I'm just speaking out of my mind out of observation over the years. This is only pertaining to my developing social skills and maturation.

What if you can learn and follow everything as normally as other people would except that you can't mature as quickly as others?

I'm not talking about those who choose to be childish or not want to act too much of a grownup, and in some cases I can understand. But for me, I'm trying to act my age which is no problem, but sometimes I slip way too much.

I have a hard time understanding how to live normally, which is strange at this point even, like other teenagers. I mean, I am polite, observant, and mild to others in public, but when I'm around friends and their families or around people who I feel pressured by, I instantly let my meek, childish side seep through.

I remember the times when I'm at one of my closest friend's house (I'm comfortable with them), I used to have either anxiety attacks or accidentally be abnormally childish over small things. When I have these moments, my friends and families would burst out laughing (in their eyes I'm the semi-smart woman who should feel the need to be in a wheelchair, and I really hate this) and I would have no idea why until my mom shouts at me angrily afterwards what I've done wrong. I need to stop being comfortable around familiar people, but I can't!! I don't even know how to act around people I really like anymore!

I never had therapy, but I've tried and I'm trying to fix my mistakes by improving my current mentality with relatives and new people that I like. So far it's working, but with the people now? Hell.

I now accept that I'm mentally slower than others when it comes to developing communication skills and mentality, and with my depression, sometimes I'm not feeling good at all.

[sideblinded]

Hi Lucky_Wishbone

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and story. I think that you might be too hard on yourself. I think you are still young and it is actually quite normal to regress a little bit when we are still teenagers. Maybe you are being very critical of yourself. It sounds like your family may be too harsh on you. Maybe you could be gentle with yourself and know that you are learning new things everyday. I think you might be ahead of others as you say you are polite and understanding of others. You sound very responsible and serious about being a better person and for this you are high in my book. Look inside yourself and if you see a person always trying to be a better person then you are really a mature person and a gem. Cudos to you!

[Frankbtl]

Hi Lucky Wishbone, maybe this isn't anywhere near as much about you being mentally slower or less mature........maybe this is much more about the way you feel around others that's effecting the way you act.
You mentioned feeling pressured by some people........well maybe it's them to blame if they're behaving in an "intimidating" way towards you or/and maybe it's more about you not feeling confident. And leading on, maybe it's a case of you having lower self esteem (especially if this has been happening "my mom shouts at me angrily afterwards what I've done wrong") and having difficulties expressing yourself at your level with other people.
And naturally depression is going to effect how well you're able to communicate with others.
So if you get where I'm coming from..........depression, anxiety, low confidence, low self esteem............do not need to mean that you're "mentally slower" or less mature. Plenty of really smart, really mature, amazing (!!) people can still experience the effects of any of these. It just may mean that you need a bit of help in overcoming these.
And you've got to remember that even really smart, really mature people can sometimes, occasionally behave in a "childish" manner, especially when they are with people they feel comfortable with......it can be as much about just temporarily being able to/comfortable enough "let go"/cut loose of the "should"'s.........so maybe that's where the "accidentally" bit you mentioned fits in.........the thing is just to try not to let it lead to hurting others.
And just be careful how far you go to trying to "live normally........like other teenagers"............sure there might be some "norms" you need to follow, but there doesn't have to be anything wrong with some differences either, in fact some differences can be really good!!!
So, it really is admirable that you're wanting to work on things you find difficult.......and go for it!!! But if there are certain areas that are more a reflection of you as a person/who you are, it's much more important to be yourself and to be comfortable with who you are, and there will be people who are going to respect your individuality.
Just some thoughts...........

Alison

[avlady]

my parents and their friends used to say, don't act like us we act like kids when we get together, jokingly.