[splitimage]

I've been in a really dark and self destructive headspace for about 6 weeks now. My psychiatrist, after consulting with other members of my care team, called me at home last night to tell me he wants me in the hospital.

I can't go in today as I have too much stuff to do to get ready to go in, and I don't want to go in over a weekend, as a weekend in a psych ER strikes me as grim. So I'm going in first thing Mon. morning.

They've changed the way it works at my hospital - psychiatrists used to be able to direct refer you to a bed, now everyone has to go in through the ER where they can hold you for up to 72 hours before finding you a bed, and there's no quarantee what unit you'll wind up on - I have my preferences but it all depends on bed availability.

I'm scared, but I'm afraid that if I don't go, I'll wind up dead.

splitimage

splitimage, i understand that uou are scared. many warm hugs your way. i think you made a wise decision. i wish you all the best. keep us updated! hugs

Dear Split Image,

I can appreciate your fear, but if you truly believe that without intervention you would act in a manner that inflicted serious, and permanent harm upon your being, then go boldly, and with the knowledge that you have submitted yourself to a worthy emprise.

You are fortunate to have so many that care for your well being. Yet what trust and respect you accord to these loving souls, that you will heed their desire to see you in a healthier, and safer position.

I have had stays at five different locked, psychiatric units. Terrible places, I know, although sometimes, necessary. Although, no psych unit can I mentally fabricate, is as dark, destructive, and grim as is imagined the grave, absoluteness of death.

Your strength will see you through, and we will wait, expectantly for your happy return. Take care, Split Image.

Sincerely,

-Fleeing Bellocq

[Open Eyes]

(((((Splitimage)))))))) I am sorry to hear you have been struggling for the past six weeks, I am glad you are going to reach out for help with this. You have been in bad spots before and gotten back on track, so please remember that and that you are doing the right thing. Try your best to do anything you can to have some positives to hold you up until monday. Good music, or some light hearted movies or books to put in some comfort.

(((You will be in my prayers to stay safe))))

[Yoda]

[notz]

Hugs I'll be thinking of you.

[radio_flyer]

Splitimage.. I'll be thinking of you...Think of you often esp when I try to knit or crochet. Discovered there is a knitting social room here at pc. Maybe you can join if you haven't already....

[shezbut]

(((splitimage)))

You need to do what will get you through the weekend. Color, exercise, bake, clean, packing, self-imaging (in relaxing scenarios), writing, photography, crafts, etc. Whatever interests you slightly, to get your mind off things.

I've gone into the psych hospital more than a few times. Not all aspects are fun, no. But, it was the right thing for me to do for myself in those times. I don't regret my decisions to go in. Hospitals have improved a lot (thank goodness!) over the past 20+ years ~ and it isn't like "One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest" at all anymore. A lot of laws and regulations have been put into place to allow patients human rights and respect from employees. So, try not to worry about the hospitalization being a horrifying experience. It's really NOT that bad.

I wish you the very best! You'll be in my thoughts and hopes ~ gentle hugs to you.

[roads]

Try to focus on being there and suspend their processing of you into it. The ER part can be annoying --but you're doing the right thing for yourself. I'll be thinking of you.
roadie

[sugahorse1]

All the best. I am thinking of you. I hope you get better soon and will be back here with us. I'm sure this is the best decision for you right now, and I'm glad you have a pdoc that cares so much.

[thickntired]

You're in my thoughts- Sending peace & healing prayers your way! This too shall pass

TnT

[avlady]

hospital visits used to scare the heck out of me, because of the one flew over the coocoo's nest and it isn't anything like that anymore. i was hospitalized 5 times in the 1980's when it was worse, but my last stay in 2007 i didn't want to leave as i had made so many friends even with the workers. keep your head up and it is a courageous step you are taking, i commend you. i know this may sound stupid but ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

[Nammu]

I know you are already there, I just want to say I commend you for taking such a hard, hard step. I'm glad you have a doctor who will work with you to make things as trauma free as possible.