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Old Sep 14, 2013, 09:49 AM
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You know it really does piss me off how people do not or won't understand what mental health is all about. I know you guys here understand but there are many in the world that just don't get it.

Many mental health issues are because of severe distress. It's not something that can be controlled but it is something we learn to cope with. (Oh why doesn't she just control her behaviour!) It's not as easy as all that, if it was many of us would not suffer.

Imagine this, a child is abused throughout their childhood but blocks much of it out because it's too difficult to deal with. It couldn't be let out at the time because it was unsafe to do so. Right. So as an adult the distress comes out. But there are people that do not understand this concept and I suppose they wouldn't unless they had been through it themselves. I wish people did get it and then maybe there would be a little more compassion in the world!

End of rant.
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  #2  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 10:03 AM
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Yup, so true. And they treat you like **** when they find out, or are patronizing and treat you like a child. A few people are good about. Frankly, I have hidden my MH issue to a great extent because of that.

Last edited by MotownJohnny; Sep 14, 2013 at 11:22 AM.
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  #3  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 10:11 AM
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so true! ((((((( Pegasus )))))))
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Old Sep 14, 2013, 10:39 AM
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I know exactly what you mean. I've tried explaining borderline personality disorder to people, but usually the best "advice" I get is to "quit acting like an asshole" or "stop thinking that way". Eventually I learned to just not tell people and to not get close to people. It hurts a lot less that way.
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  #5  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 11:47 AM
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i know how it feels, i tried to explain to my friend before that i am over sensitive, and when i experience something difficult i can get into very depressed and sad mood and hard to cope with it. she laughed and thought i was joking, but when she knew that i wasn't joking and explained to her how i really feel, she didnt say anything. i dont know if she thinks i am crazy now or no
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  #6  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 11:57 AM
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I understand what you mean. I just keep away from people now. It's too hard and exhausting.
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  #7  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 12:22 PM
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But then, even a mental health patient CAN control their behaviour, you can't excuse yourself all the time by your mental health issues. It is also very foolish to expect that everybody SHOULD understand, because nobody can understand everything. Most people understand very little.
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  #8  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 03:29 PM
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True that people understand very little. Most people ttally lack bth knowledge and a heart. Control their behavior...? Sure, I can smile when I'm dying inside not to bother people, sure. I can do it until I crash and burn. Can I force myself indefinitely to act "normal" every second of the day? NOOOOOO. And why should I have to? Everyone whines about small things like even if they snapped a shoelace.

I have met people from different countries, and everyone is not as ignorant and judgmental as.. some others...
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  #9  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 04:24 PM
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That above isn't exactly "controlling" your behaviour, as much as it is "changing" your behaviour. What I'm talking about is for instance a person with personality disorder. They might like to insult other people to make them feel bad etc. Or a phsycotic person, even he can at some level control his doings. A person doesn't have to be happy, there's nothing there to control, but if you get angry and beat somebody up just because you're feeling angry. Even if you have a personality disorder, you are still fully responsible for beating somebody up.
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  #10  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Fiddler View Post
Or a phsycotic person, even he can at some level control his doings.
It is spelt 'psychotic'

And no, you are completely wrong there. A person who is in psychosis cannot control their behaviour because they have lost touch with reality due to severe distress.

You have much to learn.
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  #11  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 05:31 PM
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(((Pegs))))

I'm sorry. I hate running into it too. That's why I hide who I am, that I'm a person with "mental problems"... my relationships suffer for it. I feel that I'm unlovable, in part because people ACT just like the way you're describing if they know other people in similar situations.


and no, when I was psychotic... I couldn't really control my actions. That was what scared me the most about it. I almost never got "truly" psychotic... I was right on the brink of totally losing control. The only time I was "fully" psychotic, I was rolling on the floor unable to stop, due to psychosis brought on by psych medications that did not work for me. So no, I don't think someone in a psychotic state has control. It depends on the person and the type of psychosis, but ... yeah. I sure didn't. It was so scary, I still have nightmares about it years later.

