[NoCake]

I only have depression. And it's probably not as bad as most people have it. But I know that people here do hurt - more than I can ever imagine. So I only ask that whatever is going on in your life that you find someone to talk to about it. Don't hold it in and don't feel alone. Talk to people and let them know how you feel.

Holding it in just makes the pain worse. I have already lost one friend and I am afraid I could lose another. So please talk it over. I don't want to see anything bad happen to good people anymore.

[gma45]

Thanks for your post. I believe talking does help, sometimes it is just not an option in my world. I find coming here and at least writing out how I feel also helps to feel not so alone. It is good to know some people still care about others.

[konrei]

This is how I feel right now and I'm looking for someone to listen to me. I've been depressed for almost a week, I'm still scared on talking my problem to my close friends/relatives thinking I'm being over-dramatic/drama queen all over again.

I just don't want their days getting ruined because of me so I often pretend that I'm fine whenever I talk to them.

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by konrei

This is how I feel right now and I'm looking for someone to listen to me. I've been depressed for almost a week, I'm still scared on talking my problem to my close friends/relatives thinking I'm being over-dramatic/drama queen all over again.

I just don't want their days getting ruined because of me so I often pretend that I'm fine whenever I talk to them.

I feel that way sometimes. But I'd rather be a bit sad and know that I can help a friend than be happy when they are not.

I think the most important thing is for us to be real with whatever we are feeling and to not give our feelings away in order to spare someone elses feelings.

We can be happy when someone is sad and still be empathetic and compassionate towards them and their sadness.

If we give our real/true feelings away in an attempt to not have an impact on someone elses feelings, then we are not only hurting ourselves, we are being less than honest with ourselves and others.

Easier said than done, I know, but it's imperative to allow our feelings and the feelings of others to simply be what they are.

[Benignity]

Talking with someone is always important, especially when you are feeling down. A good system of supports is crucial for anyone that struggles with mental illness. That's my opinion, anyways.

[Puffyprue]

i am sorry for your loss, and thanks for posting this *hugs*
When iam depressed its really hard to reach out i tend to isolate myself, and i already loss all my friends when i fell deep down in my depression and cut all my contact with all people that i knew ,iam grateful somepeople still want to be friends with me but for some who dont i completely understand , iam too unstable and crazy
Glad you post this

[Open Eyes]

Since I began struggling with PTSD, my view of other people has changed alot. There were so many times when I was struggling so much with it that someone elses "genuine" efforts to offer advice to me felt like they were "invalidating" me instead.
I became "very sensitive" to how people "reacted" to me and it took me a while to work through that part of the PTSD.

I found it very challenging because there were times when I just "needed to be angry" or even be sad or have some "down time" away from being "stimulated" by other's. I have had too many times in my life where I was "disrespected" or "profoundly hurt" by the actions of others and then told to "get over it, it is in the past". So, anytime I hear "anything" that dismisses my feelings, I tend to get very angry. It has taken me time to work on that, recognize it, and try to not let it trigger me so much.

Now, I try to pay attention to how I am feeling and "what I would like someone else to say to me" that I feel would "help me more". There "is" a fine line between validating someone's anger and giving that person more "fuel to be even more angry" or depressed.

When we make an effort to "try to reach out" we will always "risk" being somehow "rejected" by other people. As I have come to understand "my disorder" and work through it, part of that includes realizing that people can only "give what they know" and that even though I don't get what "I" need, I have to at least see the limits of others.

We are all so unique really that it can be difficult to truely "know the genuine needs of another person". It is important to establish our own boundaries and understand that if we are beginning to "disregard" our own feelings and needs, it is time to realize we need to distance from the other person.

We cannot "fix" other people, all we can do is offer our "help" as best as we can to encourage them to "fix" themselves. I try my best to listen, and validate the other person's feelings. I am never going to be perfect and have the answers for everyone, I try my best, but I am only human and will have times when another person may not be at a point where they are ready to "not be angry" or "depressed" yet.

Open Eyes

[IceCreamKid]

If what I write here is inappropriate a mod may delete it. I have no one in my life outside PC to tell my problems to other than my adult son and while I have talked to him a little bit, I sense it distresses him and what I am describing is outside his area of expertise, so to speak, so I have stopped trying to talk to him about my mental state.

Over the years I have felt the people I was friends with were more interested in themselves and their needs and their families and so one by one they dropped off the radar. I don't miss them. I'm not saying they were bad people; we just didn't have enough in common to remain friends.

I have an abundance of acquaintances but I don't feel right telling them what is bothering me. I often feel like I am meant to be alone; if not by some cosmic design, then by the upbringing I had which I won't go into here.

I find PC invaluable because I have made friends here.

When I feel low I find it hard to open up in real life it is why I log in here.

[NoCake]

Yeah I don't think it has to be someone outside. The people here are the nicest I've ever known.