i dont understand the point of a relationship/marriage

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years,we have a 6 month old daughter together & on new years he proposed to me.I was hesitant but said yeah of course he made the effort to pick out a ring and get on his knee in the snow,didn't want to sound harsh by saying no.Not that I want somebody else,or am unfaithful,I just don't understand the point.I've never been the girl that wanted a marriage or kids but my daughter came and I wouldn't change her for the world,but it feels like the only point of getting married would be to share obligations.Roomates persay.We don't need eachother for anything.We make our own money,pay our separate bills,feed ourselves,have separate blankets when we sleep,I mean I just don't understand the use of this.why do I Need this? It brings me no joy or completeness or a feeling of anything other than obligations.We are two separate people who have a daughter together.He says he's happy and complete and blah blah but yet I don't feel that.I don't understand why I don't think of things the same way as other people.Yes I care about him,love him,but don't need him,he's just there.I could go either way.I've always been happy alone.Is this normal?Is that what a marriage is? A life of boredom and nothing to look forward to?Should I just get married knowing to me its just a piece of paper?

Well, if you check the laws in your location, then you might see it would be to the benefit of your daughter.

I personally believe it's better for people in a long-term relationship to be married. If you don't even care about whether you are with him or not, then why are you even together? I think you need to be honest with him, if you really don't care to be legally married. It sounds as if you want to be free to move out of this relationship at some point, no strings attached. If this is the way you really feel, then I think you would be doing him a disservice by going along with it.

I suspect if the "right guy" comes along, then you might feel differently about a piece of paper.

Bambi,

Your description of your relationship doesn't sound as though you are getting anything meaningful out of the relationship with your bf/fiance. So, how can you say that you love him? What exactly do you love about him?

Don't make yourself marry just because you don't want to disappoint your bf. He'd be a lot more disappointed to later find out that you weren't really emotionally connected to him to begin with! Your post just sounds very negative about your perspective towards your current relationship, which is a big red flag to me. If you truly don't see any positives to this relationship now, maybe you both ought to take a couple of steps back from one another to gain a better perspective.

You need to do what you honestly believe, in your heart, is the right thing for you to do for your happiness. Believe it or not, young children very quickly pick up on moods of others. Particularly those that they care about. So, if you're always feeling down, or stressed, hopeless, your daughter will certainly pick up on those emotions no matter how you try to disguise them. They are smart cookies ~ trust me! Being honest with yourself will allow you to be a lot happier in the time that you spend with your daughter.

Best wishes to you and your family!

I do not know your personality or the type of person you are. But to me it sounds like you were content with the situation of living with your boyfriend and having the child together. That you did not need the status of marriage stapled to your forehead to be happy. I could be wrong I am just throwing this out there. It is not unheard of for people to have a child together while leading there own and separate lives. It is becoming more socially acceptable nowadays. I would sit down and talk to him and see where he stands if he wants to get married because it was he feels should be done since you have a child together and if he is doing it for the child. It seems you both already have a stable household.

Do either of you go out to dinner with each/parties anything like that?

don't get married then,just live with the father of your baby

I have met people that have no desire to be married to their partner. I do not understand this, but I frequently wonder myself why do people get married and on the other hand, why don't they get married.

You should only get married if you want to get married. I've been married now for nearly 2/3 of my life. I cannot imagine not being married. I'm far from bored, in fact I long for boredom. I do not need my husband, but I want him in my life.

These days marriage has more legal ramifications that social ones. But in my opinion, you cannot make a bigger commitment than having a child with someone. Paper or not, you're stuck with him/her for the rest of your life. Once the child is an adult there will still be weddings and holidays that the other will be included in. I really do not think that two involved parents can be ever really be separate.