone. And I sure don't take psychologists' opinions for gospel. .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


I understand..... and please know that I am not taking the professional opinions on this one - but I am taking the opinions of the many thousands of males and females that were surveyed (and) the 1,000 plus people I personally talked with or surveyed on the subject.... real live MEN & WOMEN.

I pray that one day we will be able to talk about the threads from their original post only and not from so many different angles.... I just wanted to state how happy I was about it - not start War World III.

.......................... PeAcE


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Maven]

No, Rhapsody, I wasn't angry when I said that. I just felt I had to say what was on my mind. I'm sorry if I came across like that. *Hug*

I know a lot of women who give sex for love, like you say, and a lot of men who equate sex with romance. I don't know if they feel an emotional connection with women through sex; from what I've heard according to psychologists (and again, I don't take this as fact, but it's what many say), women bond emotionally through sex, whereas men don't have that connection. But I have heard many men who don't understand why their women are upset with them. The woman will say, "I want romance!" And the guy will say, "Well, I'm trying to be romantic with you, but you keep saying no!" I think many men and many women define romance differently. Sex can be romantic, and romance can include sex, but the two are not the same.

This has nothing to do with MySpace, but staying off-topic for just a second more, I'll offer a tip to those who could use it: If you want your guy to be more romantic, then you need to tell him things you consider romantic. It's not bad that men and women see things differently, but a little communication can help a lot.

Now, back to MySpace...

I agree my space needed and still needs to do more monitoring and so on. But I also agree my space is not the only place this can happen.

The person that got arrested not too far from here said it is so easy even on mental and medical health therapy and support groups. On one site all he had to do was match things like weather reports, parades, special events, Stuff people would not think that could lead to a persons location. It the cyber equivelent of scoping out your victims. In real life most if not all child preditors gather all the information possible about their prospective victim. especially if they are not into killing the victim after doing the crimes.

On line they pay attention to the little details and follow those clues to make sure they have availability to that victim. For example he followed this one 11 year old child for a year attending the special events, parties and so on she posted for 6 months and actually met her face to face giving her friend and her a ride home from a party while posing as a parent of a child he claimed he was looking for. He located this victim on a sexual abuse DID support group.

Yea it is in the news all the time about my space and the preditors that have gotten arrested because they found their victims on there

BUT

Just like in real life Sexual abuse happens no matter what the location, race, gender and age. It happens. It doesn't just happen to the children on my space. It doesn't just happen to the girls of my space. It happens to adults. It happens to males as well as females and it happens to black, white, red you name it.

On line or off - NO ONE is free from the possibility of being sexually assaulted.

In real life 1 in every 3 girls / women regardless of race in the USA are sexually abused at some point in their lives and 1 in every 4 boys / men are sexually assaulted at some point in their lives.

That statistic does not say some of those assaults won't and dont happen on line. So so I use these statistics to help keep in mind the situatioo.

for example if there is a website with 600 members equally divided 300 girls /women, 300 boys / men then figure

100 girls / women on that site are going to be sexually assaulted and or approached in a sexual way. and

75 boy / men are going to be sexually assaulted or approached in a sexual manner.

That is 175 people of the total population of a 600 membership site will be sexually assaulted or approached in a sexual manner on line regardles of gender.

Now you see why there are people out there that go on line posing as potential victims to catch these sexual preditors.

It happened on my space but it can happen on a dating website, a game website. And yes maybe even here.

Which is why I never give out my name and any personal information that can lead to my location and so on.

Yes cyberspace needs better rules but no security is fool proof. there also must be edutaction and parents need to do their part too by monitoring their children when on line. with technology there is no reason a parent can't know where their children go on line. There are rotors and internet access companies now offer parental control services where the "administrator (person who sets up the internet access profile that has to be done before the person can even serf the web) recieves an email weekly or monthly that tells the on line activities being done with that computer.

Also children are not the only ones that need to be taught to use common sense and safety precautions -

One of my neighbors children went to a sleep over party and they were using a friends computer -for fun these 12 year old children decided to do the equivelent of making prank calls - they posed as adults on a well known dating service and happened on to some family photos someone had posted and one picture was of one of their parents in the nude.

[Maven]

myself, thank you for posting that!!!

The whole post is excellent, but I want to comment on the methods predators use to get to kids. And I should add, this is also how stalkers get to their victims, and predators get to other adults as well, so this doesn't just apply to children. I have seen a number of talk shows in my teens and early 20's that explained some of the methods predators use. I remember a specific episode of Montel Williams where a guest who was a detective showed how predators and stalkers got to their victims. One thing said was that he might go to a neighbor of yours, pretend that he was planning a surprise party for you (at this point, he has gathered other info on you), and asks what your favorite ice cream is, and he can use that info to scare you (because he knows personal information about you), or if he were after a kid, he might say, "My favorite flavor of ice cream is [flavor]," and the kid will be like, "That's my favorite flavor, too!" and he gains a little more trust each time he shares something like that.