Oh she has a mental health problem.

Again, I offer only the following for your consideration.

My mother has bipolar disorder. I was raised in a violent, chaotic, abusive environment.

I have depression, anxiety, with a hearty splash of PTSD thrown in.

Now. I can extend to my mother a remarkable amount of understanding for her condition, but I do not excuse her behavior. I suffered because of it. I think it didn't have to happen.

It did, however, and left indelible marks on me and my entire family.

So. How do we handle this? Where does one draw the line between understanding and being hurt.

Don't we, as adults, get to chose those with whom we associate and those we don't? Who is responsible for what?

One mentally unstable person can disrupt an entire work environment. What do we do then?

Mental illness cuts both ways and healthy dose of understanding needs to flow both ways. I just don't think it's fair to expect allowances for oneself without providing the same for others.

They have lost trust with reality is a good description. Maybe they never did know it in the first place,or never will be in touch with reality because their situations are so painful in reality they have to break from their reality, so they then become pshcyotic,I say this because i think that is where i have been for the past 20 years.

Off topic but I'm from the UK, we say, 'spelt' or 'spelled.'

I second that.

"spell1
Pronunciation: /spɛl/

verb (past and past participle spelled or chiefly British spelt)
[with object]
1write or name the letters that form (a word) in correct sequence"

Source: spell: definition of spell (1) in Oxford dictionary (British & World English)

Funny old Americans...

TRIGGER - SPECIFIC MENTION OF SUICIDE METHOD

What really hurts me as much as the ignorance of others, is when people make jokes about mental illness and suicide. As a suicide survivor who now has no desire to die, I have a lot of empathy for those who do. It is so hurtful when people say "Oh, I could just slit my wrists" or something like that. I don't talk about my past struggles to anyone. I can't face the total lack of understanding and derision that I get.

This reminds me of my sister, who told me to go live in a homeless shelter rather than continue to live at home, because I am too lazy and whatever. Easy for her to say. Spend a day inside my head and then maybe I'll listen to your 'advice'.

It's terrible when family, the people who should "be there for you" treat you like dirt.

I really, really hate when someone says something to the effect of "if you want to be happy, you just have to choose to be!"

At the same time that their lack of understanding bothers me, I also can't help but wish them all the best; it must be brilliant to have gone through life this far without every really having to personally understand mental illness. In the same way that I just can't relate to people who truly ARE positive, happy, and generally well adjusted and all those excellent things, I'm sure those people can't really relate to someone like me, or someone with a different mental illness than me,

It can be. I also think it depends on how you've treated your family.

I’m late to this discussion, but I’d like to comment.

I’ve been in and out of therapy for 50 years, much of which did little good and some may have done harm. I tried my best to be a good parent and knew that I might have challenges because I had come from a dysfunctional family.

For the last 3 ½ years I’ve been seeing a specialist in trauma and dissociation. She diagnosed me with DDNOS (now called C-PTSD, I think) and PDNOS. My feelings of hurt were dissociated and I had “protector” parts that did not care about other people. I knew that there were actions or action tendencies of mine that were “bad”, but did not know why – my regular consciousness just didn’t feel “hurt”, as I do now that the emotions associated with the trauma incidents have been remembered (and also re-membered, as in put back as part of me). Mostly those parts “acted in” and beat up on me, psychologically, but sometimes they lashed out, too.

My children were undoubtedly hurt by not having a better mother. I could not have done any better, with the personality I had at the time and the help (or unhelp) that I was receiving. I can choose better ways of handling things now, but I could not then.

One of the unfortunate (and ultimately painful) things about mental illness is that we sometimes DO impact people in our environment adversely and we can not help it – at least at the time. Happens with physical illness and disorders, too.

i feel like this, i let mt demons out a few years ago, iv seen councellors but my angers such a big problem, its ruinin my life i cant controll it and im ruinin my boyfriends life now too, ive ruined everything

when people look down on someone because their anxiety shows. Do they not realise the anxiety is part of Distress and often has been caused by abuse. Growl.

