[Maven]

I just need to tell someone about the current anxiety I'm having. I live in a very limited environment, and the issue right now is my bedside drawer and table (it's not really a table, but the top of the drawers comes up just right next to my bed, so that's how I use it). I keep my "clean" stuff in the top drawer and also have a "clean" alarm clock and phone on top. However, the lamp on my table, because it got pushed against the wall a few years ago, has become "dirty" to me, and so I don't touch it. As such, it has become very dusty. I should amend one thing...I touch the base of it with a duster or disinfectant wipes, but I don't touch the top because of all the dust.

There is a spider that's on the wall and has been in my room the past couple of days. I'm not afraid of spiders, but the fact that they might spin webs on my stuff or disturb the dusty areas (like the lamp and old spiderwebs from spiders past) really has me nervous. If dust gets spread, I may have to take everything out of my drawer and rewrap it in new Ziploc bags, and if dust gets on them again, I'll have to do it all over again, until the spider is gone and no longer causing a problem. Why do spiders and bugs always have to go near my lamp and bed? I know some bugs are attracted to light, but I can't turn it off because a) I need it, and b) I can't touch the lamp. That light is always on. When the lightbulb needs changing, I have a whole rigamarole I have to go through, and I use my boyfriend's help.

I'm going to be so frustrated if I have to clean things and rewrap them. My OCD doesn't like this. I wish I could get the spider out of my room, but I can't touch it or the wall it's on. Even if I could catch it on the wall, it's not in a "safe" place that won't disturb dust or upset anything.

Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest. I hope some of you read this, just so I know someone listened. You don't have to reply, but sending me hugs would be nice, even if they won't solve the problem.

[Mayflower7]

Hi Maven,
I am ever so sorry you're going though this right now. I do hope you're able to find the right help that works for you.
Might your boyfriend be able to move it, without you watching? Or wearing ? Gloves even. I do hope you don't mind me offering some solutions. I hope maybe someone ? Could help you with your room in any way that does not distress you. Please forgive me for asking have you sought any medical help for this. Please only discuss what you feel safe too.
Take care
Kate

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Big, clean, safe hugs to you ((((Maven))))

[Perna]

Can your boyfriend help get it for you?

[Maven]

Thanks, guys. No, my bf can't get it, because it's in a very dusty area by my lamp, and him trying to squeeze into the small area to get it (not to kill it; I don't want to hurt it) would cause the lamp to shake and dust to spread around. It's been there all night and all day. What's it waiting for? I guess the answer is food? I just don't have the patience to sit in the same place all day like that. I'm silly for saying that, because I spend most of my time in one of two places, when not using the bathroom and on the rare occasion I go out.

I just hope it doesn't spin any webs on my stuff or cause dust to fall from the lamp.

I'm in therapy for my anxiety (it's not the spider I'm afraid of, exactly; it's anything that could "dirty" my stuff or cause dust to spread), and I'm on pills for anxiety and OCD, among other things. If the spider would just cross my room on the wall, I could ask my boyfriend to get it out of my room--if he were home at the time (he's been working long hours lately). But thanks to you all, I appreciate it.

[Maven]

It's still there. On the ceiling right now. I'm not as freaked out, because I don't think it's spun any webs on my stuff, that I can see, or disturbed the dust on the lamp, but I haven't been in here much of the time it has (and I've been asleep much of the time I am). I wish it would leave my room and go search for food elsewhere. If I could get it without risk to my OCD or anything, I'd do so, but I also don't want to get other bugs killed. I don't like to cause suffering. Just venting.