Two sides of yourself

I have a this problem figuring out if I am a good person or not. I always have thoughts whether it's worth being a good honest and faithful person or just one day just become a total douche. I always have conflicting ideas all the time. I think it's really whack to feel like this. I know there's nothing wrong with being a good person but I feel that's not really me. I think this is a problem

Hello Thewayisee, welcome to Psych Central!

So you feel it's good to be good and bad to be bad. That's kind of black and white thinking and it's not as simple as that. We all have grey areas and I don't think it's possible to be 'good' all the time.

People aren't good or bad. They just sometimes behave in ways that are better or worse.

Hi welcome to PC!

I believe most of us have positive attributes and negative attributes. It's also not unusual to have conflicting thoughts.

Welcome to Psych Central, thewayisee!
I myself wonder sometimes what is really me,
what is a consequence of my Asperger's
Syndrome/High Functioning Autism, what is
a consequence of my depression, and so on.

I am also not always sure if I'm a good person at all. I feel like doing cruel things to other people, I care very little for other people, I find myself often very selfish. I guess I thought I'm a good person from the beginning. I used to be so ready to please everybody else. Then When I was 9 yars old and my mother had just died, I saw this weird dream. And in the dream I was so cruel to my mother, like I've never been to anybody. That dream just made me wonder if I 'm just a big fat liar.

Since the time people started writing, people have been asking these same questions. In plays, books, the bible, philosophers, etc. It's not whacked in fact it's pretty sane really.

Funny thing about dreams, what they seem at the surface, aren't always what the subconscious is working through.

I once, had a dream, that stayed with me, when I was 3/4 years old. It was a knife floating through the air. Most of my life, I wondered about the meaning of that dream.

I was harboring anger. Knives represent unexpressed anger. I was angry about something, that happened to me, in that time frame. Clearly, too young to articulate that anger.

It was liberating, to realize, it symbolized anger and not homicidal tendencies.

Hope you can clarify your dream for yourself. You weren't actually cruel to your mom, in real life. You subconscious could have been grieving, et al.