Is it necessary to know why you are in order to change?

I would like to know if it is important to know why you are the way you are if you want to change?

It maybe is important to know what triggers you and learn to manage your reactions by planning ahead. Sometimes I think some things it's better not to remember and you block them for good reason. Maybe the best thing is to walk full speed away in a different direction. I wish you well as you try to figure it out for yourself.

To an extent yes, it is important to have some level of understanding of the "why"s in order to move forward. Knowing what makes you "tick" and why is valuable, because then you can work with that knowledge so those things that trigger your behaviors/issues/etc don't have to continue messing up your present life.

Having said that though, I think sometimes people can put too much emphasis on the "why"s behind everything and end up ignoring the present moment in a futile attempt at perfect understanding of themselves which is simply not feasible. I think the key here is balance. Healthy understanding of yourself is always a good thing, but when the search for understanding becomes an obsession that can create a whole different set of problems.

Best of luck to you.

After I killed my meth crazed BF I was stuck in 'why' and 'what if' for a very long time. My T told me NOT to use any self help books that help you to understand your problem and she said just do the healthy behaviors now and in time the emotions will follow. She was right. I still am confused about why things happened as they did at that time but I have moved on with my life, though I am forever changed by what has happened.

Not sure everyone is the same but that is my experience.