Why do we focus on the small stuff?

We all do it, but why? My husband and children went to get my youngest son at the airport. A four hour trip by themselves without mom to mediate. They're all bickering over really stupid stuff. My husband is freaking out because my son took us literally when we said "just bring yourself home." (Really, honey you're worried the boy has no clothes?!? He has two closets, a dresser, and three totes full here! If you're that concerned you are right next to one of the largest outlet malls in the country, surely they sell socks and underwear there.) My daughter is stressing that he would not know to bring the correct paperwork to get a marriage license. (He brought everything, he's fine.) With the other two boys it's manifesting as grumpy anything and everything is getting under their skin. They have reverted to toddlers.

They are all stressed out over the same thing. For many reasons this will be the last time we will all be together exactly as we are. Exactly how we have been for the last 20 years. Life changes us all, but usually this happens gradually over time. But we're about to fast forward and we're all stressed. We all know what we're worried about, it isn't underwear, a birth certificate, or that you had to eat at Denny's. My phone was blowing up with texts from them all.

Why can't we just let go of the little things and savor this time right now? We have no idea what tomorrow will bring, changes that we may not like. But right now, this second, all is right in our world. Why do we ruin it by worrying about tomorrow? If this time next year the worst thing that has happened to us is that Peanut has forgotten to pack a change of underwear I call that a good year!

I am fortunate that my boss lost my day off slip for today. Right now I can cry, worry, and fret in private with the support of my PC friends. Because by noon tomorrow, I will have a smile on my face and enjoy this time I have with my family. The next person that snaps because of that which has not yet happened, and God willing, will not, shall feel my wrath, because if I can hold it together, so can you!

I guess it must be human nature to tend to get wrapped up in small stuff. In fact, there was a book about not sweating the samll stuff that came out a few years ago. I am glad you are able to see the big picture and realize what really doesn't matter. I hope the rest of your family will, too!

I'm the person that reminds them. Which is why my phone was blowing up yesterday.

I agree with Payne1's response in saying that it is human nature to focus on the small stuff. I am fimiliar with the book he/she is refering to("Don't sweat the small stuff" by Richard Carlson) and it brings to light the fact and problem that we are struggling with which is that we all focus on the small things in life like the materialistic things for example and we fail to focus on the things that actually matter like family and friends.

I struggle with bipolar as well as some other crippling mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. I try to live my life one day at a time so i can see the bigger picture in life and so i can appreciate the little things that Dr. Carlson talks about in his brilliant book which anyone who hasnt read should definatly consider picking up. Hope i could help.

I think it's easier to worry about the small stuff because in our minds it's usually things we think we have control over, whether consciously or subconsciously. Also it distracts us from having to look at the bigger picture, which is usually far more worrisome.

I too must take life in the smallest chunks possible. When I forget, things can spiral pretty rapidly, due to my own symptoms. Hope you all find some relief and manage to catch those one or two perfect moments.

I also struggle with anxiety, bipolar, and depression. I have that book "Don't sweat the small stuff" it does help put things in perspective. I always tended to argue and fight over little annoyances. They mean nothing now when I see the big picture, which I think is what AAAAA meant in the first place. Hugs to all and yes, hope we can catch those perfect moments.

With my mental setup the "small stuff" is what I cannot control, I'm even better at dealing with death and destruction.

Hey, I'd rather think about whether my brother's socks are clean than, "Will my brother still love me after he marries and moves away from me?"

Our son has bigger changes in store than getting married. He's about to take his turn in the middle east. Granted things seem more stable there now than they were a few years ago, but still, its a terrifying thought. We knew that this would happen, we are realistic and know that he'll take his turn every 18 months. But that doesn't make the reality any easier to face.

AAAAA, I will send some energy his way. And yours, as well.

Often disproportionate feelings are displaced from other bigger things, as you don't consciously know what's really wrong, or you don't feel safe thinking about it. So you stick to smaller, finite concerns.

Modern life is very complicated. Everyone thinks about the small stuff and thinks about the big stuff, as well. I mean you're forced (and it's in your best interest) to think about big and small current events because someday they may effect you: laws regarding transportation (cars, planes), taxes, criminal mischief, death, right to die, political changes, popular media censorship, etc. They all (or someday may) effect you and everyone wants to own an opinion (if they happen to enter our lives someday). I don't like to have to think about these things because it's burdensome but everything in the World effects us all.

Listen to Alan Watts (Professor, Eastern Philosopher, Lecturer). He explains why all of this has developed in Western Culture and how it effects our lives and stifles our enjoyment and why we seek to know everything down to something smaller than the atom itself when all that we really (and can) know is the present and what's in front of our eyes. Very precise, eloquent lecturer. (Check youtube.)

"I believe that the most fascinating problem in the World is: Who am I?"