I wish "they" would get it also Pegs. I wish I had the answers to make them understand. All I have to say is........for not being in my right mind most of the time I do a semi good job of faking it so I can fit in with the right minded people of this world. Just my two cents! Trying to make it real compared to what?

What I hate more than anything else is the double standard. If someone else offends me, it gets justified. "You have to overlook him/her. He/she has a mental illness, poor thing. He/she can't help it." This paints me as an intolerant so-and-so if the behavior continues to offend me, right? But let ME offend somebody else while I'm having a bad day, and then try to explain that I have a mental illness, and all of a sudden it's, "Oh, quit using your mental illness as an excuse, and take responsibility for your behavior."

Then there's "Did you take your medicine today?" or "Do you need to call your doctor?" every time I have any emotional reaction, no matter how normal, typical, or legitimate. When we have a psychiatric diagnosis, we aren't allowed any emotions at all, are we? I knew a man whose doctor automatically upped his medication, without even seeing him first, when his mother died. They were very close. It seems to me that a lot of sadness and crying and even falling apart would be expected in that situation, right? But no, because he has a mental illness, all emotions become symptoms. They'd give someone who is diagnosis-free a lot more leeway, that's for sure.

well, this is sadly a result of medical model that some advocates keep pushing in good faith.

I for one do believe in the medical aspect of it, and I know I couldn't function normally if I didn't take my meds, but I think you and I agree that in this situation it was ridiculous to just automatically prescribe meds without even a consultation. In my opinion and experience, every malady, whether physical or psychiatric, involves both medical and behavioral treatment. As a diabetic I have to both take my insulin and watch my diet. As a person with depression, I have to both take my antidepressant and watch my thoughts. Balance.

"It's all in your head?" So is a brain tumor. That one annoys me a lot, because when we get down to it, everything is just electrical impulses sent to our mind. But I think my absolute least favorite (And the scariest) is "They're just doing it for attention." This reveals a lack of understanding that is astounding and, frankly, should not exist.

I just get irked when meds are seen as answer for everything. Once I ranted to somebody about my class for which I was supposed to write a paper and nobody gave us instructions how, on what shall we focus... so on. Somebody suggested to see my doctor for anti-anxieties. Yes, I was anxious, but for a reason...

and I heard stories about Ts who recommend you see shrink each time they don't know answer to your problems. Trouble with boyfriend? Apparently, there's meds for that.

I do think we can control ourself to a degree. Nothing gives you excuse to take it out on others... and when it happens, you gotta make amends. Cause it can happen... even to normals. Don't blame your brain... try to learn from it. You wouldn't want to be on recieving end of some crazy person who uses crazy as excuse.

I agree, docs run to drugs pretty quickly, but I can't discount the medical model completely.

I absolutely agree that we certainly can, and should, try to examine, and above all else, learn from our behaviors.

If we don't like the way we act, we do have some control over it. Acting is like breathing, it is autonomic and under our control.

I did think I was going to get some understanding from people here at Psych Central. Unfortunately it appears that there is still some stigma, ignorance and misunderstandings around mental health even around some who suffer themselves. One in four people have a mental health problem at some point in their lives, it is shunned, ridiculed and brushed under the carpet.

I have some mental health issues that I cope with and have done due to the life experiences I have endured. I am also lucky to work with people with severe depression, are psychotic, are in psychosis and I work with those with severe dementia. I am telling you now, this is not an act. It is not something they can control. It is not something they have brought on themselves. Do you really think hallucinations are under your own control? No.

My thread is about ignorance of severe mental health issues and the FACT that it can't be controlled by the person without help/support/medication/therapy and you know what else? ...... Compassion!

Thank you for all opinions, views and support expressed on this thread.

hi everyone, this thread is closed at the OPs request
thanks