[jesusplay]

Seems the last 18 months, I've been dealing with mental illness. Is this normal? It just happened and now it's here.

I have bad anxiety and bad depression(possible bipolar) diagnosed.

I don't know who I am anymore, I've lost all my friends, and no one who I'm not paying understands me.

Have I always been mentally ill?

The last 3 years I was in the military, I didn't deploy or go to war but it was very stressful. Most stress I've ever been under, could that have caused me to snap along with being away from home for so long?

My first year of being in the military I was fine(functions, had friends, generally happy), but it seems after my first winter with up north where I was stationed something clicked in my head.

I intentionally overdosed on drugs, had to drink to be social, depressed out my mind, anxiety was high.

how is it this just happened so suddenly? I should be out, I'm 21, young having fun. I'm stuck inside my room, staring at the computer screen.

[growlithing]

I think some people are genetically prone to mental illness and then something triggers it. Perhaps the stress you were under triggered it. Lots of people don't have any symptoms until their late teens/early 20's

[roads]

The military is not a normal lifestyle for most of us. Depending on what sort of life you were living, the degree of difference may have come as a major change that you didn't adapt to naturally. This probably triggered a tendency toward mental illness--nothing had awakened it in you before.

Winter up north, when you're used to winter in the South--for example--would be both a physical as well as a mental shock. Stressful. You "intentionally overdosed on drugs, had to drink to be social, depressed out my mind, anxiety was high." Wow!!

Stress gives people strokes and heart attacks. The amount of stress you must have been under must have been under must have been enormous. The military ought to have seen the signs and taken steps to help you.

Because your stress wasn't handled professionally, you're now suffering the results. I'm so so sorry.

Are you getting veteran benefits? I hope so. You ought to be seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist--taking a mix of medications to help with the anxiety and depression/bipolar issues. It's important that you get the benefits due you.

Welcome to PsychCentral and please post as much as you can, connecting with folks who've had similar experiences.

Roadie

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by Roadie

The military is not a normal lifestyle for most of us. Depending on what sort of life you were living, the degree of difference may have come as a major change that you didn't adapt to naturally. This probably triggered a tendency toward mental illness--nothing had awakened it in you before.

Winter up north, when you're used to winter in the South--for example--would be both a physical as well as a mental shock. Stressful. You "intentionally overdosed on drugs, had to drink to be social, depressed out my mind, anxiety was high." Wow!!

Stress gives people strokes and heart attacks. The amount of stress you must have been under must have been under must have been enormous. The military ought to have seen the signs and taken steps to help you.

Because your stress wasn't handled professionally, you're now suffering the results. I'm so so sorry.

Are you getting veteran benefits? I hope so. You ought to be seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist--taking a mix of medications to help with the anxiety and depression/bipolar issues. It's important that you get the benefits due you.

Welcome to PsychCentral and please post as much as you can, connecting with folks who've had similar experiences.

Roadie

I got discharged almost 2 months ago. I ran out of meds 2 weeks ago, the VA won't see me for like 3 more months just for basic mental health care.

I'm going to try and get on my parents health insurance since I'm under 26, i got a pdoc appointment this week(out of pocket).

I've just been sitting in my old room, this isn't life. I know I need help, I know I should be in college, I just can't, it's pointless....UGh

[eskielover]

I know for me, my anxiety which turned into major depression was situational & hit me at the age of 41 after I lost my engineering career. I made it through the stress of getting my degree, having a family....however my bad marriage that my career was my escape from had probably been adding to my issues all along, I just didn't bother with it until I could no longer hide from it.

If it started with you being in the north.....don't forget that there is the depression SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)...the lack of sunshine is a great cause of depression my many people especially with those in Alaska & other regions like that......so that may have been a trigger.

I was trapped in the situation I was in.....& it wasn't until I was able to leave my H that things started getting a bit better for me.....but still struggle with the anxiety & depression to a certain extent....but then I went through a trauma about 8 years ago & that added a whole other mess on top of what I had been dealing with.

Lots of things can go into causing depression feelings. I think you need to push the VA into providing you mental health support NOW because of what you are going through.

