I want to talk.

I would love to talk, to get things off my chest. Problem is I'm not much of a talker. I never know what to say or how to say it. Thoughts get jumbled and mixed up in my head and I stray away from my original thought.

So in order to maybe help me out I thought I would start this post. I invite you all to ask me a question or questions. It could be anything you want I will answer and answer honestly.

I hope I get some questions, if not that is ok too. I do not require anything from you all than your questions. You do not need to even stick around for the answers or read this post again. You can just do a drive by question.

Have you ever thought about writing your jumbled thoughts down? Even just starting out with points, eventually working towards something less random? I do this sometimes, it helps to clear my mind a bit.
Anyway, how are you today?

I have tried writing my thoughts. But I tend to forget to do it, I also am very lazy and don't feel like doing it. I am not the best of writers either so when I write something down I don't like what I wrote I either throw it away or cross it out.

I am crappy as always. Too much bad going on. I have the next three days off which is a good thing I hate work. But I am realizing I am probably not going to eat because of my financial problems. At least at work I can "borrow" money from our change bin until pay day. I also realized I need somethings like soap, deodorant and other things and again I have no money.

Morning Pages | Julia Cameron Live

Try this. Watch the video.

That is an interesting video and concept. Problem is I do not have any drive left in me. Partly due to the fact I have found myself caring less and less about life. And partly due to the fact I have some ailments that gives me less energy and drive.

(hugs) So what's behind the name?

It just came to me when i signed up. I did not want to use one of the two other names i go by on the internet and needed to come up with something. I sat here thinking to myself what would fit this kind of forum and maybe who I am.

I find myself often wishing I had some kind of artisitic ability. Whether it be writing, miniature building, art, et cetera et cetera. I do not have any artistic ability and no creativity at all.

, why is the mood angry?

I am always angry. Most days I hide it cause I get tired of people telling me to calm down and to smile.

I want to ***** slap anyone who tells me to smile.

I can relate to being skint! It's a nightmare, it always seems right at the wrong time all your bills arrive, you run out of shopping and you have people pestering for money you just don't have.
What is your job? I'd like to ask why you feel so rubbish? But I understand if that's too personal.
Writing isn't for everyone, how about drawing what you feel or painting? Art can sometimes be therapeutic

I have found even bad art can be therapeutic... half the time I literally scribble.

I do apologise, about suggesting art before reading properly. Even if you don't think you're that artistic though, you don't have to be. Honestly, I'm pretty sure someone over here put a display of their dirty underwear in a big museum and called it art lol not saying you should go out waving dirty undies about or anything although... That could be therapeutic lol

Yep! Is all good if it releases something inside you don't otherwise know how to release

I am currently a counterman for a mom and pop auto parts store. Been my longest stint at a job ever.

I feel so rubbish cause I do. I have a lot of illnesses nothing too major (that I know of) but combined they take their toll.

Have you taken any college courses? The best thing that helped my writing was a writing course I took as a Sophomore. Teacher drilled into our heads where to put the main subject and to write exactly what you mean w/o ambiguity. Practicing that can carry over into socializing. Or do you read? Reading can train you to understand how to express yourself better. Constantly look for precise adjectives when you talk or write so others understand you easier.

I listened to a linguist expert on NPR and she said English is very confusing because lots of words have more than one meaning. I get stuck on this very much every day. Someone will say something and you're really not sure what they mean (if they are making a joke, if they are serious, etc.). I've had lots of problems with racing thoughts, putting thoughts together, losing my train of thought while speaking since onset of illness at 14.

I am always angry when I work, as well. I am prone to easy irritability, severe agitation and it never lets up and wells up into rage w/o me even knowing about it and I become disconnected to myself and emotions kind of numb. I would be very angry before I got to work in the morning because of drivers and traffic. That's why I'm on SSDI.

No college for me I was never smart enough nor did I have the money to afford it. It seems even when you are older than 18 and live on your own they still consider your parents as being guardians. So with all our combined pay we were making too much. Individually not so much.

I think this is a creative way to anwer questions and get out who and what you are about. I don't think I am creative either, but others do and there are many many ways to be creative. Do you think you would like to be an artist or writer?

Question: what's the last thing you read? Or, if you're not a reader, watched?

The last book i read was The death of Antagonis. I am currently reading Deathwatch. These books are background stories of a miniature boardgame called Warhammer 40k. The books are usually well written and are an interest to me. The game/ books are set in the far distant future. Their tag line is "In the far future, there is only war". Are all the books about war and fighting, well yeah. But there are few that focus on individuals and their lives living in this universe. Some comedy and a little romance as well.

Last movie I watched in a theatre was the new Star Trek. You may now realize I am into sci-fi. I also like comedies, action and don't tell no one I like romantic comedies.

How much is a Krabby Patty? Can I borrow fifty cents? Why is the sky blue? Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Did you turn the iron off?

It does suck that even if your on your own you have to supply your parents information until you are 24 years of age. I waited until I am 24 and started college. I didn't have to pay out of pocket at the time. You can fill out the FAFSA at the financial aid department at the college and get a student loan. I did this for my freshman year and then because my grades were so good I qualified for scholarships that covered the majority of my tuition. Also you can apply for grants there are all different types that you could possible qualify for. Just some food for thought if you decide to go to college.
Good luck to you. Also regarding the food situation you could reach out to the local churches in your area some give out food on particular days of the month and may make exceptions in emergency situations. Also contact your local department of children and family services and get a list of local food pantries in your area. ALso some Salvation Army's give out food and are a good source of other local resources. I hope some of this information helps. God Bless.

If you could have a creative ability, what would you pick?

(I've always been able to draw but to be honest it is 95% practice, Really. I wish I had some musical ability--sadly. none.)

When last did you do something nice and kind for yourself? Seems you are in need of a little TLC.

okay i'll ask you some things:

1. why would you say the main reason is for coming here

2. what do you hope to gain by being on the forum?

and 3. how is your current outlook on life in general