*stops rant*
OK, Pegs... good news is there are a very limited FEW WHO GET IT. Hang onto that fact
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  #12  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 05:34 PM
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Hugs (((((( turquoisesea )))))) Yes I understand and thank you for understanding too.
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  #13  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 11:38 PM
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I get you Pegs. We do understand.
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  #14  
Old Sep 14, 2013, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
It is spelt 'psychotic'

And no, you are completely wrong there. A person who is in psychosis cannot control their behaviour because they have lost touch with reality due to severe distress.

You have much to learn.
I agree 100%!!! I wish we could control psychosis but you can't thus the reasons for medication, hospitalization, pdocs, and tdocs!!!
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  #15  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 12:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiddler View Post
That above isn't exactly "controlling" your behaviour, as much as it is "changing" your behaviour. What I'm talking about is for instance a person with personality disorder. They might like to insult other people to make them feel bad etc. Or a phsycotic person, even he can at some level control his doings. A person doesn't have to be happy, there's nothing there to control, but if you get angry and beat somebody up just because you're feeling angry. Even if you have a personality disorder, you are still fully responsible for beating somebody up.
Legally this is correct and I agree 100%

But scientifically harder to say. How can any one in their right mind do any thing bad or wrong or evil? Is it possible to be in your right mind and still do things contrary to a sane person? What person in their right mind goes around beating people up? Or robbing them, or killing them? While they still must be held accountable for their actions. We can't say for sure if they were in their right mind or not. Even a sane normal person can snap at any time. Break from being in their right mind. We would have to be able to control all of our emotions and feelings to be able to always stay in our right mind. Who can do that 24/7 their whole life? I doubt any one has that much control over their behavior. So this question can be a rather deeper question then first meets they.
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  #16  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 03:52 AM
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We all have our burdens to carry. I think when someone tells me that I am behaving badly, or things aren't going well, then I have an obligation to examine my own behavior and change it if need be.

Mental illness can cause a lot of suffering, and not just for those that have it.

It's not fun, but we can't expect others to understand. They have a right to expect a certain level of appropriate behavior from us.

Compassion is always good, as is self-discipline and self-examination.
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  #17  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 03:21 PM
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Yeesh, it would just be nice to receive something other than criticism and derision from so-called normal people when they encounter the reality that it is indeed difficult for some people to do the things that "normal" people take for granted. I think people without mental health issues should cut those who do a little slack. Instead of criticizing, they should try to understand and maybe even help the person with MH issues. At the very least, just treat them with respect verbally and non-verbally.

And, no, I'm not excusing bad behavior by anyone. I just don't like to see those with MH issues judged and treated more harshly than those without MH issues for the same offense.
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  #18  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
You know it really does piss me off how people do not or won't understand what mental health is all about. I know you guys here understand but there are many in the world that just don't get it.

Many mental health issues are because of severe distress. It's not something that can be controlled but it is something we learn to cope with. (Oh why doesn't she just control her behaviour!) It's not as easy as all that, if it was many of us would not suffer.

Imagine this, a child is abused throughout their childhood but blocks much of it out because it's too difficult to deal with. It couldn't be let out at the time because it was unsafe to do so. Right. So as an adult the distress comes out. But there are people that do not understand this concept and I suppose they wouldn't unless they had been through it themselves. I wish people did get it and then maybe there would be a little more compassion in the world!

End of rant.



I actually find it so lame that if a child has been abused and exhibits challenging behaviour, everybody will empathize and get all so supportive. Hundreds of thousands of people sob themselves silly watching movies about neglected, betrayed, misunderstood children yet when they are faced with the real life equivalent of the same child; now an adult but hurting just as much if not more, all they have to say is "man up and stop acting out".
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  #19  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Edda View Post


I actually find it so lame that if a child has been abused and exhibits challenging behaviour, everybody will empathize and get all so supportive. Hundreds of thousands of people sob themselves silly watching movies about neglected, betrayed, misunderstood children yet when they are faced with the real life equivalent of the same child; now an adult but hurting just as much if not more, all they have to say is "man up and stop acting out".

Or.......don't let the past define who you are.

Or....it is in the past....your safe now and you are no longer being abused.
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  #20  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 05:02 PM
Fiddler Fiddler is offline
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Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
It is spelt 'psychotic'

And no, you are completely wrong there. A person who is in psychosis cannot control their behaviour because they have lost touch with reality due to severe distress.