[candidog]

Dear jesusplay,

you are experiencing a definite trauma from military life. It is almost like turning a switch on. Mine happened in one night! I was fine one day and after a very traumatic night i no longer remembered anything about my past. I found my dd214 on my computer and applied for medical health from va. It has saved my life! Va health care is very thorough and everyone is so nice. You will love it once you get in, plus you may want to check into va disability benefits. You were sick when you were in the military, so you automatically are eligible. If you need help call the military hot line and talk to someone. They are vets too!

[Otter63]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know at your age it's so hard to go through all this. Know this though, that you will get through this hard time and your life is not doomed because you have mental illness.

Sounds like you're not sure if you have bipolar or if this might be a situational thing. If it is bipolar it does usually just pop up in late teens or early twenties. Just my personal feeling, but from my experience personally and with family, stress has a part in it, but if you have bipolar it comes on and it would have come on no matter what. But that is totally just personal opinion.

Hang in there. I have experienced depression where every second was like torture and it went like that for months, but I just kept going and one day it got better. I've had a rocky life but a good one too. Take care. Hugs!

[Gus1234U]

i prefer the term "brain chemistry disorder", as that's what is actually happening. i agree with the other posters, stress is a killer. my disability was triggered by prolonged stress, later in life.

it's important to rely not just on drugs (meds), which are all experimental, on you. you also need to cultivate good mental hygiene habits: positive thoughts, good intentions, kindness to self and others, generosity of spirit, etc. these things will help you when no medication can.

i'm glad you found PC, and hope you find what you need here to carry on~
Gus

[Rose76]

You've hit the age when adult responsibilities kick in. That can often trigger a breakdown. It happened to me. Just when we've finally mastered a lot of what it takes to live successfully as a youth, we are thrown into the demands of adulthood. Maybe the military served as somewhat as a cushion. While you were in it, a lot of choices were made for you. Now - you are really your own person. That's hard.

It's not normal, IMO, to be mentally ill. Despite what doctors may tell us, I think a lot of us who have been called mentally ill may really be more along the lines of emotionally distressed. Everyone and their dog is getting diagnosed as bipolar these days. I'm skeptical of it. There is something that you need that you are not getting. That's my opinion. Socially, you are not meshing with other people. I base that only on what you are saying. (Plus, I think that's the basis of most mental distress.) Somehow, you have to figure out how to connect successfully. That can be terribly hard. But, if you had success in the past, as you say you have, then you have reason for hope.

You have to go out of your way to leave the computer and spend time with people whom you are not paying. That's the only way to learn how to live life. Easier said than done. (I sit here with the computer, when I should go out more, too.)

[spondiferous]

Mental illness - or as Gus put it, and as I prefer, 'brain chemistry disorder' - can affect anyone at any time. There is no hard and fast rule that only people with such-and-such have it, or that you have to be a certain age, or be born with it, be rich, poor, a certain color, size, or ability. It just happens. I'm sorry you're having a hard time getting the treatment you need. I hope it starts to go more smoothly.

[sprik]

after having my twins I went into depression, I was 27. they said it was post pardium. however u spell it lol, 4 yrs later I was dx with bipolar. My sister on my dad side is bipolar but I just found out a yr ago.

[eskielover]

Living with the H I had ended up driving me there also even though I didn't realize it at the time....add a few other major situations at the time, & poof.....you've job major anxiety & major depression, anorexia, & migraines that never go away for 10 years

Add a trauma, more & you've got PTSD to top that off along with more anorexia & another 10 years of distress & messed up mental illness......

DBT has been about the only treatment form that has helped me get through most of the major bad feelings but throw in dealing with stbxh & dealing with the divorce I'm trying to get finalized & anxiety attacks continue to haunt me.

[cool09]

The professional experts are still looking for answers. They say it's a combination of environment, genetics, stress, etc. Mood disorders and schizophrenia (up until 40) usually tend to show up in adolescence and something usually triggers it. I think that's why it's important to have good Mental Health Programs at Colleges, Military, etc.

With cancer they say there's a latent period which can be very long (+10 yrs) and then it shows itself.