Do You Hide?

Do you hide and keep to yourself when you are at your lowest? I do. I withdraw from the very help that I need. I've been doing that the past few weeks. I'm beginning to get better at last.

I started by expressing my thoughts and feelings and felt that they were ignored, so then I withdrew. I'm not referring to anyone online but in my 3D life. So often it feels like others can't understand. It doesn't matter if I express myself nicely and calmly or angrily and emotionally. It causes me to think that I don't matter.

Is hiding a safety mechanism of some kind? I'm wondering if it could be a time to regain our emotional strength. I seem to have regained some of mine for now. I'd be interested to know what others think. Thanks, Susan

I think it can work like that.for sure

Time to regroup.

Glad you are feeling a bit better.

YES..... I hide both in Real Life & Online when I feel rejected or hated by another.... ((( hugs ))).


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

when I choose to hide no one can find me to hurt my feelings , yes definate defense mecanisum (sp)
we Love ya Susan

Here I hide sometimes when I don't want to deal with some issues or some people. This is mostly when I'm about to overwhelm in 3D.

In 3D I don't hide. I'm always ready to meet whatever comes at me head on and take care of it as soon as possible. It could be a good thing, but then again, maybe not.

Hiding is one of my primary coping mechanisms. I'm finding it a lot harder to do now that I don't live alone, though, which stinks. When I feel so bad, I just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head and say the heck with it all.

Candy

((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))) I tend to withdraw rather than seek the help that i need. It is especially hard when you feel insignificant or nonexistant. I think it is a way to prevent from being hurt any more at least for a while. Maybe it does give us time to recharge. I never thought of it like that. I am glad you are feeling better.

yeah i think hiding might be a safety / defence mechanism...
if you don't tell others you aren't feeling so good then you don't risk them minimising / invalidating your feelings.

sometimes it can be hard oh so hard to express our feelings when we are used to hiding and when we feel bad like we are burdening others with those feelings...

and so when we get up the courage to express them they aren't communicated as clearly as they would be if we were more assertive with expressing ourself. but it can be hard to be assertive with expressing our feelings sometimes when they have been invalidated in the past... but it means that other people don't really hear the distress we are feeling.

or sometimes... people don't know what to say... or how to help... so they kind of avoid negative feelings and ignore people expressing distress because they don't know what to do.

do you have a t to talk to about this?

Hi Ozzie,

When you're not sure about things or are feeling vulnerable -- hiding is a good safety mechanism. I've had an issue about not being heard since I was a small child, in a family of adults. So that issue in particular is one of my buttons. It usually kind of subtley sneaks up on me.

Glad you're feeling stronger, and ready to venture out again.

Hugs,

EJ

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I'm not sure what makes me go one way or the other.

I'm glad you're feeling stronger - I was worried about you

Yes, in every way possible at one time or another..... wait for it to cycle into something I can cope with..... ride it out.... whatever it is.

I hide. I think I learned to do that when I was a kid. Mum used to hide from things instead of facing them. If someone came around to our house that she didn't want to come in she would just hide inside rather than go to the door and assertively tell the truth. I am trying hard not to hide from life. Because everything in me wants to hide from life most of the time. I hide from lots of things. Sometimes I even hide from love...crazy!

Yes, it the only viable option.

I did a couple days ago and I needed it. I needed to rest and relax forgetting everything

I think it is healthy to do this occasionally but if it is more than less, maybe talking to a therapist/counselar may help.
Hiding/withdrawing may be needed for one of the reasons you mentioned, and this is a good emotional survival mechanism.
Maybe it is a good thing too, cause one gets a chance to do hobbies,planting or different things that can bring comfort.
I feel it's alright to vacate from the things or people that are bothering us, it's also good, if you can, get those around you to understand whats going on.
But if it is a form of "me" time, like I call it when I do this is "I'm going into my secret little world" do not disturb. Sometimes I do answer the phone, instead I listen to who is calling and then maybe call back or I have someone who is home,tell them I'll call back.
I need "quiet time", my family,especially my oldest brother respects this and I to him, for he does this occasionally too.
Some mistake it for depression or anger, and get insulted if I do not recieve calls, but once they know why they too, respect my need for space and quiet time.
Take care now,
DE

((((((((( ozzie ))))))))))))

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darkeyes said:
Sometimes I do not answer the phone, instead I listen to who is calling and then maybe call back or I have someone who is home, tell them I'll call back.

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Oh YES.... the good old phone, another form of technology we need to hide from.
I am thankful for voice mail, answering machines and the BIG one - CALLER ID (my favorite).


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I even go as far as not answering the door to people/solicitors, naturally if someone I know and have invited to my home, I'll answer the door.
We all need time to ourselves, and people should respect it, they don't have to understand it, but respect this, as we respect others who need to "hide".

Hi Ozzie,

Yes, I do hide when I am experiencing my lows. I find that it helps me to be by myself and isolate. It gives me time to reflect on things, and get myself together. I have to be careful though, because I have had times where I've isolated to the point where it went on for too long, and I couldn't make myself get out of bed. Now I just take "rests", and I still talk to loved ones, but I mostly stay to myself until I am feeling like me again. I am glad to hear you are feeling better!

Best Wishes,
Zen/Sujin

I feel like I am always hiding in one way or another. Even when I am out and happy... something is still hiding. that most vulnerable part of me I guess. I relate ozzie, completely.

Susan,
I'm so sorry you were low. Glad to hear you are getting better.

It hurts to be ignored and then that inturn can chip away at one's self worth...... which, I believe.... can result into isolating as one doesn't feel they matter enough to be cared about. And also, I think it can make one feel safer as it's hard to be hurt further if one is isolating.

I do this also.... hide when I'm so low.

Good to hear that you have regained some of your emotional strength-- and good to "see" you around!

(Oh, I have a new name and siggy! mandy)

I do the same thing no matter where I am.

I'm sorry you felt you were ignored. I am always here for you if ever you need someone.

((((((((((Ozzie))))))))))

I hide too.

I think we all hide in some way or another.

I'm going to go hide from this site, this time forever. Take care all.

Zen

I hide all the time. i constantly hide. It's what I do. People tell me to open up, I don't. Because I know they won't understand. So you aren't alone in the hiding process. I think if i was always open to people they would not accept me. So, I'm stronger this way.