You have much to learn.
Yeah, so do you. See what I said, I didn't say a person in psychosis, I said a psychotic person. There's a great difference. Sorry I spelled incorrect (don't even know how to say that) - must be the depression. Not the lack of education. Or maybe my lack of education is because of my depression. Then it just could be the other way around, they say so in the papers. Educated people suffer less of depression. Maybe educated people have been taught so smart, they understand not to admit their depression. But how do you expect me to know, I'm mentally ill.
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  #21  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 06:50 PM
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well said Pegs x people only understand if they have seen all you have been through and no one ever has seen everything other than yourself. even the abusers only see part of the picture. so unfortunately only the recipients of abuse understand what others are going through.
people who are not recipients have no clue and never will. the concept that people could be so strong as to hide emotions and hurt for many years is way beyond their understanding therefore the concept that these people need to release it in later life is not within their ability to understand either. their protected little brains try to relate what they see to their own way of being and try to come up with 'solutions' to our problems and as they have no concept of the problems in the first place they usually are unable to come up with useful or helpful answers.
'it's all in your head... pull yourself together..... only you can fix it...'
yeah like I haven't tried, like I love being like this or chose to be this way, like I am under mental health because I am unable to fix it myself... it is not rocket science, but there again maybe it is to non recipients!

Last edited by yellowted; Sep 15, 2013 at 07:05 PM.
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  #22  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 06:55 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Originally Posted by Fiddler View Post
That above isn't exactly " Even if you have a personality disorder, you are still fully responsible for beating somebody up.
I say point, here, well made, well taken. Because the other side of the argument is to say that the 'victim' is responsible for triggering that emotion that resulted in the beating.

On another note, I don't see mentioned on this thread, I want to bring up 'anxiety'.

Know what I hate about other's not understanding, or lets remove the work understanding, but just having a sense of empathy and compassion for, where anxiety is concerned....
Oh stop worrying so much! AS IF!!!

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  #23  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 07:22 PM
Fiddler Fiddler is offline
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Originally Posted by yellowted View Post
well said Pegs x people only understand if they have seen all you have been through and no one ever has seen everything other than yourself. even the abusers only see part of the picture. so unfortunately only the recipients of abuse understand what others are going through.
people who are not recipients have no clue and never will. the concept that people could be so strong as to hide emotions and hurt for many years is way beyond their understanding therefore the concept that these people need to release it in later life is not within their ability to understand either. their protected little brains try to relate what they see to their own way of being and try to come up with 'solutions' to our problems and as they have no concept of the problems in the first place they usually are unable to come up with useful or helpful answers.
'it's all in your head... pull yourself together..... only you can fix it...'
yeah like I haven't tried, like I love being like this or chose to be this way, like I am under mental health because I am unable to fix it myself... it is not rocket science, but there again maybe it is to non recipients!
That's a bit too simple put. All experiences are different. No experience of yours means you understand any of anothers. How little do we understand of the lives of healthy people. Or maybe some do remember at least. I don't.
  #24  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 07:42 PM
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'it's all in your head... pull yourself together..... only you can fix it...'
Theses are all true, and sometimes I do think we need to hear it. My recovery is completely up to me, learning to live with this illness is something only I can fix. Some days I do need to say "pull yourself together" I still have a life to get through.
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  #25  
Old Sep 15, 2013, 07:49 PM
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transientsoul transientsoul is offline
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Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
It is spelt 'psychotic'

And no, you are completely wrong there. A person who is in psychosis cannot control their behaviour because they have lost touch with reality due to severe distress.

You have much to learn.

Ahem, I can't resist.

It is spelled.... spelled. Not spelt. Spelt/Spelled are almost homophones, but not quite: One bears a distinct T ending, while the other is a moderate D.

Wikipedia tells us that:
Spelt, also known as dinkel wheat,[2] or hulled wheat,[2] is an ancient species of wheat from the fifth millennium BC. Spelt was an important staple in parts of Europe from the Bronze Age to medieval times; it now survives as a relict crop in Central Europe and northern Spain and has found a new market as a health food.

Sorry. I'm a writer, so yeah... words.

The greater point I want to leave here outside of vocabulary, is that this post is a great reminder of why people with and without mental illness should join organizations like NAMI to foster understanding of the difficulties and overcome the stigmas associated with a wide variety of emotional challenges.
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